Into the Ruins - Exalted 3e IC

[jaydude]

"I'd much prefer to be present in some form, if words are to be exchanged with those in command of the dead," Grey Stone said. "Perhaps if I were to accompany you, but stay out of sight nearby?"

Spoiler: Grey Stone Stats

Essence: 2
Personal Essence: 01/16
Peripheral Essence: 40/40
Anima: Dim
Committed Essence: 5 (Faith's Pillar)

Willpower: 7/7
Join Battle: 5
Health Levels: -0, -1, -1, -1, -1, -1, -1, -1, -1,-1, -1, -1, -1, -1, -3, Incapacitated
Resolve 3, Guile 1

Attacks
Faith's Pillar (10 dice Withering, 8 dice Decisive, Withering Damage 18, Overwhelming 5, Bashing, Melee, Reaching, Smashing, Two-Handed)
Unarmed (13 dice Withering, 8 dice Decisive, Withering Damage 15, Overwhelming 1, Bashing, Brawl, Grappling, Natural)

Actions
Rush: 6
Disengage: 6

Evasion 4, Parry 4
Soak/Hardness: 4/0

 

[Sherwood]

Del nods. “I don’t speak for all here, and I am not going to try to stop you from joining me. By the Maidens I would feel more comfortable having you near. Let’s try to be nice and see what that gets us. Worst case we unleash the power of our Circle on them ands teach them a lesson.”

 

[Psychie]

Filial scowls and says, “All you are going to do is give them warning and ruining any surprise attack we can mount. I say kill now and loot their corpses. That sounds fine to me.” He looks around to see what kind of support he might be able to garner for his opinion.

 

[jaydude]

"As long as we keep some of our people hidden while we talk to them, we wouldn't necessarily forsake any chance to surprise them," Grey Stone replied, while silently hoping the Dawn wouldn't see violence as the first choice of action for every complication they encountered.

Spoiler: Grey Stone Stats

Essence: 2
Personal Essence: 01/16
Peripheral Essence: 40/40
Anima: Dim
Committed Essence: 5 (Faith's Pillar)

Willpower: 7/7
Join Battle: 5
Health Levels: -0, -1, -1, -1, -1, -1, -1, -1, -1,-1, -1, -1, -1, -1, -3, Incapacitated
Resolve 3, Guile 1

Attacks
Faith's Pillar (10 dice Withering, 8 dice Decisive, Withering Damage 18, Overwhelming 5, Bashing, Melee, Reaching, Smashing, Two-Handed)
Unarmed (13 dice Withering, 8 dice Decisive, Withering Damage 15, Overwhelming 1, Bashing, Brawl, Grappling, Natural)

Actions
Rush: 6
Disengage: 6

Evasion 4, Parry 4
Soak/Hardness: 4/0

 

[Purr]

Rykon

O Mighty Fat Cat nods with every opinion provided, but then asks for one whose voice has not yet been added to the whole.

"Me good friend, Aredin, is de king of social encounters!" the large and muscled Lunar grins. "You would be doing de entire situation a disservice without his company - or at least his counsel!"

 

[Eonivar]

“It has been thousands of years…”

Upon those words Maeve's world seemed to stop...her emotions twisted up inside.

Maeve opened her mouth to say something but she could not find the words. Maeve was at a loss, she did not know what to feel or say.

She drank the offered liquid, choking on it slightly for not having drank anything for some time. She carefully laid back and gazed into the ceiling as her thoughts began to flow again.

She was alive.

Thousands of years later.

Her circle was long gone. All of her friends in the village...long passed. Her sister? More than likely gone, although she felt that Raksi was too stubborn and too smart and clever to be killed, but thousands of years is a long time and the odds were not good.

The World has Changed and Changed some more. Maeve thought it could possibly be alien to her.

Alone but for the faithful God of the Titan, Taru. All connections gone other than Taru and the Titan.

Well there are other exalted. Exalted with the proper codes from thousands of years ago. Lots of questions there.

And there is a new threat that they need the Titan for...

Maeve continued to allow Taru to help her recover from the long sleep. The Lunar was quiet and did not say much if anything at all. She found herself wanting to recover faster...she wanted to be outside...to spread her wings and feel the winds again. To feel Luna's gaze upon her again. To breath the air outside of this cramped stuffy mountain. To be free again.

