Fantasy Heroes of Generica (an rpg video game spoof) IC

[BackSet]

A long time ago in the far away kingdom of generica there was a great evil. The evil of Lord Darkness!!!! He was going to take over the world!!! To do this he awakened the seven legendary beasts and mind controlled them into guarding the seven legacy maidens he kidnapped to sacrifice in order to revive the dark lord of ultimate evil: Doom!!! Luckily there is hope. The heroes of prophecy will rescue- er… They're still stuck in the first dungeon. This may take a while. *sigh*

hi there. It's me. Foreigner. This is a roleplay that basically spoofs video game and rpg tropes. It takes pages out of several video games (just two actually. The first final fantasy and a link to the past.) and makes fun of them. And breaks the fourth wall. And lamp shade hangs. Yeah.

 

[BackSet]

I'm finished. Thoughts? BackSet

Name: Jack Furysword McQueelag Von Edgeworth
Nicknames and aliases: The Edge
Age: 17
Gender: Male?
Level: 3
Class: Dark Knight
Race: Human?
Eye color: Black, or so he says.
Hair color: Black, or so he says.

Equipment:

• No rations. He feeds off of edge energies that sustain his body.
• He does have water though. A small canister of it.
• Several healing potions. He needs them, considering that most of his spells draw on power from life-force rather than mana resulting in self-injury and frequent disease.

Weapons:

• (2) Edge Swords+3.
• Iron dagger, presumably for cutting his wrists.
• Edge Armor+2.
  • Edge Helmet+2.
  • Edge Chestplate+2.
  • Edge Greaves+2.
  • Edge Boots+2.
  • Edge Gauntlets+2.
  • Black-Crimson Hood.
• (15) Spikes. As in, actual spikes.

Personal items:

• A locket from his mother. Since he's going with the tough guy act, he never shows it to anyone.
• A book about necromancy and other such things. Not really much use, as he can't read, but it can probably be given to a more scholarly person to study.

Appearance:

Personality: Very brooding, very grim, and very sullen. These three adjectives are the perfect description of the Edge, an enigmatic dark knight that has no friends. Although very anti-social and cynical, deep within, under the stone heart of a cold bully and the skin of a tough guy, there lies a softie that he's not willing to admit he is. Often described by local villagers as "very edgy, but powerful."

Tragic Backstory: IT'S A MYYYYSTEERYYYY... In all reality, he's too edgy to tell anyone his backstory or why he's so edgy for that matter. On another hand, he often mentions tidbits of it, or when drunk. As it appears, his father was an abusive necromancer from a far away land called Scotland and his mother left him alone to live with "the Scottish bastard." That is where Jack learned how to channel his inner Edge into spells of various kinds at the cost of his life-force. Then he killed his father and moved on to being a mercenary, until he mysteriously ended up in the same starting dungeon as the heroes from the prophecy, and having nothing better to do, he joined them.

Tropes:
Darker and Edgier - TV Tropes
Black Knight - TV Tropes
Anti-Hero - TV Tropes
Parental Abandonment - TV Tropes

Name: Allard Alpen Axepike
Nicknames and aliases (if you have any): Bush
Age:12
Gender:male
Level (since you're just starting out anywhere from 1 to 3): 2
Class (just make any class up): Penguin lord
Race (just make any race up): earscrub elf
Eye color: poisonous
Hair color: Also poisonous

Equipment:
Weapons: Penguin sword x2
Personal items: Penguin necklace

Appearance (picture or description or both): A really tall (8ft) elf with ears that are made of pine cones(small ones)

Personality: Amiable and polite.

Tragic back- I mean history: He was part of the magical mob and also sailed on a ship at some point.

