MrSynnical
Timelord
Johnny Ryder felt sick. He’d been feeling this way for a good couple of days, but at this present moment in time, he felt as if his insides were about to clench and spew his breakfast all across the stone floor.
While his first morning in the Library had been nerve wracking, at least he could hide behind shelves, behind books, behind stacks of books, and even behind his desk where he pretended to look as if he knew what he was doing whilst checking over various forms and paperwork.
Johnny had studied the curriculum for each year group and scribbled down notes of additional reading material for both students and professors alike if asked to advise someone. He’d also had to work out how the library system worked in regards to late books being returned.
So far he had seven students and one staff member he needed to catch up to regarding that. He doubted any of them would be very happy to see him in the slightest, so had that dread in the very near future. He’d also spent time reading through a scroll left to him by his predecessor Madam Pince, which listed quite literally hundreds of things to not do as Hogwarts Librarian.
At first glance, you may be of the impression that Madam Pince leaving him such a scroll was done out of good will - a good luck gesture in regards to his new job. But no. No it wasn’t. Madam Pince had ensured his eyes were pelted with a manic list of do’s, don’ts, and under any and all circumstances do not evers.
There hadn’t been a hint of wishing him well, luck or anything remotely positive about his new role at all. It had been as if she had been told who her replacement would be, panicked, grabbed the nearest quill and scrawled down every single worry or concern she could possibly have about him being in her library, even double underlining certain things that he should pay even closer attention to not doing.
Which leaves the question of why?
Why would Madam Pince, a woman who had stalked between the towering shelves of the library when he was young, and met most students with a very special kind of hostility be especially hostile towards him? What could make her so suspicious of a tall, broad shouldered yet harmless looking man with glasses, a tweed three piece suit and neat short grey hair, who had spent most of his morning essentially hiding from any and every student who had entered his library?
In his youth, which was the version of himself Pince remembered, he had been very different. He’d been an arrogant long haired, leather jacket wearing, tattooed school heart throb, who used to spend his time figuring out how to break into the Restricted Section (and on occasion, Pince’s office) in order to get his hands on complex reading material that was deeply forbidden and even dangerous.
He’d also spent his time figuring out ways how to smuggle Firewhisky into the castle from Hogsmeade for the odd party in a disused classroom, having fist fights, duels, and otherwise being a bolshy troublemaking thug, with enough charm to not be too unpopular. Especially with girls. Well, the ones who liked a burly bad boy type of guy anyway.
Some of his memories in his late years of his times at Hogwarts, involved long snogging sessions in quiet corners of the library which Madam Pince hadn’t approved of at all. In fact she’d been truly disgusted and chased them out with her pink feather duster.
Reading that scroll had been an incredibly uncomfortable experience for Johnny. It was a reminder of a past he no longer felt belonged to him, and showcased how some still saw him.
It seemed that catching and throwing Dark Wizards and Witches in Azkaban for a living was apparently much easier than changing people's perceptions of him nowadays. Of course, he hadn’t expected any less as his younger self had certainly been wild and out of control. But still, it was very awkward for him to reminisce about for too long.
Today, another thing Johnny was finding awkward, is where he was and what he was doing along with that sick feeling growing in his stomach, and a thin layer of sweat that made his brow glisten ever so slightly with stress.
His mouth was remarkably dry and his arms were starting to hurt as he tightly cradled a large pile of Alchemy books to his chest. He also occasionally used his chin to prevent the ones nearest the top from toppling off and clattering on the floor.
The journey down the Grand Staircase had been a nightmare. Mainly because he could barely see over the heavy leather bound tomes in his arms. His greatest fear had been getting his foot stuck in between the stairs over actually falling down. You see Hogwarts was trickier than expected to navigate, as the entire castle seemed to constantly move around a lot.
Doors weren’t always doors, and walls weren’t always as they seemed; many secrets lay in wait around every single corner, along with steps that you had to remember to jump over on certain days of the week, otherwise you’d end up knee deep in an incredibly uncomfortable magical hole, with a multitude of amused eyes on you until you broke free. The humiliation of that was too much for this stiff and stressed Ex-Auror to contemplate this afternoon.