 

[Chowlett]

Remaining hidden near the excavating zombies, Glade takes the scene in, mentally recording every detail as he would a new tale for retelling to his villagers. He counts the zombies, as best he can when they repeatedly disappear underground. He takes note of the two - presumably - Exalts, trying to gauge their age and therefore experience. He spots the Soulsteel equipment - Abyssals then, most likely; perhaps even working for the returned Empress and her consort.

If possible, Glade will edge round so that he can look down into the excavation, to judge how deep they've got, how well they've dug, and how fast they're going. Any further intel on the Exalts would be great if he can draw any further conclusions, but staying hidden is his main priority right now. Once he's learned all he can, he returns silently to the circle.

 

[Rykon]

"As long as we keep some of our people hidden while we talk to them, we wouldn't necessarily forsake any chance to surprise them," Grey Stone replied, while silently hoping the Dawn wouldn't see violence as the first choice of action for every complication they encountered.

Spoiler: Grey Stone Stats

Essence: 2
Personal Essence: 01/16
Peripheral Essence: 40/40
Anima: Dim
Committed Essence: 5 (Faith's Pillar)

Willpower: 7/7
Join Battle: 5
Health Levels: -0, -1, -1, -1, -1, -1, -1, -1, -1,-1, -1, -1, -1, -1, -3, Incapacitated
Resolve 3, Guile 1

Attacks
Faith's Pillar (10 dice Withering, 8 dice Decisive, Withering Damage 18, Overwhelming 5, Bashing, Melee, Reaching, Smashing, Two-Handed)
Unarmed (13 dice Withering, 8 dice Decisive, Withering Damage 15, Overwhelming 1, Bashing, Brawl, Grappling, Natural)

Actions
Rush: 6
Disengage: 6

Evasion 4, Parry 4
Soak/Hardness: 4/0

Aredin stifles a grunt of frustration to think he might actually agree with Filial on this issue. "Gray Stone. If you wish to speak with them, then you, we, must have something in mind to gain from this. The odds of us being on the same team with them are exceedingly slim. So, I think there may be some merit to Filial's instinct here."

The Eclipse takes a moment to sort his thoughts before continuing with a mischievous smirk. While starting a conversation will put their opponents on alert, he is confident in their combat skills and teamwork. "However, if we do this... We need to prioritize what information we intend to get out of 'em. For anything substantial, we'll likely have to fast-talk or bargain with them as well. Have anything in mind, or would you prefer to improvise?"

 

[jaydude]

"I would ask these people who they are, what cause or master they serve, and why they seek the Titan," Grey Stone replied. "All we really know about them so far is that they have the means to make use of zombies, and one of them appears to wield Soulsteel. Incidentally, perhaps we should ask about that, if the opportunity arises."

He then considered Aredin's other words. "If a confrontation is the wisest course here, I would suggest that we try and subdue them through non-lethal means, rather than immediately assuming they should be killed. Put them at our mercy, but do nothing irreversable. Assuming they give us no cause to do otherwise, of course."

Spoiler: Grey Stone Stats

Essence: 2
Personal Essence: 01/16
Peripheral Essence: 40/40
Anima: Dim
Committed Essence: 5 (Faith's Pillar)

Willpower: 7/7
Join Battle: 5
Health Levels: -0, -1, -1, -1, -1, -1, -1, -1, -1,-1, -1, -1, -1, -1, -3, Incapacitated
Resolve 3, Guile 1

Attacks
Faith's Pillar (10 dice Withering, 8 dice Decisive, Withering Damage 18, Overwhelming 5, Bashing, Melee, Reaching, Smashing, Two-Handed)
Unarmed (13 dice Withering, 8 dice Decisive, Withering Damage 15, Overwhelming 1, Bashing, Brawl, Grappling, Natural)

Actions
Rush: 6
Disengage: 6

Evasion 4, Parry 4
Soak/Hardness: 4/0

 

[Rykon]

"I would ask these people who they are, what cause or master they serve, and why they seek the Titan," Grey Stone replied. "All we really know about them so far is that they have the means to make use of zombies, and one of them appears to wield Soulsteel. Incidentally, perhaps we should ask about that, if the opportunity arises."

He then considered Aredin's other words. "If a confrontation is the wisest course here, I would suggest that we try and subdue them through non-lethal means, rather than immediately assuming they should be killed. Put them at our mercy, but do nothing irreversable. Assuming they give us no cause to do otherwise, of course."

