RoyalPhoenix32
The Royal Phoenix
Hello~! I'm having some trouble with my lore. I have it fairly set but I would like some advice on either to expand it or simplify it. I'll post the lore for two things I have. One is the lore on guardians and the other is the normal lore.
Guardian lore:
Guardians, mortals that belong to the order of Paracletus Tutella. They have powers over certain aspects like the gods but mortal bodies inhibit godly powers. Paracletus Tutella has been around for thousands of years and 30 guardians have graced its mantle of names. Some guardians are long dead while others are in hiding, waiting for the world to need them once more. It was an ancient war that forced the guardians to go into hiding, many had lost their lives to protect themselves while fleeing into hiding.
Normal Lore:
The dawn and dusk. Ever an eternal dance to bring and cast the sun away. The dawn brings new hope and renewal while dusk brings slumber and revelry. But why must two people cast their lives to bring a balance to the dawn and dusk? The dawn must at times yield to the dusk and vice versa. It is how it has been since time immoral. Two mortals, chosen by the goddess of dawn and the god of dusk, must perform a dance to set the balance right if the said balance is upset. Gender is irrelevant as is class or race. The goddess of dawn and god of dusk wish not to war with the other for balance so they chose two mortals to be their counter parts. The dance is performed in an area known only to them and the dawn and dusk. Only one comes out alive with the dance and the other's life sets the balance aright.
I would like feedback as well since I do have a small story that the lore is based off of.
Guardian lore:
Guardians, mortals that belong to the order of Paracletus Tutella. They have powers over certain aspects like the gods but mortal bodies inhibit godly powers. Paracletus Tutella has been around for thousands of years and 30 guardians have graced its mantle of names. Some guardians are long dead while others are in hiding, waiting for the world to need them once more. It was an ancient war that forced the guardians to go into hiding, many had lost their lives to protect themselves while fleeing into hiding.
Normal Lore:
The dawn and dusk. Ever an eternal dance to bring and cast the sun away. The dawn brings new hope and renewal while dusk brings slumber and revelry. But why must two people cast their lives to bring a balance to the dawn and dusk? The dawn must at times yield to the dusk and vice versa. It is how it has been since time immoral. Two mortals, chosen by the goddess of dawn and the god of dusk, must perform a dance to set the balance right if the said balance is upset. Gender is irrelevant as is class or race. The goddess of dawn and god of dusk wish not to war with the other for balance so they chose two mortals to be their counter parts. The dance is performed in an area known only to them and the dawn and dusk. Only one comes out alive with the dance and the other's life sets the balance aright.
I would like feedback as well since I do have a small story that the lore is based off of.