How Tragic is 'Too Tragic'?

[ganymede]

I was scrolling through the recently posted thread about pet peeves in RPs, and one thing I saw a lot was 'tragic backstories'. I agree, too an extent; not everyone is an orphan who seems to have a curse that just autokills everyone they care about remotely.


But the question comes where we draw the line; how tragic is too tragic?


I honestly think that, really, most people have some form of 'tragic' backstory. Very, very few people have perfect families with 2.5 kids and both parents who are perfectly loving. Everyone I know that I'm close enough with has/has had some sort of struggle.


In short, I don't mind it when people have tragic backstories, as long as it's not exaggerated and/or doesn't affect them now.


In example, abusive parents is a common tragic backstory for characters. But abuse leads to a lot of things, and this needs to be researched. Trust issues, a tendency to be abused/become abusive, lack of any sort of self esteem, for example, are all common things. An abuse victim is not going to be well adjusted without years of therapy.


As long as a character is well thought out and clearly affected by their backstory, they're fine with me.


tl;dr - at one point does a tragic backstory make a character unbelievable for you?

 

[Archie]

There isn't such a thing as too tragic! Really tragic backstories exist, it's about how the character deals with them. If you make a character that moves on, gets over it, and gets stronger, facing the ghosts of the past as the RP goes on or before, then people like that character a lot. But if you make a character that keeps talking about how bad things are, it's like reading Bran chapters in Game of Thrones where ever other sentence mentions hes a cripple: just like with antisocial characters, people don't have a problem with the background in the past, but more with how the character treats other characters or acts in the RP.


There can be terrible backstories to people, but a trick I found always works just in case is to make them not seem like dramatic births of the son of god or something. There was a time years ago when everyone played tragic heroes, but the tragic backgrounds I've seen that nobody complains about are the ones where it's just like "well this stuff was bad, but now even if it haunts him/her he/she is living a new life", because you know, that's how 95% of people are who go through tough stuff: it lives with them, but they don't say it to everyone they meet all the time. So I'm with you in that it's not the tragedy that gets people annoyed, but how the RPer spins it

 

[Kyubey]

At what point does a tragic backstory make a character unbelievable for you?

When the tragedies described or revealed as the character's backstory have no relevance or impact on the character's psychology, how the character acts, or how the character is written.


I am a huge fan of writing terrible things happen to my characters! I probably have a 5:2 ratio of Horrible Things to Decent Things. And when horrible things happen, the worse they are, the more they matter. Mostly these horrible things happen so I can remain interested in my character, as opposed to having The Coolest Character. I think a huge pitfall when you are a new roleplayer is that you very, very seriously try to have The Coolest Character with the Strongest Powers and the Saddest Backstory and the Best Looks, but these incidents are part of one's writing evolution, so to speak, and not quite as relevant to the quandary of, 'My character has supposedly been through horrible trauma but literally nothing in the writing reflects or acknowledges that [outside novelty]."

 

[Idea]

I usually work my character`s around the plot, and not otherwise, so my view on the subject is that a character`s backstory is fine as long as it properly fluent. If I see parents getting killed for the sake of making the story tragic, then it`s a big red flag of laziness. On the other hand, if I see the tragic elements fitting in the other events, having a proper reason to be there, then it`s fine with me. Of course, this will limit things in terms of tragedy, since there`s only so tragic you can get before it`s irrealistically sadistic.


As for how the tragedy is dealt with, I`d say it has to do with the character you`re rping. Some people are capable of moving on fine, others will be obcessed about it. The important here is to be consistent: You either are decided have the character think about nothing else or you choose to have them ignore it or somewhere in between, but once the point is chosen, it shouldn`t waver.

 

[The One Called X]

To me, a backstory is too tragic when it's not really tragic at all.


You can have somebody whose parents, dog, sister, and half-cousin twice removed all died, leaving them to get bounced around from abusive foster family to abusive foster family only to end up with a lovely, perfect foster family who then die as well leaving them to return to abuse after experiencing false hope; and also there is some rape in there somewhere and they also blame themself for all the deathrape. (As an aside, am I the only one who gets really really irritated upon seeing rape-as-backstory used as a quick-n-easy sympathy/"depth" generator for a character? That shit is serious and you better either handle it maturely and respectfully and DO SOME DAMN RESEARCH or go the black comedy route which in all honesty still needs to be done with some respect and subtlety so you don't come across as a doucheface.)


