Human Candy Body Parts

[kibou]

I look into the bag beside me


I stare into its depths


My eyes search the candy


For what I love best


I spot them soon enough


And my delight is ten-fold


In my hands I now hold


Human candy body parts


But oh, oh no


There's only three


I sigh, and stare at my


Human candy body parts


I suppose I should put them back


For if I eat them all now, there will be no more


No more human candy body parts


And what shall I do when there's no more?


Die, probably


At the very least I shall cry


Probably


So I put them back


My human candy body parts


The ear and two fingers, made of delicious looking gummy


What a sad, sad existence I lead


Where there's only three


Three human candy body parts

 

[Grey]

...so do you want feedback, or is this intended to be an amusing diversion?

 

[kibou]

Well, it's certainly not supposed to be completely serious.

 

[Grey]

It can be hard to tell, sometimes. I have made the mistake of expressing my amusement at things people have written with great seriousness indeed.


That said, even as a joke it doesn't really work. You might be better served picking a classic form or emulating Poe - get really over-wrought and ridiculous with it. Oh, riff on Byron, maybe.

 

[kibou]

Oh, yeah I know what you mean.


That would be a really awkward situation to be in.


I don't do poetry often at all and this poem was made because I was procrastinating on school work, but if I do decide to do more I'll keep that in mind. Thanks!

 

[Grey]

No worries. I always tell people who decide to seriously write poetry the same thing - study poetry. If you're only mucking about with it my feedback isn't likely to be of much use, most of the time.