Thankfully he’d made his way down into the long, dark and gloomy Potions Corridor without dropping anything or walking into anyone. That was technically the silver lining of this whole task so far, he’d decided.
Johnny grit his teeth and resisted a shiver as he met the cold, damp Dungeon air, and stood rooted to the spot in the middle of the corridor and, strained his ears and eyes.
He couldn’t even remember the last time he’d been down here, but it had been an incredibly long time ago. That, combined with the fact he’d never taken an Alchemy class which was apparently still an elective subject for sixth and seventh years during his time, didn’t help him now.
Johnny had zero idea where he should go, and the Dungeons were a sprawling mass of halls, corridors and general grimness that likely went on for miles beneath the castle. Basically, he was in a maze.
As a student, he’d been confident in knowing his way around and of the many secrets the castle contained. But the Dungeons just didn’t have the same appeal to learn his way around so much. Mainly as he hadn’t thought as a hormonal, image conscious teenager, that many girls would have wanted to come down here with him into the creepiest place in the whole of Hogwarts, to have a snog in a dust and cobweb covered alcove.
Then again, as an adult, it wasn’t too appealing for him either. It wasn’t because of the occasional scurrying of a rat, or the odd chance you feel a bat flutter past your head even further into the Dungeons depths. But how narrow some of the passages were at some points.
Some walls were way too close and too dark for someone with claustrophobia to feel at all comfortable in. Especially someone who had a naturally large, yet trim frame. His elbows would probably hit the rough walls and wear his suits away in no time. Plus he doubted he would remain clean for long, and he really didn’t want to risk getting himself dirty on his first day.
Johnny sighed as he stood in the middle of the corridor. He pivoted occasionally on the spot to take in his surroundings as if trying to trigger a memory he knew he didn’t have as to where to go. Basically, this was a massive waste of time.
“Bloody hell,” He muttered to himself irritably.
His voice was very articulate, even in his stressed state. Something which as a student hadn’t been the case. Back then, he’d put on a cockney-ish accent to be seen as more rough around the edges than he actually had been. Neither of his parents spoke like that- they were incredibly well spoken, and so was his brother. That, he supposed, had been the point. He wanted to rebel against it all.
“…of all the classrooms I have to find, it has to be the most awkward one of all to bloody well-“
He stopped muttering to himself as he heard a bang which made him turn on his heel towards the loud sound.
Unfortunately reacting to unexpected loud noises was an Auror instinct that he’d yet to train away. Either that, or it was something else that was worse - a reminder of the horrors he’d somehow scraped through with his life; a behavioural scar if you will, that likely wouldn’t heal any time soon.
Fantastic.
It wasn’t as if he was short of physical scars he kept mostly hidden beneath his clothes.
The only scar visible in his body currently, was the one on the back of his tired right hand which was still gripping tightly the books in his arms. The scar had a horrible pale-glimmer to it, even after all these years. ‘No pain, no gain’ is what it said in his own, slightly slanted handwriting, once carved deeply into his flesh. How he hoped he wasn’t going to get asked about it any time soon.
Johnny’s ears heard the sound of footsteps echoing off the stone walls getting progressively louder. They sounded small, and rather like someone running his way at considerable speed on the old stone floors.
Sure enough, a student, probably no older than a third year, zoomed towards him in a blur of robes and Ravenclaw colours.
Johnny felt like a deer caught in wandlight, and resembled one too as the boy merely glanced at him sped past.
Johnny simply blinked very uncomfortably back at him, not having enough time to prepare for such an interaction.. After all, he’d been avoiding students all morning, as he’d wanted to avoid as many uncomfortable questions, stares and situations as possible.
When he’d been introduced as the new Librarian at the feast last night, he saw many students whispering to each other about him. He’d lip read both ‘Auror’ as well as his old band ‘Death Beater’ alongside a few students miming playing guitar to each other as they looked totally bewildered at the choice of replacement for Madam Pince. Johnny had just smiled very uncomfortably, and avoided everyone’s eye contact whilst his whole face paled.
He’d hated it.
He won’t forget that in a hurry. It had been truly awful.
“Ooh… ummm… I umm…” Is what came out of his mouth in barely more than a very painful murmur multiple seconds too late.
The boy was gone. He’d charged right out of sight before even a single nervous syllable left his mouth.