Spoiler: Grey Stone Stats

Essence: 2
Personal Essence: 01/16
Peripheral Essence: 40/40
Anima: Dim
Committed Essence: 5 (Faith's Pillar)

Willpower: 7/7
Join Battle: 5
Health Levels: -0, -1, -1, -1, -1, -1, -1, -1, -1,-1, -1, -1, -1, -1, -3, Incapacitated
Resolve 3, Guile 1

Attacks
Faith's Pillar (10 dice Withering, 8 dice Decisive, Withering Damage 18, Overwhelming 5, Bashing, Melee, Reaching, Smashing, Two-Handed)
Unarmed (13 dice Withering, 8 dice Decisive, Withering Damage 15, Overwhelming 1, Bashing, Brawl, Grappling, Natural)

Actions
Rush: 6
Disengage: 6

Evasion 4, Parry 4
Soak/Hardness: 4/0

"I don't think we need to think too hard about why they want the Titan... As for the rest, why would they volunteer that information? What would you offer them to get them to speak up? Assuming any of the ones we find even can..." Aredin nearly cringes in disgust at the prospect of interrogating half-rotten prisoners. Too many memories of his shadow war with the White Wraith cult come to mind for him to consider many outcomes that don't involve gratuitous violence.

"I for one, wouldn't expect a confession like 'We're here at the bidding of the surviving Mask of Winters to find a weapon capable of exacting his vengeance upon the Empress' to come so freely. For example, anyway... Whoever their master ends up being, keep in mind they are connected enough to not only know of this place, but to also have either the desperation or confidence they can activate it. We should tread lightly in what information we volunteer to get them to answer."

 

[Sherwood]

Del looks over at Aredin and says, "We have two options. We deal with this now or put it off until later. Dealing with the situation now is preferred in my book. We can either talk and see if there is any chance of working with them, or we strike first while we have the element of surprise. We can't do both, because if we try to talk and they decide to attack, we will be scrambling to get an advantage over them and win a fight. A decision needs to be made." She looks between Grey Stone and Aredin, seeing one of these two as the de facto leaders of this group, and needing an answer from one of the two quickly.

 

[Sherwood]

Upon hearing no response, Del says, “I understand that there is a desire to cooperate and work well with everyone. I just don’t see it being possible here. These two are probably Abyssal Exalted and in service to one of the great powers of the Underworld. In my time as an agent of Fate, I’ve run into an Abyssal before. He was preaching the gospel of death to a bunch of impressionable villagers, trying to drive them into their graves to get more spare parts for his master. What is the greater evil? Killing them now or working with them to attack the Ebon Dragon, then turning on them later when their master yanks their chains? It is a mercy to end them now.”

 

[Psychie]

Filial lets out a grunt. “Finally someone is talking sense. I agree with the little girl. We should deal with these interlopers now instead of later when they have the upper hand.” His hand goes to the hilt of his daiklave as he speaks, clearly ready to follow words with actions.


Eonivar

Inside the Titan, Maeve is finally feeling strong enough to rise and walk around the room under the watchful eye of Taru. With every step you can feel your strength returning, and the sluggish feeling fading away. Taru steps back with a pleased expression on her face. “You are recovering even faster than the projections showed. Quite remarkable, but I shouldn’t be surprised. Noble Exalt, you should be at 100% efficiency in less than ten minutes. Also, I should inform you that the service automations have finished clearing an exit through the debris on the outer hull. At the moment it is just large enough to accommodate a person, but the automations continue to work. Do you have any orders for me at this time?”

 

[Purr]

Aredin stifles a grunt of frustration to think he might actually agree with Filial on this issue.

So, I think there may be some merit to Filial's instinct here."

O Mighty Fat Cat raises his eyebrow as he turns toward Aredin. He missed Aredin's stifled grunt, but he did not miss his friend's words. Da Chonk's healthy bass voice rumbles in mirthful curiosity. "Aredin... Did me ears deceive me or did you just agree wit something Filial Wisdom just said?" The huge Lunar openly chuckles. "Wondas neva cease!"

A decision needs to be made." She looks between Grey Stone and Aredin, seeing one of these two as the de facto leaders of this group, and needing an answer from one of the two quickly.

