Idea
The Pun Tyrant
I used to lead in conversations. I used to be the guy brainstorming left an right and strolling partners along with my ideas, even if they weren´t contirbuting themselves, and often still ended up having to jumble a whole bunch together just to see if I could get a nice slice of my ideas. I used to be the kind of person who wouldn´t go to the discussion forums without leaving behind several paragraphs of hopefully helpful advise and healthy criticism. I used to the be the kind of person leaping from status to status commenting on everything, the kind of guy who´d be willing to sit there and listen to people discuss their problems all day, who makes gigantic worldbuilding and handles dozens of characters in each of dozens of detailed RPs, watched two anime in one day, added my work to that, wrote stuff on the side and even started a blog...
...perhaps I bit more than I could chew. No, I did for certain. Many times over. But there was more to this time´s.
Now, I go several days without replying to simple planning PMs. Actual RP posts? Weeks sometimes. The threads I was GMing, all dead. Half my discussion posts are two liners. I haven´t made the second blog entry yet. I can barely focus, but even youtube bores me now. And let´s not even get started on work... Even typing is taking my fingers convincing.
Frankly I feel ashamed. While I did make sure to be clear on the fact that my schedule was weird, I never imagined it going to this point. I feel broken. I feel like I´m betraying the people I compromised with and with my own ideals and beliefs on top of it all. I never felt like this before, though if I may be honest, there were times when I thought about quitting RPnation and didn´t because I didn´t want to spoil the fun for anyone whose grouped I happened to be included in, more or less. Yet ultimately when all was said and done I always did enjoy RPN and those periods of doubts always ended. I always thought I´d just be that active indefintely.
But if I drag this too much, I will feel like I´m cheating everyone. Continually making promises of being there and not being able to keep them, while the stress of everything gets me litterally sick (I don´t handle stress well), with work and everything else that needs to be done.
Anyway, I am not trying to be an attention grabber or anything, I just wanted to put my honest feelings out there in an attempt to clarify why I am going in a hiatus for a couple months. I will still be around, trying to answer PMs that I can (and are easy to answer), and keeping up with my daily site greetings and happy birthdays, but I need rest. And time to focus. RPN isn´t the only thing I´going on a hiatus for and frankly, when I get back (and I WILL) , it will be time for some spring...well, summer cleaning about my time management.
I will probably make a very rare occasional post on RPs that don´t kick me out, but only those that I already am in.
Thank you for reading this and my deepest apologies as well!
...perhaps I bit more than I could chew. No, I did for certain. Many times over. But there was more to this time´s.
Now, I go several days without replying to simple planning PMs. Actual RP posts? Weeks sometimes. The threads I was GMing, all dead. Half my discussion posts are two liners. I haven´t made the second blog entry yet. I can barely focus, but even youtube bores me now. And let´s not even get started on work... Even typing is taking my fingers convincing.
Frankly I feel ashamed. While I did make sure to be clear on the fact that my schedule was weird, I never imagined it going to this point. I feel broken. I feel like I´m betraying the people I compromised with and with my own ideals and beliefs on top of it all. I never felt like this before, though if I may be honest, there were times when I thought about quitting RPnation and didn´t because I didn´t want to spoil the fun for anyone whose grouped I happened to be included in, more or less. Yet ultimately when all was said and done I always did enjoy RPN and those periods of doubts always ended. I always thought I´d just be that active indefintely.
But if I drag this too much, I will feel like I´m cheating everyone. Continually making promises of being there and not being able to keep them, while the stress of everything gets me litterally sick (I don´t handle stress well), with work and everything else that needs to be done.
Anyway, I am not trying to be an attention grabber or anything, I just wanted to put my honest feelings out there in an attempt to clarify why I am going in a hiatus for a couple months. I will still be around, trying to answer PMs that I can (and are easy to answer), and keeping up with my daily site greetings and happy birthdays, but I need rest. And time to focus. RPN isn´t the only thing I´going on a hiatus for and frankly, when I get back (and I WILL) , it will be time for some spring...well, summer cleaning about my time management.
I will probably make a very rare occasional post on RPs that don´t kick me out, but only those that I already am in.
Thank you for reading this and my deepest apologies as well!
