dva
are you even trying?
j a c k r o s e w o o d
23 years old ; born on april 16th, 1993 ; aries
male ; heterosexual
6'3" ; 186 lbs
blue eyes ; brown hair
vices ; lust, wrath, envy
virtues ; diligence, liberality, humility
skills ; hacking, mathematics, cooking
fears ; instability, hurting others, children crying
mbti ; enfp-t
moral alignment ; lawful neutral
theme ; i've been trying to fix my pride but that shit's broken / i'm gonna pick your brain and get to know your thoughts so i can read your mind so you don't have to talk
biography ; jack came from a family that should have broken long before it actually did.he has one sibling: a younger brother named tanner. his brother taught him responsibility at a young age, as their mother was a drunk. she was either out with friends or unconscious on the dining room table. because of her inability to take care of tanner, jack had taken care of him ever since the youngest turned 4. the boys were inseparable because of this. jack always took tanner to school and back, helped him with homework, and cooked him whatever they could buy at the convenience store with the money that jack took from his sleeping mothers’ purse. when jack turned 14, and tanner 10, their mother had gotten herself a boyfriend who moved into the rosewoods’ home. he declared himself the patriarch of the household (which jack would later protest about). under his influence, the boys’ mother added meth and heroine to the list of her addictions. jack would always hide his brother from their high and unresponsive bodies, and take him to parks or to a friend’s house, secretly hoping that when they returned that one of the two adults would be dead.it was around this time that jack had won an engineering competition in his school. the prize was a big computer that someone with years of experience would consider buying - this is what started the boy’s fascination with computers. after his brother was fed and their homework had been completed, he would log into his computer and research more and more about engineering until he had discovered articles about cyber warfare. this subject turned into his passion.it wasn’t until jack turned 17 that his soon-to-be step-father got busted for possessing heroin. in the home, the investigators found that his mother was also a druggie, and that jack had taken care of his brother ever since he was 8. social workers took the siblings away from the home and put them both in foster care. tanner found a home in no time. he, however, did not leave his brother so easily. he wanted to stay with the boy who had raised him his whole life - he wanted jack to live with his new family, the townsends. however, jack knew that that wasn’t a possibility after speaking to his social worker and learning that tanner finding a family so quickly was a miracle, and that the family couldn’t fit jack into their household. as much as it broke his heart, jack understood. he was turning 18 the next summer, and knew that it was much more difficult to suddenly pay for an 18-year-old than a 13-year-old. tanner, though, didn’t see the problem. he cried and cried in the meeting room, shaking his head and throwing a tantrum in grief. jack tried to assure him that it was going to be okay, and that they would definitely see each other, just not all of the time. tanner wouldn’t have any of it. “please, please bring jack with us … please …” the boy sobbed. jack’s heart was being ripped in two. “i don’t want to be with you … unless you bring jack,”this sent jack into a panic. his brother being chosen so fast was a miracle, right? so if he turned down this family … would he be stuck in here for the rest of his teenage years? or with jack when he turns 18, barely able to find money to take care of himself? jack didn’t know what to do with his distraught brother sitting across from him at the meeting table. his neck arched so his hair covered his eyes. “go,” jack mumbled lowly. this stopped tanner’s cries. “w-what?” the younger whispered in disbelief. jack’s head snapped up to look at his brother. “you think that i want to live with you? i’ve been taking care of you ever since i knew how to multiply.” he muttered through his teeth. “…go. go to your new family.” this stunned his brother. silent tears began to fall from tanner’s cheeks. “n-no… i … but i don’t want to leave you-“ “but i want you to leave me,” jack’s voice was wavering, but strong. “leave, tanner. leave. leave … me … alone,” jack faced his own lap, not wanting tanner to see him as his eyes stung with tears. he listened to tanner’s chair squeak as he pushed it backwards, and tanner's new mother’s voice whisper for him to come with them. the door shut after the silent footsteps, and jack burst into tears. his own social worker put his hand on the boy’s shoulder as he cried. “you … you did good,” she said through tears. “i’m proud of you. i’m so, so proud of you,” her voice choked. “i’m … going to try my hardest to get you a family, okay? i’ll start that right now,” she took out her phone, and was almost immediately on a call. jack wept silently, raising his hand to his aching chest.not long after the promise, jack had been taken in by a forensic dna analyst who worked in the sexual abuse department of the local law offices. being in such a position, along with her husband who was an ultrasound specialist, they were more than able to pay for an adult-to-be’s education and all of the milestones that came with becoming an adult. embracing their new son’s passion for computers, his new mother helped him get a job at one of the offices that let jack take his skills about 10 jumps forward: hacking. he hacks into suspects’ phone records and their personal files on their computers to aide in the prosecuting process. this aspect of computers was perfectly fitting for the prankster. the immature, playful young man thrived at such a job, and earned new responsibilities such as monitoring suspects and what they do online or on the phone.he still lives comfortably with his new family, but is burdened with guilt over what he has done to his brother. for the longest time, he didn't know a thing about his brother … he contacts his social worker to ask how his case is going, since their cases were declared to be settled separately, but is too sheepish to contact tanner himself.