If you just throw all that at your reader's face, it's not really tragic. We don't empathize with characters because stuff happens to them, we empathize because we get in their heads and understand how they understand it. I'm not going to care about their suffering unless I care about them, and I'm not going to care about them if they're just traipsing along trailing their sad backstory behind them like some sort of Sadness Balloon.


The fact of the matter is, tragedy can be subtle. You don't have to tack on every awful thing you can think of. Tragedy can be such a terribly compact thing. Alcoholic parents don't have to be abusive to create pain- maybe they struggled with their problem and eventually succumbed to the complications it can cause- does your character feel guilty, perhaps, that they didn't do enough to help? Angry at their parent for being unable to rise above their weakness? Afraid of meeting the same fate? Families don't have to be horribly abusive to be broken. Maybe your character's parents never really wanted kids, and your character was an accident and knows it. Maybe one parent walked out. Maybe nothing happened at all, and things are just breaking and nobody knows how to fix them.


The smallest things can have the biggest impacts on somebody's life. If you can't take an ordinary backstory and make it compelling, you're not going to have any more luck with one that's superficially worse.


And I'm sorry if this is nonsensical and disorganized, I'm tired and my uterus is having its monthly tantrum. I vaguely remember having a point...

 

[ganymede]

[QUOTE="The One Called X]To me, a backstory is too tragic when it's not really tragic at all.
You can have somebody whose parents, dog, sister, and half-cousin twice removed all died, leaving them to get bounced around from abusive foster family to abusive foster family only to end up with a lovely, perfect foster family who then die as well leaving them to return to abuse after experiencing false hope; and also there is some rape in there somewhere and they also blame themself for all the deathrape. (As an aside, am I the only one who gets really really irritated upon seeing rape-as-backstory used as a quick-n-easy sympathy/"depth" generator for a character? That shit is serious and you better either handle it maturely and respectfully and DO SOME DAMN RESEARCH or go the black comedy route which in all honesty still needs to be done with some respect and subtlety so you don't come across as a doucheface.)


If you just throw all that at your reader's face, it's not really tragic. We don't empathize with characters because stuff happens to them, we empathize because we get in their heads and understand how they understand it. I'm not going to care about their suffering unless I care about them, and I'm not going to care about them if they're just traipsing along trailing their sad backstory behind them like some sort of Sadness Balloon.


The fact of the matter is, tragedy can be subtle. You don't have to tack on every awful thing you can think of. Tragedy can be such a terribly compact thing. Alcoholic parents don't have to be abusive to create pain- maybe they struggled with their problem and eventually succumbed to the complications it can cause- does your character feel guilty, perhaps, that they didn't do enough to help? Angry at their parent for being unable to rise above their weakness? Afraid of meeting the same fate? Families don't have to be horribly abusive to be broken. Maybe your character's parents never really wanted kids, and your character was an accident and knows it. Maybe one parent walked out. Maybe nothing happened at all, and things are just breaking and nobody knows how to fix them.


The smallest things can have the biggest impacts on somebody's life. If you can't take an ordinary backstory and make it compelling, you're not going to have any more luck with one that's superficially worse.


And I'm sorry if this is nonsensical and disorganized, I'm tired and my uterus is having its monthly tantrum. I vaguely remember having a point...

[/QUOTE]
This is a really nice look at it, actually. I think I get what you mean, and I couldn't agree more. If you just throw out tragedy after tragedy, it doesn't create a reaction anymore. It's like... Oh great. Yet another parent, dead. Never saw that coming, huh? But seeing something fall apart slowly or having quiet tragedy can be compelling, and the effects of the backstory can be effective in creating depth when subtle. Sometimes small things stick with us that change us forever, and sometimes there just aren't a lot of huge things that occur.


When I'm writing a backstory, I'm constantly thinking of how it affects their personality, and what personality I've already envisioned. An emotionally detached character, for example, might have developed detachment as a coping mechanism, or maybe their parents were uncaring towards them and they never learned how to be affectionate. A shy character might have parents who fight a lot, so they try to stay out of the way to not cause any fights. A brash and bold character may be making up for an absent parent. What's most important to me is making a realistic, well thought-out character. I have a tendency to over-analyze myself and think about how things that have happened to me have helped make me the way I am, so I guess that reflects itself in my character creating.