In O Mighty Fat Cat's time with this Circle, he has been the voice for peace on more than one occasion. If there was an honest chance to not fight, O Mighty Fat Cat was for it unless it was clear that fighting was the best option.

The Lunar thinks back to the duel between Filial Wisdom and Delilah. It was supposed to be a duel without arms. Delilah had broken that rule, much to Filial Wisdom's chagrin. This had taught Da Chonk that Delilah was not a very careful person - even though she might think otherwise. It was a small but notable mistake, for it was one the Lunar could not imagine anyone in his Circle honestly making.

(O.O.C.: At this time, Fat Cat doesn't see Filial Wisdom or Delilah as part of his Circle. They haven't earned that privilege.)

Whoever their master ends up being, keep in mind they are connected enough to not only know of this place, but to also have either the desperation or confidence they can activate it. We should tread lightly in what information we volunteer to get them to answer."

Da Chonk sees here that Aredin, ever a man of caution, appears to also be unsure of whether or not violence is the way against these... Abyssals.

If possible, Glade will edge round so that he can look down into the excavation, to judge how deep they've got, how well they've dug, and how fast they're going. Any further intel on the Exalts would be great if he can draw any further conclusions, but staying hidden is his main priority right now. Once he's learned all he can, he returns silently to the circle.

Silent Glade, the one who had the best eyes and ears on the scene, had not yet returned. O Mighty Fat Cat is far from concerned for the sneaking Solar's health, for Glade knew stealth like Da Chonk knew shapeshifting. But the longer he is gone, the more O Mighty Fat Cat finds himself longing for Glade's voice in this matter.

He then considered Aredin's other words. "If a confrontation is the wisest course here, I would suggest that we try and subdue them through non-lethal means, rather than immediately assuming they should be killed. Put them at our mercy, but do nothing irreversable. Assuming they give us no cause to do otherwise, of course."

It comes as no surprise to the peaceful Lunar that he should agree so well with Grey Stone. His was a wise, mighty, and restrained fist if there ever was one as far as Da Chonk is concerned. "'Irreversible' indeed," O Mighty Fat Cat nods. "Once we draw steel on dem, dere is no putting de sword away, for de damage has been done."

Upon hearing no response, Del says, “I understand that there is a desire to cooperate and work well with everyone. I just don’t see it being possible here. These two are probably Abyssal Exalted and in service to one of the great powers of the Underworld. In my time as an agent of Fate, I’ve run into an Abyssal before. He was preaching the gospel of death to a bunch of impressionable villagers, trying to drive them into their graves to get more spare parts for his master. What is the greater evil? Killing them now or working with them to attack the Ebon Dragon, then turning on them later when their master yanks their chains? It is a mercy to end them now.”

O Mighty Fat Cat narrows his eyes. His tone is rich with curiosity. "In all of your time, you met one Abyssal, you say? And to you, his wickedness taints all of his kind?" The Lunar's facial features scrunch up in disbelief. This was not enough for him to be swayed.

Fat Cat has not run into any of the Abyssal Exalted before, and has only heard stories. They are not necessarily evil, but they are servants of the Underworld and preach the ways of ancestor worship and the peace of the grave. Power-wise, they can be the equal of any Solar out there.

"I have only heard tales of dese people - I remain unconvinced Abyssals are wicked to de last. I have heard dey believe in ancestor worship and de peace of de grave. So... you go runnin' in beatin' an' killin' wittout betta evidence, you go in wittout me." O Mighty Fat Cat fold his mighty arms and shakes his head. "You say all Abyssals are wicked because you seen one. By your own argument, I should not trust Sidereals because you made what you called an honest mistake during your duel wit Filial Wisdom, yes? When you used your weapon when no weapons were promised. I ask you. You thus wish me to believe all Sidereals are guilty of your lone error? I am to treat dem all de same?" Again, Da Chonk shakes his head.

"De actions of one do not dictate de intentions of all."

Psychie Chowlett Da Chonk looks back in the direction where he last saw Silent Glade. "I am wishin' to know what Silent Glade has to say. If I am to go unleashin' me fangs an' claws, usin' de gifts Oh Blessed Luna trusts me wit... den I further require his counsel in dis matter." Da Chonk grins. "Silent Glade often sees tings we do not, an' by de Shining Moon, he has not done any of us wrong yet!"