Tropes that apply to your character (not required but amusing. If you need help go to TV Tropes.):

(Feel free to point out possible corrections, I'm still fairly new to this)

Name: Mystic Knight Todd

Alias: Todd. Yes, my name is JUST Todd. No, not Just Todd, just Todd. I. AM. TODD. THAT'S IT. Stop writing

Age: 22

Gender: Male

Level: 2

Class: Mystic Knight

Race: Todd

Eye Colour: Brown

Hair Colour: Red

Equipment:
Weapons: Todd can use any weapon. As long as it's a sword. He wears blue fancy armour because that's supposed to be what Mystic Knights wear. He also has a decent-sized shield, with the sheath built into the inside.
"Hey, hey, I'm still new at this!"
Personal Items:
He wears a steel bangle on his left wrist. The only reason it claims any significance is that he got it for his birthday once. He also carries a study guide on how being a Mystic Knight works. Plus a backpack with basic rations and supplies

Appearance: Standing at about 5'11", wearing all blue-tinged armour that's surprisingly slim, Todd lacks a helmet because before entering the first dungeon he only brutalized enough goblins to buy his armour and then accidentally found his way in accidentally. His red hair runs to his neck, and his build is strangely slim for a Knight of any kind

Personality: Todd just wants the world to make sense. Unfortunately, he deals with a bunch of weird crap and parodies, and writers who think they're funny when they're really not. Todd dreams of being a grand hero to the world, so he was overjoyed to learn he could prove that he was hero material, and then he got stuck in the first dungeon. He fancies himself noble, intelligent, and an all-around good guy, but he's not above shouting at narrators to shut the hell up about lore

Tragic Back- I mean, history "No you don't" Shut up Todd: There isn't much story to Todd. He grew up in a small village, lived a happy life, and decided to set out and learn about things, eventually self-teaching himself the basic skills of a Mystic Knight and deciding to head out with literally no talent and even less knowledge. Hence why it took him two weeks of stabbing goblins to become Level 2

The Mystic Knight only has one basic/useful skill as of Level 2, that being an energy sword slash for ten mana points. Unfortunately, Todds are a terrible starting race, and a Level 2 one only has nine mana, so he's basically worthless in that regard. He also has an intense hatred for lore and exposition despite its necessities because his family would never shut up about any new lore videos. Aside from that, he's just a normal complete moron who tries desperately to play the straight man

Tropes that apply: I know there's a few, but I'm pressed for time so I'll edit them in a later day.

hey guys I'm snowy! I hope this is okay~

Name: Gale Gates-Koch-Buffett-Zuckerberg
Nicknames and aliases (if you have any): Gwen Gaylord
Age: 20
Gender: meh (pronouns she and they)
Level (since you're just starting out anywhere from 1 to 3): 3
Class (just make any class up): Mage
Race (just make any race up): Human
Eye color: Black
Hair color: Used to have black hair, dyed it white one day and it somehow stayed that way

Equipment:

• Has a plain, leather, waterproof, magic proof, scratch proof messenger bag that requires a passcode (8008) that has been enchanted with space and various other forms of magic, (borrowed from daddy's treasury)
• Various textbooks to study magic, along with some generic mage school supplies
• a shiiiiiittttton of sweet rolls, who knows how many are in there or how they got there(no nutritional value just empty carbs)
• her usual green and brown robes that slightly increase mana and decrease spell cast time
• some minor mana potions
• some minor stamina potions

Weapons:

• beginners reference spellbook (pages can magically turn and float with mana ooooo)
• steel dagger

Personal items:

• mother's pearl circlet

Appearance (picture or description or both):
View attachment 351985


Personality: outgoing, charming, adventurous, curious, passionate


Tragic back- I mean history:

Gale was born in a corrupt mercantile family. Sold endangered species organs and hired goons to steal from other merchants but got away with it kind of corrupt. They always knew how to crack a joke, make people feel at ease, and build trust. Except her mom, she was cool and didn't do all the corrupt stuff everyone else did. She died because Aunt Rebecca killed her for insurance money.
Gale had no idea all this was going on because she was attending some fancy private boarding school, trying to acquire a well-rounded liberal arts degree. She studied magic for fun in her spare time.
After graduation, her Aunt Rebecca sent Gale to a nobleman's partay to network. She met Ellary (nobleman’s daughter), her true love. It was love at first sight just because. Ellary had really interesting ideas about potato harvesting and was passionate about helping the people. A few drinks later, Ellary and Gale kissed under da moonlight and stars at the balcony. Then her aunt’s hired goons discretely pushed Ellary over the edge and she died. Gale was shocked and fired some fireballs and burned those goons to death. The guests panicked obviously. There was a note that was like “kill her” in her aunt’s handwriting! Gale went home early, saw some shady business dealings at her house, and packed what she needed and escaped her house. Her aunt tried to kill her for insurance money but Gale burned her Aunt’s face and ran away. Gale changed her style, dyed her hair, and now calls herself Gwen Gaylord. She wows to kill her Aunt and right the wrongs of her family in Ellary's and her mother Aysha's names. But she forgot to bring money with her so now she's an adventurer.

Tropes that apply to your character (not required but amusing. If you need help go to TV Tropes.):
Star-Crossed Lovers - TV Tropes
Riches to Rags - TV Tropes
Revenge - TV Tropes

Name: Artemis Site
Nicknames and aliases (if you have any):
Age: 25
Gender: male
Level (since you're just starting out anywhere from 1 to 3): 3
Class (just make any class up): swordsman
Race (just make any race up): human
Eye color: blue
Hair color: black

Equipment: chainmail shirt, shield bearing the crest of his village, grapple shot (essentially a hook shot)
Weapons: his father's broad sword, a regular broadsword, short swords (x3), hunting knife, great sword
Personal items: rations (10 days), torches (x10)

Appearance (picture or description or both):Artemis is a tall young man with black hair and blue eyes. Those who have met him have said that he had a determined look in his eyes. He has Caucasian skin. He wears his hair short but not to short either.

He wears a simple blue tunic and a pair of black trousers and brown boots. Under the tunic he wears a chainmail shirt. On his back he wears three scabbards each of which holds a short sword. He also wears a shield on his back. At his side is a scabbard that holds his father's broadsword. This is his most treasured possession. On his other side is another broad sword.

Personality: Artemis is very confident. He always tries to see the best in people. Unfortunately people don't make this easy for him. He is often exasperated at all the crazy people in the world and quick to make snarky comments about their ridiculousness. He is quick to judge but you can still earn his trust after he decides not to trust you.

Tragic back- I mean history: Artemis grew up being told he would lead the heroes of prophecy. And he believed it. He was trained in the art of sword craft. He was also taught to always help others and how to lead and have a good heart. Artemis, while proud, was also worried about his position. In all the books he'd read the hero always has a tragic backstory that he must overcome. Artemis was worried something like that would happen to him. Something did happen. His father (Artemis never knew his mother. He suspected it was because he was the result of a one night stand.) died. He was killed. Artemis’s father was chief of defense in the village and he was teaching Artemis sword fighting. The death of his father caused Artemis great pain. He took his father's broadsword and finished his training on his own. He mastered some of the most complicated sword techniques and there was no doubt in his mind that he was a hero of the prophecy. FInally he was finished with his training. When he finished he heard that the seven legacy maidens had been kidnapped. As soon as he heard he headed off to the first dungeon where he ran into our crazy party

Tropes that apply to your character (not required but amusing. If you need help go to TV Tropes.): Heroes Prefer Swords - TV Tropes, Only Sane Man - TV Tropes, Badass Normal - TV Tropes, Blue Is Heroic - TV Tropes

Extra notes: Artemis is somewhat aware that he lives in a parody world. Not Todd aware but more aware than the others.