 

[Sunbather]

I don't think there's such a thing as too tragic. Unless it's in terms of quantity. It can be overdone, definitely. Though, I don't think the tragedy itself can be too much. I should add that I think this also depends on the world the RP is in. A world where everything is potentially lethal and it's hard to survive will allow for more death and despair, without it seeming overdone or cheesy, whereas someone living in, I don't know, Rome or California probably has a rather averagly sad life, and a ton of deaths and suffering may seem forced.

 

[Ursus]

Ask yourself. "Why is this tragedy important to my character?" When people complain about tragic backstories, they generally have in mind tragedy for the sake of sympathy for their character. You know, the archetypical Mary-Sue, good at everything, good to everyone, but a social pariah. If you're reading the character roll and find yourself wondering which character had it worse, congratulations, somebody is aiming for wanton tragedy.


I think tragedy is best used In Character, where it can have an actual impact on the plot. Its always gratifying to see someone play a character who loses a major conflict in the story and concedes to the desires and thoughts of another player.

 

[Dagfinn]

I think 'how tragic' depends GREATLY on the RP type.


For simplicity you can take for example a Realistic RP. When it comes to that, I don't like to make the story more tragic than my own life history. I usually make it on par, or less.


Of course that can't work for everyone, some people do have the luck of coming from really good homes. When it comes to that, I find it more annoying to reuse the same old character tropes and cliches than it is for the backstory being tragic.


Like saying the tragedy is being an orphan, that is used in writing far too much. [iMO]

 

[Daiagnosis]

Honestly, it depends too much on the setting of the roleplay. In some roleplays inspired by Tokyo Ghoul or anything dark like there, there seems to be no limit to the tragedy that can occur. Though if it's a relatively happy, upbeat roleplay, you wouldn't want to venture out of the average things that happen to people, such as the loss of a grandparent, a mild accident, you know, things that eventually everyone experiences or virtually everyone has already experienced. And if their grandparents died before their birth, maybe you could make it so your character constantly thinks about what it would've been like to meet them. Though it isn't exactly sad, it is indeed bittersweet.

 

[Sleipnir]

I only have problems with tragedy. For me, it only becomes a problem when you beg for attention. I've been apart of RPGs where characters just simply will not stop sulking over their past, even while advancing the plot. They do not put their personal problems aside to focus on the main objective, even when they don't drag everyone down — always, they're thinking about it.


I admit I have a character with such a backstory. His father died, though it is unclear whether it is suicide or murder. Then his sister his murdered and finally, he is murdered himself and is grounded to the world by emotion in the form of a ghost/poltergeist. (Same guy responsible for all three; not just horribly unlucky coincidence.) However, the character doesn't ever sulk about it. He doesn't play the "fix by love" game and he sure as hell doesn't want your pity. He doesn't tak about it, he doesn't reference it — it was traumatic and so he buries it in a way.

 

[Gilzar]

This is a really good question.


As you've already figured out, tragic backstories are extremely popular in roleplaying...everywhere! In every roleplay I bet you there is at least one semi-tragic backstory, or one that is about to become tragic. This is because of the simple fact that these characters are much more interesting to pay as because they make better 'hero/heroine' material. Just think about it, would you rather have Joe Schmo from the perfect loving family where everything is perfect getting involved in some kind of heist because he simply wants the thrill of it, or would you want someone with a neglected background who's gotten in with the wrong people and needs that money from the vault to get out of this neck-deep water he's in. Catch my drift?


Personally I don't think there's such a thing as too tragic, because I've actually met people whose lives are extremely tragic. However, I do agree with you extremely that some research should be done on the psychological effects of such things on a person, and that if things have been mentally worked out they should state why. Personally I like putting in the devastating trauma's that tragedy can put onto a person, after all one of my favorite character was very much abused during her childhood, and another was exposed to the devastating horrors of war!

 

[Kylesar1]

For me, it depends entirely on a few factors:

1. How tragic each incident is
   
2. How many tragic incidents there are
   
3. How much each tragic incident molds the character's personality
   
4. Any psychological conditions.
   

I've seen some backstories where a million things happen to them. The unrealistic thing about it is that there's zero effect on their personality. They all walk around perfectly fine. Their backstory is never even subtly mentioned within the RP


Psychological conditions are extremely rare in my experience, but I've never seen someone pull it out. No matter what it is and how easy (relatively) it's supposed to be pulled off, it can't be pulled off right. It's literally just there on the CS