So, he was alone once again, listening to the sound of the Ravenclaw’s footsteps getting further and further away each second.
Instantly, Johnny muttered another curse to himself. He knew he should probably have done two things just now: tell the boy to stop running in the castle, and ask him for directions. He’d looked like he knew the dungeons pretty well after all.
Johnny realized his awkwardness with the students had just cost him greatly. He was once again back in the same situation as he was a few moments ago, but now felt twice as pathetic as before and in more pain.
Yes, he could have cast a charm on the books before he’d left the library to make them either lighter or levitate along in front of him whilst he undertook this great quest of finding where to go. But he’d been so anxious about the prospect of being seen by students walking around, hoping against hope no one was going to approach him and ask him something he found very difficult to talk about, he’d forgotten to. And to think he was once one of the top Aurors at the Ministry of Magic.
Johnny tried his best to not think about that still very sore topic. It made him feel totally ridiculous.
So after he shook himself mentally, Johnny off in the direction the boy had come from. If the boy was running like that, maybe he was running from someone who’d be able to help him?
Honestly, Johnny would even take bumping into the creepy Bloody Baron at this point if he could get pointed in the right direction. As long as it wasn’t another student, or even Peeves, he should be good… hopefully. Honestly, after the day he was having, who knew?
“Merlin, I really hope this is the right way,” He grumbled in his still incredibly well spoken, immaculately eloquent accent whilst he did his best to ignore how uncomfortable and heavy his arms were getting.
“Have they still not realized that signs have been invented for a considerably long time yet? No wonder why no one did this class - absolutely impossible to find.” He continued muttering to himself as the corridor expanded slightly. Currently, that was the only thing he was thankful for as he was truly, utterly, and completely lost.
He had absolutely no clue where to go, or what to do about it. His ears weren’t picking up on the sound of anyone nearby at all. He felt totally hopeless, which Johnny hated every single second of.
Feeling hopeless is something anyone like himself with the surname Ryder wasn’t known for. So him having very little choice but to wallow in that very feeling, the deeper he went into the dark, damp Dungeons was very far from pleasant. It was almost as bad as the strange smell of must that seemed to just linger down there. That unlike him, hadn’t changed.
While his first morning in the Library had been nerve wracking, at least he could hide behind shelves, behind books, behind stacks of books, and even behind his desk where he pretended to look as if he knew what he was doing whilst checking over various forms and paperwork.
Johnny had studied the curriculum for each year group and scribbled down notes of additional reading material for both students and professors alike if asked to advise someone. He’d also had to work out how the library system worked in regards to late books being returned.
So far he had seven students and one staff member he needed to catch up to regarding that. He doubted any of them would be very happy to see him in the slightest, so had that dread in the very near future. He’d also spent time reading through a scroll left to him by his predecessor Madam Pince, which listed quite literally hundreds of things to not do as Hogwarts Librarian.
At first glance, you may be of the impression that Madam Pince leaving him such a scroll was done out of good will - a good luck gesture in regards to his new job. But no. No it wasn’t. Madam Pince had ensured his eyes were pelted with a manic list of do’s, don’ts, and under any and all circumstances do not evers.
There hadn’t been a hint of wishing him well, luck or anything remotely positive about his new role at all. It had been as if she had been told who her replacement would be, panicked, grabbed the nearest quill and scrawled down every single worry or concern she could possibly have about him being in her library, even double underlining certain things that he should pay even closer attention to not doing.
Which leaves the question of why?
Why would Madam Pince, a woman who had stalked between the towering shelves of the library when he was young, and met most students with a very special kind of hostility be especially hostile towards him? What could make her so suspicious of a tall, broad shouldered yet harmless looking man with glasses, a tweed three piece suit and neat short grey hair, who had spent most of his morning essentially hiding from any and every student who had entered his library?
In his youth, which was the version of himself Pince remembered, he had been very different. He’d been an arrogant long haired, leather jacket wearing, tattooed school heart throb, who used to spend his time figuring out how to break into the Restricted Section (and on occasion, Pince’s office) in order to get his hands on complex reading material that was deeply forbidden and even dangerous.