Artemis was walking down a hallway in the first dungeon. That's what it was called. The first dungeon. Real creative I know. Anyway he was walking down the Hal with his companions (that's you guys) who he had just met a full 20 minutes ago. They were The edge, a slightly insane; drowning in edgy ness dark knight, allard alpen axepike, a polite penguin lord, Mystic Knight Todd, a slightly insane; fourth wall observing mystic knight, and Gwen Gaylord, a rather charming Mage. Out of all these people Artemis considered himself the most normal lacking magical powers and having sanity. As he was walking down the hallway and dwelling on these thoughts Artemis realized they had bumped into a fork in the dungeon. He turned to his companions "Wich way?"

 

[Birdsie]

BackSet

Insert heavy breathing.

The Edge turned to Artemis, completely bewildered. "Why are you asking that question!? There is no right answer!" he replied, waving his arm angrily. The knight who drowned in edginess sighed. "I say middle. Worst case scenario: We all die."

The Edge remained silent after that, except for his constant, heavy breathing that oozed with the uncomfortableness of social interaction of any kind.

 

[Saint_John446]

BackSet Birdsie

"This isn't a turn-based game is it? It doesn't feel like a game," Todd said, scratching at his red-haired head as he walked alongside- begrudgingly alongside- The Edge, or Edgeworth, or Jack, or was his name secretly Charles? Who cared?! Todd sighed quietly to himself as they reached a fork in the path- this was his ninth in two days. He'd been down here for two days! The level design was that bad!
"Oh, wow, of course you go straight to the we all die scenario," Todd grumbled. "What is it with edgy badasses and stuff like that, is optimism outside your pay grade? Are you even getting paid for this? Gods know I'm definitely not." He sighed and slammed his head into his gauntleted hand, wincing as he drew blood from a recently-closed wound just above his eye.
"Ouch." He grumbled. "Okay, okay, I'm fine, I'm fine, I swear I was here two days ago but that's because all these walls kind of look the same- textures are a brilliant invention, people- so, um." He sighed and walked toward the center path, drew his mystic sword, and tapped a couple of the stones in the corridor. "No traps, no forced encounters, I can't believe I'm saying this, but listen to Edgy." Todd re-sheathed his sword and walked back to the group. "That's my vote, middle seems doable. However, this is, thankfully, a democratic party, so, uh, vote?"

 

[Birdsie]

BackSet Saint_John446

"What did you expect?! Of course we'll die! Death is the only thing promised in life," he replied with an equal amount of cynism. "Nah, they don't pay me. I'm an intern, y'see," he mused. "Still, I think I'm doing a better job at being edgy than you do at whatever your job is!" he yelled, full of anger.

When Todd admitted that listening to the Edge was a good idea, Jack merely nodded and kept quiet, seemingly in some kind of grim satisfaction.

 

[KAmber]

"All the ways! Let the pengiuns go, and we- I mea they can report back."

 

[BackSet]

Birdsie Saint_John446 KAmber

Artemis sighed. "Remind me again why we decided to work together." He looked at the center path. No random encounters and traps seemed like a good thing. "I'm gonna vote straight beacause I would prefer not to die. Worse case sensation we run into the boss. Best case scenario we find a key item that will help us on our quest and has no business being in this dungeon."

 

[Birdsie]

BackSet Saint_John446 KAmber

"Because we need to beat the dark lord and we won't finish the plot of this dumb game otherwise," the Edge replied dryly, shrugging. Not wanting to waste any time, he looked forward. "Either way, now that we know there's probably no traps, let's just go." The Edge proceeded to walk down the middle of the hall, prepared to tank any damage from traps as he was quite the damage sponge when not casting spells.

 

[snowy raven]

"Aw. Shoot. We forgot to mark the walls, and it's been two days."said Gwen out loud. Her first dungeon crawling experience wasn't living up to her expectations, but she was enjoying what she experienced so far.The last quests she had were babysitting and gathering herbs. Boring, but it was easy and work was always available. She took a sweet roll out of her bag and took a bite. Fasting for two days made her irritable, but nothing can kill her optimism! "I vote for Allard's plan. Maybe we would be able to find some clues about the Legacy Maidens. Franny what do you think?"