one night, when his new family fell asleep, and he was still working from home, his thoughts kept trailing back to tanner. jack had always told himself that he would not contact tanner first, as he understands if his brother would never want to speak to him again, but he had always prohibited himself from looking him up anywhere - just to restrain him from trying to talk to his brother. but, that night, jack's hand kept itching to go to the search bar to look up his brother on facebook. the hacker never made a facebook for himself, obviously, as a hacker knows the risk of having such an account, but he knew the layout. after darting his eyes from his work to the words "search", jack backed away and swung around as fast as his swivel chair could let him. he leaned over and held his head in his hands, holding his breath and closing his eyes. he couldn't look up tanner. what if he wasn't having a good life? how old is he now? 19? is he in college? does he have a group of friends? is his family okay? ...is he safe? jack opened his eyes. tanner had to be safe. his social workers had to make sure of that. jack's own social worker said that since tanner is an adult that she can't give him information as often as he wants to now - that she would contact him once tanner's social worker had any word. if tanner wasn't safe ... would jack work illegally to ensure the safety of his brother? should he look into tanner's phone records right now? should he listen to voicemails and look at his search history? should he -
jack's throat stung as he choked; he had held his breath for too long. he coughed into his hands in fear of waking his parents. once the coughing had passed, and he sat back into his chair to breathe properly, he stared at the ceiling to calm his mind. tanner is safe. of course he is. he's tanner. tanner was always careful and he never said anything to piss anyone off. he probably has a lot of friends, and is in some sort of music school like he always dreamed. jack turned a bit in his chair to look at his computer screen, debating whether or not to do it. he sighed and wheeled back to his desk to search "tanner townsend facebook" into his search engine.
a result. in the neighboring town.
jack would have held his breath again if it weren't for his already screaming lungs. he clicked on the familiar name, and waited for the page to load.
tanner rosewood. friends: 408. swimming instructor at the ymca. attending the local art school. in a relationship with a girl named emily myers. he has photos to show to the public. they're of him and a group of friends. smiling, holding capri suns and standing on skateboards. another picture has a girl next to tanner, it must be emily. he looks ... happy. he's wearing a sweatshirt from his college. a picture of a script with highlighted lines - tanner is in a musical. a picture of tanner with his family at his high school graduation. a picture of ...
jack couldn't see anymore. tears were too much in the way. his cheeks began to get sore from smiling. he was ... grinning. he sat back into his chair and closed his burning eyes to let his tears roll down his cheeks. tanner is okay. he's okay. he made it. he is in college - he has a girlfriend! he's happy. he has his own little squad who is goofy...just like tanner. he's so happy. he did it. he made it so far.
he made it so far ... without you.
jack shook his head, still smiling. he covered his mouth and opened his eyes again. he could feel his teeth on his palm. he stood up from his chair and walked to his door, silently opening it and slipping out of his room. he didn't mind living with his family. they had enjoyed his presence so much and ... he liked having parents. he walked into the bathroom and turned on the lights. he looked at himself in the mirror. his grin was ear to ear. his nose was red, and his cheeks were wet as his tears kept falling. he ran a hand through his hair, nearly giggling. tanner is okay. tanner is ... more than okay. jack's knees dipped and then snapped back up, making him nearly hop, as his hands clapped together. he could feel his shirt getting damp from his tears. tanner had always deserved such a future, though. he had always worked so hard ... it was honestly a blessing for jack to have a brother like him under the circumstances. he took care of a child from 4 years old, but at least he wasn't a bratty 4-year-old who threw tantrums and questioned jack's authority all the time. jack's hand reached the medicine cabinet, and with a swift pull from his fingers and dip of his wrist, he opened it and pulled out a bottle of his mother's antidepressants. he shut the cabinet and his reflection was back. it was still smiling wide, and his cheeks were just becoming wetter and wetter - the collar of his shirt had become soaked. he opened the pill bottle and dumped them all in the palm of his hand. he raised his hand to his mouth and tilted his head back, dropping the pills onto his tongue. he bent back over forwards to splash sink water into his mouth and slowly swallowed all of the pills. he stood back up and his eyes trailed to the mirror. his smile ... had completely turned upside down. his teeth were still showing, but ... he was frowning. his eyebrows had furrowed and his eyes began to squint to clear his vision. he choked back a cry. crying? but tanner is happy... he raised his hands to wipe his cheeks. his throat let out a hiccup. why can't ... why can't you be happy ... he shook his head, inhaling sharply. stop being selfish. stop being selfish. tanner is happy without you. you selfish coward! jack sunk to a squatting position, the balls of his palms pressed against his eyes. you ... didn't deserve to see him happy. look at you. did you want to see him unhappy? he fell back against the wall, his throat letting out another whimper.
tanner ... has every right to hate you.
jack couldn't hold it in anymore. a sob leapt out of his chest, and he covered his face with his forearms. his chest started to hurt as he slowly let out more and more cries. he felt his stomach churn. he heard a door open from the hallway. his vision started to enhance the lights and then completely darken over and over again. he kept on crying. he felt himself falling to the side but he never felt the floor. he found himself laying horizontally when the door to the bathroom opened. "jack ..." he started to gag. "jack!" his vision went out again. he came to to hear, "...anti-depressants, yes ... please ..." his vision went black again. he periodically heard "he's seizing," and "stay with me," but his mind, as fleeting as it was, was on tanner. it was of the picture of him and his friends on skateboards. it was of him and his girlfriend. it was of his college sweatshirt.
it was on tanner being happy.
jack rosewood now lays in a hospital bed, in a coma.
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