marorda's little poetry corner

[marorda]

This is a poem of sorts that I wrote some time ago. When I was looking through some box in the study room of my home, I found some pictures of my father, who has died in a car accident when I was only four years old. This has caused several problems between my mom, me, and my dad's family.


I have, by several people, been scolded when I told them I do not miss my father. They don't seem to understand I have no memories of him, so I can't grasp the concept of "father" and don't know what I'm missing. Finding the pictures just triggered something in me and I had to write it off my chest. Below is the result.


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Pictures


I found a box with pictures


In a box upstairs


How long have they been there?


Does it matter?


No one cares.


The photos are mine, yet they are not.


They were just given to me.


And when you look at those old pictures,


So you know who you see?


It's a little boy


Playing with a ball


But people just don't understand


Why I can't miss him at all


Some people think it's wrong


But I was just four when he died


I didn't know him for that long


They're pictures of a stranger


Yet they are not


They're pictures of my father


I heard I look like him a lot.


To me he is a stranger


I don't care they think it's bad


It's just pictures of a stranger,


A man who happens to be my dad.

 

[marorda]

And another poem. Written almost five years now, I realize. This was on a school trip. We went rafting, and then things went wrong... kinda... In the end all was fine and we all lived. But I'm sad to say we were very very close to ending our trip one day earlier, and with at least one person from our year less...


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20 seconds


I feel I'm turning upside down.


I want to scream, but can't make any sound.


I fall into the cold and close my eyes.


As I open them, I only see darkness, I feel the water, sand and stones.


I feel above me, something's above my head.


I can't escape, I feel like I panic.


I manage to get up and try to breath.


But I fail, and I'm pulled down again.


Pulled along with the stream.


I manage to get up again, and see a face.


I try to yell for help, but I don't have any breath.


Pulled down and along again.


I'm scared, feel like I'll die.


Then I feel the hands on my shoulders.


They pull me up, but I slip away.


The hands grab me tighter and pull me up.


I see the sky, I feel the stones beneath me and the sun on my back.


I gasp for breath, and stay down for a little longer.


Carefully, I try to stand again.


They ask if I'm okay.


I shiver a little and say "I'm fine."


I look around, and see people looking.


At me, the water, the boat and the others who where just pulled out.


I'm alive, all of us made it, but we were scared.


Never, never I've been this afraid before.


Scared to die, never see the sun again, feel it's pleasant warmth.


But I feel it, and I sigh.


Everything happened in just 20 seconds.


20 seconds I'll never forget.


20 seconds full of details, full of fear.


But now it's over.


We're safe.


I sigh again.