He’d also spent his time figuring out ways how to smuggle Firewhisky into the castle from Hogsmeade for the odd party in a disused classroom, having fist fights, duels, and otherwise being a bolshy troublemaking thug, with enough charm to not be too unpopular. Especially with girls. Well, the ones who liked a burly bad boy type of guy anyway.
Some of his memories in his late years of his times at Hogwarts, involved long snogging sessions in quiet corners of the library which Madam Pince hadn’t approved of at all. In fact she’d been truly disgusted and chased them out with her pink feather duster.
Reading that scroll had been an incredibly uncomfortable experience for Johnny. It was a reminder of a past he no longer felt belonged to him, and showcased how some still saw him.
It seemed that catching and throwing Dark Wizards and Witches in Azkaban for a living was apparently much easier than changing people's perceptions of him nowadays. Of course, he hadn’t expected any less as his younger self had certainly been wild and out of control. But still, it was very awkward for him to reminisce about for too long.
Today, another thing Johnny was finding awkward, is where he was and what he was doing along with that sick feeling growing in his stomach, and a thin layer of sweat that made his brow glisten ever so slightly with stress.
His mouth was remarkably dry and his arms were starting to hurt as he tightly cradled a large pile of Alchemy books to his chest. He also occasionally used his chin to prevent the ones nearest the top from toppling off and clattering on the floor.
The journey down the Grand Staircase had been a nightmare. Mainly because he could barely see over the heavy leather bound tomes in his arms. His greatest fear had been getting his foot stuck in between the stairs over actually falling down. You see Hogwarts was trickier than expected to navigate, as the entire castle seemed to constantly move around a lot.
Doors weren’t always doors, and walls weren’t always as they seemed; many secrets lay in wait around every single corner, along with steps that you had to remember to jump over on certain days of the week, otherwise you’d end up knee deep in an incredibly uncomfortable magical hole, with a multitude of amused eyes on you until you broke free. The humiliation of that was too much for this stiff and stressed Ex-Auror to contemplate this afternoon.
Thankfully he’d made his way down into the long, dark and gloomy Potions Corridor without dropping anything or walking into anyone. That was technically the silver lining of this whole task so far, he’d decided.
Johnny grit his teeth and resisted a shiver as he met the cold, damp Dungeon air, and stood rooted to the spot in the middle of the corridor and, strained his ears and eyes.
He couldn’t even remember the last time he’d been down here, but it had been an incredibly long time ago. That, combined with the fact he’d never taken an Alchemy class which was apparently still an elective subject for sixth and seventh years during his time, didn’t help him now.
Johnny had zero idea where he should go, and the Dungeons were a sprawling mass of halls, corridors and general grimness that likely went on for miles beneath the castle. Basically, he was in a maze.
As a student, he’d been confident in knowing his way around and of the many secrets the castle contained. But the Dungeons just didn’t have the same appeal to learn his way around so much. Mainly as he hadn’t thought as a hormonal, image conscious teenager, that many girls would have wanted to come down here with him into the creepiest place in the whole of Hogwarts, to have a snog in a dust and cobweb covered alcove.
Then again, as an adult, it wasn’t too appealing for him either. It wasn’t because of the occasional scurrying of a rat, or the odd chance you feel a bat flutter past your head even further into the Dungeons depths. But how narrow some of the passages were at some points.
Some walls were way too close and too dark for someone with claustrophobia to feel at all comfortable in. Especially someone who had a naturally large, yet trim frame. His elbows would probably hit the rough walls and wear his suits away in no time. Plus he doubted he would remain clean for long, and he really didn’t want to risk getting himself dirty on his first day.
Johnny sighed as he stood in the middle of the corridor. He pivoted occasionally on the spot to take in his surroundings as if trying to trigger a memory he knew he didn’t have as to where to go. Basically, this was a massive waste of time.
“Bloody hell,” He muttered to himself irritably.
His voice was very articulate, even in his stressed state. Something which as a student hadn’t been the case. Back then, he’d put on a cockney-ish accent to be seen as more rough around the edges than he actually had been. Neither of his parents spoke like that- they were incredibly well spoken, and so was his brother. That, he supposed, had been the point. He wanted to rebel against it all.
