Advice/Help How does one properly express interest in response to a 1x1 search thread?

[Cormorant]

So, this is something that's been bothering me for a while. I think I come on too strongly when responding to 1x1 search threads via PM, in all the wrong ways. I feel I have to immediately grab the person's attention, so I end up jumping right in and hurling out any potential ideas I have. Inadvertently, I end up steering the conversation and sometimes it feels like my partner becomes more closed off / turned away as a result. I like to pepper my ideas with lots of questions to get a feel for what they want when plot hooks are kind of vague, but reading my messages back, I can see how I can come off as a bit interrogational*... It isn't so much my tone of voice, but the sheer frequency of questions (2-4 per response).

So other than info explicitly requested in the search thread, is there an unspoken etiquette to what kind of information you should provide when you are responding to a search?
Also, search thread posters out there, how do you prefer to get to know a potential RP partner? Any tips to achieve a nice back-and-forth when you are in the planning stages?
And how and when do you end the planning stages for a 1x1?

(There goes my tendency again ._.)

*EDIT: Typo

 

[Lioness075]

I know that I have intimidated people with how much pre-planning I want to do for a 1x1 RP in the past, so Idk how much advice I can offer. XD

But I know that my first message always opens up with me referring to their interest thread and simply introducing myself as well as telling them which specific type of RP I have interest in doing with them. Then usually we go back and forth on the specifics. But again, I tend to scare people away with how much planning I want to do before we actually get into the RP and then we never even start the RP.

I also suck at planning stories for the long run and maintaining a plot, so I rely heavily on others to provide that. I can usually come up with plot twists and smaller things, but not a huge overarching plot to follow.

 

[Jace Quin]

I am a die hard 1x1er (got over group roleplays way back when because the reply lag killed me) and I have had a fair number of search threads in my day.

In my experience I have rarely had people come on too strong. More often I think the opposite might be true where people are indecisive or want to leave everything up to their partner. When I have people bring me ideas in their very first message that does interest me and in general the way that you described your style I think would work for me. If you want to soften your questions a little try to give them an encouraging tone instead of bluntly asking. 'I was hoping you might have some thoughts about this aspect of the roleplay.' 'I wanted to get your input on this.' 'In a similar roleplay in the past we did something like this but I'm not sure that worked- how would you have done it differently?'

I think the most important thing (other than what might be specifically requested) is to show them that you paid attention to their post and read it thoroughly. Some people will even bury passphrases or other 'attention checks' in long posts to see if you are paying attention and even if they don't do that nobody wants to scurry to their inbox or thread eager to read a new message only to find that the respondent blatantly did not read what they wrote. I, for example, am not into 'slice of life' so if someone came to me with that as their proposed idea I would be disappointed. A particularly bitter faux pas when you're trying to find people with whom you are going to exchange a lot of (possibly long) pieces of writing. Find a way to show them you really read what they were asking for by listing compatible genres or asking question to clarify their preferences or complementing a post sample or character description.

As far as how you might format it I think the template for a cover letter would be a surprisingly apt one to follow. Typically you start with an introduction telling them who you are and how you learned they were looking for more roleplays. Move on to tell them why you think you'll be good roleplay partners. Explain your experience and style, tell them the tiniest bit about yourself, list some general things that you are interested in as well as a few specific ideas if something is really getting your motor going at the moment (but lead with the broader ones so that if the specific ideas don't hit their mark your potential partner has a good opening for a counter-proposal for a different genre perhaps). End with a 'call to action' to reply to you, pm back, 'looking forward to getting started', 'hope to hear from you soon'. In short: Introduce, Explain Why We're Going to Make Magic, Call to Action

 

[Cormorant]

I am a die hard 1x1er (got over group roleplays way back when because the reply lag killed me) and I have had a fair number of search threads in my day.

In my experience I have rarely had people come on too strong. More often I think the opposite might be true where people are indecisive or want to leave everything up to their partner. When I have people bring me ideas in their very first message that does interest me and in general the way that you described your style I think would work for me. If you want to soften your questions a little try to give them an encouraging tone instead of bluntly asking. 'I was hoping you might have some thoughts about this aspect of the roleplay.' 'I wanted to get your input on this.' 'In a similar roleplay in the past we did something like this but I'm not sure that worked- how would you have done it differently?'

I think the most important thing (other than what might be specifically requested) is to show them that you paid attention to their post and read it thoroughly. Some people will even bury passphrases or other 'attention checks' in long posts to see if you are paying attention and even if they don't do that nobody wants to scurry to their inbox or thread eager to read a new message only to find that the respondent blatantly did not read what they wrote. I, for example, am not into 'slice of life' so if someone came to me with that as their proposed idea I would be disappointed. A particularly bitter faux pas when you're trying to find people with whom you are going to exchange a lot of (possibly long) pieces of writing. Find a way to show them you really read what they were asking for by listing compatible genres or asking question to clarify their preferences or complementing a post sample or character description.