 

[Eonivar]

Maeve had emerged from the warm and steamy bathing pool back to her dark recovery room with Taru, dressed in a simple and layered black robe with grey leggings and long sleeved shirt underneath, the robe had silver lined sleaves and markings. She wore simple and unremarkable boots. The No-Moon Lunar woman in her born form, was tall and with a slight build, with dark raven black hair short in a pixie cute, and olive skin. She had wide dark brown almost black eyes.

She donned her moonsilver inlaid cloak that was blacker than the darkness of the room and if one looked long enough into the cloak, one could see the constellations of the stars above at midnight. Maeve glanced around the now clear and brightened room since her cloak enabled her to see clearly in any darkness. She then took the moonsilver dire whip that she favored, swinging about like a ribbon and cracking it a few times, before coiling it with a flick of her wrist and putting it on the loop on her belt.

Despite Taru's presence this place felt so very quiet to her, unusually quiet. She was used to have the others here, sounds of habitation, working, talking..the smell of cooking...working of magic or crafting something. But now there was nothing. It bothered her. Normally she loved quiet. But in this place...it should not be quiet. Thousands of years gone. Better focus on the here and now.

She looked back at Taru in response the gods statement.

"Taru what is our current situation and status? Is the Titan operational? Is there anything I should be aware of right now? Also tell me of these other exalted, what is their composition? Who they are or appear to be. And do you have a theory on how they acquired the codes after thousands of years? I thought it was only our Circle that had the codes. And I thought the codes died with them. Anyway..where are these exalted right now? Are they coming here? Do you think we can trust them? They are not dragonblooded, are they?"

The last statement had a hint of venom in it. A dark hatred caught her by surprise, the cries of battle filled her mind again..the rage rose. She shut her eyes and balled her fists. The doors that went into the recovery room started to vibrate and shake slightly, until she took a deep breath and looked back expectantly...the shaking subsided.

 

[Psychie]

"Taru what is our current situation and status? Is the Titan operational? Is there anything I should be aware of right now? Also tell me of these other exalted, what is their composition? Who they are or appear to be. And do you have a theory on how they acquired the codes after thousands of years? I thought it was only our Circle that had the codes. And I thought the codes died with them. Anyway..where are these exalted right now? Are they coming here? Do you think we can trust them? They are not dragonblooded, are they?"

Taru is silent for a moment as she processes the request. “The Titan is currently in hibernation mode with only the bare minimum of power draw on the reactor core to keep the citadel airborne. Reactor power must be restored to at least 60% in order to enable mobility and until the debris in the hull is removed top speed will be limited. All outer defense turrets are off line until the hull is cleared, and the Essence shield is off line until the reactor power output is increased.”

Pausing again, Taru stares off into space as the spirit thinks. “There are currently three groups of Exalted on the fortress exterior. The first group consists of sixteen Dragon Blooded. They appear to be a part of a population of two thousand and thirty one mortals that are currently living on the exterior of the Titan. The second group are the Exalts that initiated the revival procedure of your stasis chamber. This group consists of a Lunar, a Sidereal and four Solars. They are also the Exalts that have them operating codes. These Exalts are in close proximity to the third group that appears to be three corrupted Solar Exaltations. I have never encountered any Exalted like these before.”

 

[Chowlett]

Having learned all he can, Glade quietly makes his way back to his circle, to find a hushed argument going on. "Two Exalts" he says, when there is a break in conversation. "Abyssal, from what I can see. A sizable number of undead servants" - he says this with disgust and disdain - "conscripted to dig; they will not tire of doing so. The younger female exalt seems to be in charge; she has raised the zombies and is eager to see them dig. The older male appears disinterested. Maybe a bodyguard? Both are armed as befits their exaltation."

 

[jaydude]

Grey Stone gave a grim nod at Glade's report. “Very well. We confront them as potential foes,” he said, feeling the discussion had gone on long enough. “If they're willing to stand down and be reasonable, we show them reason in turn. But I will restrain myself from lethal force unless they give me reason to do otherwise.”

 

[Purr]

But I will restrain myself from lethal force unless they give me reason to do otherwise.”

"As will I," O Mighty Fat Cat adds, deferring to Grey Stone's wisdom and experience.

He smiles at Glade's return. "Glade, I hope you don't mind me backing off when we saw de Abyssals. I thought I would only get in your way."

