How do I tell someone they're a terrible roleplayer?

[sadladsalad]

I won't say who, but I certainly don't think he's on this site. Let's call him Adam. Adam is a roleplayer I've recently met a group roleplay over skype, and without knowing any better, we started a one on one with each other. It was a terrible mistake because I didn't realize how ridiculous his character or roleplay methods would be.


First of all, I think the character is the biggest peeve for me.


- Grew up rich


- PArents ignore him and are apparently assholes.


- Uses their money without thought anyway.


- Supposedly Kind.


- Popular, but hangs out with select people


-But he's still a flirt? like wtf.


- Honors Student


- Graphics major <- How does that even work.


- Realized his parents had bad morals when he was five, as he read a flipping civil war book or some bull.


- He FORCED my character to accept his character's 'kindness' to offer him to buy a phone with plan, even though my character adamantly didn't want it.


- He thinks all rich people are assholes.


- we're currently veering into a revenge plot now, please strangle me.


- And apparently his only weakness is being too kind.


I haven't seen an inch of kindness from him ever since you made this character.


And the way he replies is sooooooooo hard to read cause I keep on cringing on the replies.....


Actual quote:


"If I'm getting it you


Need it because then people will expect it. I have my parents credit card that's what they gave me to make me leave a meeting room." "


It just hurts to look at.


Okay, so the purpose of this post was how to break it to him and tell him I would like to stop until he brushes up on character development. I want to tell him you can't make your character like that. You can't put too kind as a weakness if you don't express it properly. In fact, that can't be your only weakness. You need vices. You can't be perfect for everything or else I'll have a terrible time in roleplaying, which serves no purpose to me. The reason why I roleplay is because I enjoy it, not because I want to torture myself.


Before people wig out on me for being mean, I am basically the person who controls the plot, and that means I am in charge with nearly twenty characters with reasonable personalities and developments.


I have a character whose a street brawling punk who has to balance his life from workshipping his girlfriend to enjoying his nights out with his friends.


I have a character whose friends with this streetpunk who ends up killing said girlfriend, and has to deal with that burden despite the fact he had to do it, otherwise he wouldn't live.


I have multiple characters who became officials to a dangerous tournament program, probably all suffering from PTSD from participating in said program, and will eventually make a decision that either makes them embrace the system or flip it off.


I'm not saying they're better then said your character, Adam, but for godsakes, can't you make a character that you put actual thought into instead of just combining an entire list of virtues?


I'm sorry, I'm probably ranting, I just want to tell this guy that I'm not enjoying it, while breaking it to him softly. orz idk, man.

 

[Komaeda]

Well first of all you definitely have the right to tell him you don't want to rp with him anymore. And you have legitimate complaints, so the important thing is how you handle it, as there is a difference between being mean and being constructive. You could tell him why you feel he is a bad partner (you're looking at a Gary stue character, which could start you off, his grammar isn't the best, etc) and that you don't want to work with him till he improves. The important thing is not to say something like "hey your character sucks, your grammar sucks, you're a horrible partner, stay out of my life", and also, if you're going for the method of telling him why he is bad you also want to explain HOW he can improve instead of potentially leaving him in the dark (even linking guides would suffice)


As a gamemaster it is your right to not want someone in your roleplay, and it's your right to tell someone you don't want to be partners anymore, just make sure to handle it calmly without letting him push on you. Believe me, I have a problem with not being able to tell people no because I'm afraid of sounding like a jerk, but sometimes a quick tug at the reins doesn't hurt

 

[Riley]

Perhaps, as a gentle hint, you could send him an article or url on how to develope a character and proper RP etiquette?

 

[Ducky]

If you tell them that they need to brush up on character development, then I think you need to be prepared for a response along the lines of "Why? I don't need to do that." Sometimes people don't even know enough to realize they need a lot of improvement. Kind of how everybody thinks that they are an above average driver or seeing a horrible singer audition on "American Idol" and then arguing with the judges about how they are really good.


I know how frustrating your situation can be. I once had to boot somebody from my RP group (I wasn't even the GM, but being a moderator the GM asked me to do it) after they had been repeatedly warned to shape up or ship out. On the bright side, six months later this person snuck back in under a pseudonym and hasn't caused any trouble since.

 

[maragion]

Yeah, I mean you can try to be nice about it, but Adam will probably be upset or confused no matter what you say. I think it's best you follow Rinirin's advice and tell him to leave. If he asks, it'd be nice if you could give him cc and link him to places for him to improve his character creating/roleplaying.

 

[Salt Lord]

I'd just tell him he sucks at roleplaying.

 

[Komaeda]

@Salt Lord ; um, no. In situations like this being too blunt isn't good at all, but you also don't want to sugarcoat it too much. Saying "you suck" is just feeding the flames.

 

[Salt Lord]

To be honest, I get a kick out of watching people get angry and rage-y.


How about this: "Listen, I'd like to continue this, but you should work on your roleplaying skills. As of now, you have none, and it's hard to read your replies without cringing. Sorry." Would that work?


 
Still there? @Rinirin

 

[Komaeda]

@Salt Lord well you may but others may not. What I would say is something along the lines of "Look, I'm just going to be honest. I'm getting tired of Roleplaying with you because [reasons; Gary stue, grammar, conflict issues, etc] and I don't want to continue working with you until I can see you have improved. If you need it, here are some resources for better improving your writing"


It may seem sappy but it's the easiest way to get your point across and not start drama because really, drama sucks. If I were in OP's shoes I'd want nothing to do with drama.

 

[Mordecai]

I'm going to lock this thread.


Opening up conversation is fine, but pointing fingers at one roleplayer and using their work as examples is considered harassment and is never acceptable. How would you feel if you found someone posting an example of your work tagged with the question "How do I tell this person they suck!?"


My only suggestion is to learn a bit more compassion and handle the situation kindly. Just because they are a partner you don't appreciate doesn't mean they suck or are bad. Remember, roleplaying is a hobby and a stress relief for most people, not life and death. I highly suggest you simply say something like "this isn't working out for me, good luck finding new roleplays!"


See?


Look how easy it is to not hurt their feelings and to go on your way to find more "acceptable" partners for yourself. Just because you say something can't do something doesn't make you the high priest of all things roleplaying. Not everyone roleplays the same or enjoys the same things in a roleplay.


Please.