As far as how you might format it I think the template for a cover letter would be a surprisingly apt one to follow. Typically you start with an introduction telling them who you are and how you learned they were looking for more roleplays. Move on to tell them why you think you'll be good roleplay partners. Explain your experience and style, tell them the tiniest bit about yourself, list some general things that you are interested in as well as a few specific ideas if something is really getting your motor going at the moment (but lead with the broader ones so that if the specific ideas don't hit their mark your potential partner has a good opening for a counter-proposal for a different genre perhaps). End with a 'call to action' to reply to you, pm back, 'looking forward to getting started', 'hope to hear from you soon'. In short: Introduce, Explain Why We're Going to Make Magic, Call to Action

This answer was so comprehensive, I'd give you all of the likes if I could. I think the "explanation of why we might be compatible partners" was where I was failing the most (i.e. I wasn't doing that all). Thank you for your insight!

 

[nerdy tangents]

Yeah I actually have a preset list of “about me” information that I send to all new partners.

Like how often I can post, what my deal breakers are, a sample of my writing. (This is saved in my private workshop and I just copy and paste into each new PM)

I also usually send them my thoughts on their ideas OR give them my own ideas if they don’t have any listed. (That’s the bit that changes)

 

[Onmyoji]

I think the most important thing (other than what might be specifically requested) is to show them that you paid attention to their post and read it thoroughly. Some people will even bury passphrases or other 'attention checks' in long posts to see if you are paying attention and even if they don't do that nobody wants to scurry to their inbox or thread eager to read a new message only to find that the respondent blatantly did not read what they wrote. I, for example, am not into 'slice of life' so if someone came to me with that as their proposed idea I would be disappointed. A particularly bitter faux pas when you're trying to find people with whom you are going to exchange a lot of (possibly long) pieces of writing. Find a way to show them you really read what they were asking for by listing compatible genres or asking question to clarify their preferences or complementing a post sample or character description.

As far as how you might format it I think the template for a cover letter would be a surprisingly apt one to follow. Typically you start with an introduction telling them who you are and how you learned they were looking for more roleplays. Move on to tell them why you think you'll be good roleplay partners. Explain your experience and style, tell them the tiniest bit about yourself, list some general things that you are interested in as well as a few specific ideas if something is really getting your motor going at the moment (but lead with the broader ones so that if the specific ideas don't hit their mark your potential partner has a good opening for a counter-proposal for a different genre perhaps). End with a 'call to action' to reply to you, pm back, 'looking forward to getting started', 'hope to hear from you soon'. In short: Introduce, Explain Why We're Going to Make Magic, Call to Action

You took the words straight out of my head lol
This is exactly THE approach I use. Since registering on the forums I still have no search thread of my own, so I mostly contacted people myself. And these few little things worked like magic.

And a funny story, I found my current rp partner by talking in a discussion thread about how hard it is to find a partner for rare fandoms XD Which is not related to search threads at all.

 

[AnnJam]

Just tell the person what you are interested in from their thread. That is all people want. Don't pm them asking them to ask you what you want to roleplay from their thread. It's dumb. This "I saw your thread are you still looking for partners? I'm really interested." is the RPers equivalent of this:



Don't make the person who curated a thread of interests and expectations to continue to do the legwork. Just tell people what you want from their thread, show them you are interested by engaging with them on an equally invested level.

I saw your thread and I was wondering if you're still interested in roleplaying Cat/Dog idea.​

​

Or I saw your thread and your "bird spy" plot was really interesting, could you explain [blank part you didn't understand clearly] to me a little more?​

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Or do you have a plot for your Fish/Crab pairing? If not I have a suggestion would you like to hear?​

​

I read your [blank plot] I thought it was very interesting that the [blank] is motivated to do [blank], would you be interested in expanding the idea by adding [blank] to it?​

Basically show you read the thread, show interest in what interested you, don't make the other person dig information out of you. It should be standard to say hi, what interested you, ask any questions you have, and answer any question the thread creator gave you to answer when PMing. Simple.

 

[CrystalDisc]

I'm afraid I can't tell you the proper way to do it. Me? I come in with a good GIF and guns-a-blaring, a song announcing me and my character's arrival and readiness to play. Ridiculous as it seems, it's worked so far, haha.

 

[Crow]

If they ask you to PM them, PM them. If they don't, post and say 'hey I'm interested in this topic'. Classy conversations!