 

[Eonivar]

Taru is silent for a moment as she processes the request. “The Titan is currently in hibernation mode with only the bare minimum of power draw on the reactor core to keep the citadel airborne. Reactor power must be restored to at least 60% in order to enable mobility and until the debris in the hull is removed top speed will be limited. All outer defense turrets are off line until the hull is cleared, and the Essence shield is off line until the reactor power output is increased.”

Pausing again, Taru stares off into space as the spirit thinks. “There are currently three groups of Exalted on the fortress exterior. The first group consists of sixteen Dragon Blooded. They appear to be a part of a population of two thousand and thirty one mortals that are currently living on the exterior of the Titan. The second group are the Exalts that initiated the revival procedure of your stasis chamber. This group consists of a Lunar, a Sidereal and four Solars. They are also the Exalts that have them operating codes. These Exalts are in close proximity to the third group that appears to be three corrupted Solar Exaltations. I have never encountered any Exalted like these before.”

Maeve's face took a look of surprise and horror at Taru's report.

"Corrupted Solars? How in Creation is that even possible? Why would the Unconquered Sun allow his children to be corrupted, who could possess such power to corrupt them. It's terrifying to think of what such beings can do. I suspect they may be a threat just by their nature? They definitely bear investigation."

Meave turned her mind to the others. "Four solars, a sidereal, and a lunar. I am unsure of what to make of them, I have no idea as to the state of this world now, but given one is also a chosen of Luna, I will give them the benefit of the doubt."

Maeve sighed. "I suppose its been too long for anything to matter any more. Gods even change in thousands of years, even you are different Taru than I remember for the last time we spoke, before I left with Enki to visit the Deliberative at Maru right before we were betrayed. "

Maeve shook her head. "l am going to go outside and meet these exalts and investigate these corrupted Solars. Continue with the repairs and clearing the entrances but do try and keep these corrupted ones away if we can.." Meave started to move towards the exit to the main hall before she turned. "...oh and Taru.." she waited for the god to look at her. "Thank you for watching over me and taking care of me...I know Enki was always very demanding with you, and he would never admit to how much he needed you and relied on you. He could be like that, especially when I was not around. But I am glad you are here still, a familiar face after everyone else is now gone. I shall hopefully return shortly, if anything happens send a message, I will do the same."

Maeve navigated the concourse of the Titan, to her yesterday was thousands of years ago. The Titan had not changed, although she could see where it had been damaged over the years. She reached one of the exits to see it covered in rock but for a sliver of morning light shining through one side that had been cleared. Two large lumbering automatons continued to remove the rubble blocking the exit.

Maeve stepped up to the sliver of morning light shining in and reached her hand out in it, feeling the suns warmth and watching the reflection of the light on her hand. She then looked up and took a deep breath and stepped out. It was blinding at first but her vision readjusted and she saw the mountains and hills of green forests all around. The world was different and yet it seemed the same to her. A warm breeze blew across her face, she heard the leaves of the trees around her blow in the wind. This was a different place then she remembered the Titan being last but she knew it had been moved while they had held off the armies of Dragonblooded so it could be moved to a secret place, this place.

The wind called her, she had been anxious to fly again, and she stepped forward, her body changing into a raven, her spirit form, and flying high into the sky above the floating mountain. She saw and smelt the hearth fires of the village in the distance on the other side of the massive mountain that was the Titan. She then looked down seeking the presence of the Exalted that had enabled her awakening and these 'corrupted solars', her black wings gliding on the air currents around the mountain.

 

[Chowlett]

"As will I," O Mighty Fat Cat adds, deferring to Grey Stone's wisdom and experience.

He smiles at Glade's return. "Glade, I hope you don't mind me backing off when we saw de Abyssals. I thought I would only get in your way."

Glade simply nods at the big Lunar's consideration, but then adds: "You yourself make little noise for one so large. Like the jungle cats with whom you share both name and shape. I would gladly hunt alongside you."

 

[Purr]

Glade simply nods at the big Lunar's consideration, but then adds: "You yourself make little noise for one so large. Like the jungle cats with whom you share both name and shape. I would gladly hunt alongside you."

"A fine compliment, me friend! Jus' be careful you don't hunt and eat too much, " he pats his huge Buddha-belly, "or else you wind up lookin' like me! Heh heh!"

Spoiler: O.O.C.

I am adding this GIF for no other reason save that it involves a cat and it's super-cute!