IF! (Interactive fiction)

[Scattered Ambitions]

Here's a link to my IF story I'm currently working on.


Feedback would be much appreciated.


http://writer.inklestudios.com/stories/wzxv

 

[Scattered Ambitions]

Bipity-bump

 

[Catnapper]

Hm, it's interesting. I like the idea, but I've got a couple points to make about it.

1. The beginning is very quick, there's not much description. To make the reader want to keep going, I'd describe what's going on. Based on how you've worded it, I'm gonna assume this is someone getting some sort of amnesia 'attack', without realizing it and having to work out what's going on. If so, you need to make it more obvious. If this happened to the character, they'd be startled, confused, and they'd be looking for answers. They would probably be examining where they are, looking for clues as to what's happened.
   
2. You need to slow it down a bit. At first, the atmosphere tells the reader there's probably a ghost or something, and this is just an extract. But then, the pace changes. The reader has no idea what's happening to the character. If this isn't what I described, it'll be hard to let the reader choose their past. You need to give backstory and/or points about the character before you jump straight into the story.
   

So, it's an interesting start, but it's very confusing and startling for the reader. It's hard to work out what's going on in it.

 

[Dusky]

I definitely think the character needs to see more of the setting earlier on and get a better feel for their place in said setting.


I'm very happy to see interactive fiction cropping up here, though~