“…of all the classrooms I have to find, it has to be the most awkward one of all to bloody well-“
He stopped muttering to himself as he heard a bang which made him turn on his heel towards the loud sound.
Unfortunately reacting to unexpected loud noises was an Auror instinct that he’d yet to train away. Either that, or it was something else that was worse - a reminder of the horrors he’d somehow scraped through with his life; a behavioural scar if you will, that likely wouldn’t heal any time soon.
Fantastic.
It wasn’t as if he was short of physical scars he kept mostly hidden beneath his clothes.
The only scar visible in his body currently, was the one on the back of his tired right hand which was still gripping tightly the books in his arms. The scar had a horrible pale-glimmer to it, even after all these years. ‘No pain, no gain’ is what it said in his own, slightly slanted handwriting, once carved deeply into his flesh. How he hoped he wasn’t going to get asked about it any time soon.
Johnny’s ears heard the sound of footsteps echoing off the stone walls getting progressively louder. They sounded small, and rather like someone running his way at considerable speed on the old stone floors.
Sure enough, a student, probably no older than a third year, zoomed towards him in a blur of robes and Ravenclaw colours.
Johnny felt like a deer caught in wandlight, and resembled one too as the boy merely glanced at him sped past.
Johnny simply blinked very uncomfortably back at him, not having enough time to prepare for such an interaction.. After all, he’d been avoiding students all morning, as he’d wanted to avoid as many uncomfortable questions, stares and situations as possible.
When he’d been introduced as the new Librarian at the feast last night, he saw many students whispering to each other about him. He’d lip read both ‘Auror’ as well as his old band ‘Death Beater’ alongside a few students miming playing guitar to each other as they looked totally bewildered at the choice of replacement for Madam Pince. Johnny had just smiled very uncomfortably, and avoided everyone’s eye contact whilst his whole face paled.
He’d hated it.
He won’t forget that in a hurry. It had been truly awful.
“Ooh… ummm… I umm…” Is what came out of his mouth in barely more than a very painful murmur multiple seconds too late.
The boy was gone. He’d charged right out of sight before even a single nervous syllable left his mouth.
So, he was alone once again, listening to the sound of the Ravenclaw’s footsteps getting further and further away each second.
Instantly, Johnny muttered another curse to himself. He knew he should probably have done two things just now: tell the boy to stop running in the castle, and ask him for directions. He’d looked like he knew the dungeons pretty well after all.
Johnny realized his awkwardness with the students had just cost him greatly. He was once again back in the same situation as he was a few moments ago, but now felt twice as pathetic as before and in more pain.
Yes, he could have cast a charm on the books before he’d left the library to make them either lighter or levitate along in front of him whilst he undertook this great quest of finding where to go. But he’d been so anxious about the prospect of being seen by students walking around, hoping against hope no one was going to approach him and ask him something he found very difficult to talk about, he’d forgotten to. And to think he was once one of the top Aurors at the Ministry of Magic.
Johnny tried his best to not think about that still very sore topic. It made him feel totally ridiculous.
So after he shook himself mentally, Johnny off in the direction the boy had come from. If the boy was running like that, maybe he was running from someone who’d be able to help him?
Honestly, Johnny would even take bumping into the creepy Bloody Baron at this point if he could get pointed in the right direction. As long as it wasn’t another student, or even Peeves, he should be good… hopefully. Honestly, after the day he was having, who knew?
“Merlin, I really hope this is the right way,” He grumbled in his still incredibly well spoken, immaculately eloquent accent whilst he did his best to ignore how uncomfortable and heavy his arms were getting.
“Have they still not realized that signs have been invented for a considerably long time yet? No wonder why no one did this class - absolutely impossible to find.” He continued muttering to himself as the corridor expanded slightly. Currently, that was the only thing he was thankful for as he was truly, utterly, and completely lost.
He had absolutely no clue where to go, or what to do about it. His ears weren’t picking up on the sound of anyone nearby at all. He felt totally hopeless, which Johnny hated every single second of.
Feeling hopeless is something anyone like himself with the surname Ryder wasn’t known for. So him having very little choice but to wallow in that very feeling, the deeper he went into the dark, damp Dungeons was very far from pleasant. It was almost as bad as the strange smell of must that seemed to just linger down there. That unlike him, hadn’t changed.