Seeing Edge walk towards the center path, Gwen sighed and cast Defense buffs for everyone-just in case.

BackSet KAmber Orikanyo Birdsie Saint_John446

 

[KAmber]

"Okay. Don't talk o the guy who's providing our cannon fodder. jeez."

 

[BackSet]

( snowy raven : Orikanyo opted out. Or at least I think they did.)

snowy raven Birdsie Saint_John446 KAmber

Artemis walked after they're damage sponge. After all when they had a damage sponge walking in front the rest of them were practically invincible. Artemis felt the effects of Gwen buffing them with defense buffs. That was nice. But if they're were no traps or REs (official termage for random encounters in this roleplay starting as of now) they should be fine. Unfourtanetly they weren't fine as they soon entered a square room (why was there no shape variation) with a group of five goblins and an ogre. That was, unfourtanetly, not a random encounter. Artemis silently cursed under his breath. "Please tell me the battle won't be turn based." He muttered to himself..

 

[Saint_John446]

Todd watched the others all figure everything out, and eventually they settled on the center path- after Gwen pointed out they hadn't been marking the walls. Great. "So we're even more lost than before," he grumbled, following the others down the path and taking up rear guard. He silently thanked the Defense buff Gwen had cast and kept his ears sharp as he followed his party, making sure no REs would sneak up on them. At least, he hoped that they wouldn't. Todd groaned and glued his eyes to the floor.
Please let there be something important at the end of the path. What if Gwen's right? Oh, Gods, no. No lore. Todd shook that thought from his head and kept his hand near his sword. He was a hero, he needed to prove he was heroic, he needed-

He bumped into whoever was ahead of him as the group entered the big square room that looked exactly like every other square room that they'd passed up to this point, only this one had a bunch of bad things in it. "OH SON OF A-" Todd yelled the moment he realized it wasn't random. "Dammit! I thought we were safe!" He drew his sword and glared at the ogre, which sneezed suddenly, and somehow hit Todd, despite the people ahead of him, dealing 4 Damage. "ARE YOU SERIOUS!?"

BackSet Birdsie KAmber snowy raven

 

[SP3CT3R]

Derrick pulsed a blue ray of light over the ogre in order to scan it, and posted his findings to the party chat. "Level five, only assets are strength and endurance. According to the wiki, it attacks with a slow club smash and summons underlings if it misses. It's a Hedonist element monster, which means it won't be damaged by Edge's Nihilist element and vice versa."

BackSet Birdsie Saint_John446 KAmber snowy raven

 

[BackSet]

Artemis was startled by the sudden appearance of the robot. "Where did you come from!" He asked in suprise. Then he realized asking was futile. "You know what, I'm just going to pretend you were here the whole time. It's easier than wasting an entire page arguing about it." Artemis looked at the goblins. Standard monsters. Should be easy. He attacked with his father's broadsword. And missed, face planting into a wall. "Oh come on!" He yelled.

 

[Saint_John446]

Todd sighed and stepped toward the front of the party. "I'm going to pretend that I didn't see the robot. That's what I'm going to do." He narrowed his eyes at the monsters ahead as Artemis charged forward, missed, and kissed the wall, sighing to himself again. "Don't you worry, I spent two weeks stabbing Goblins, I can do this!" He charged forward and swung his sword at the nearest Goblin, missing and hitting the Ogre's large club instead for zero damage. He pulled his sword out of the club and patted the Ogre's sturdy shoulder with a nervous grin. "N-no hard feelings, right?" he asked. In response, the Ogre swung its club and would have completely flattened the Mystic Knight had he not snapped his shield up to block. As it was, he was propelled through the air and landed in front of the others flat on his back.

"Oh, oh this is fun," Todd grumbled, propping himself up on his elbows. "Level 5 right? What're the odds of a party of Level 2's and 3's winning?"

BackSet Birdsie snowy raven SP3CT3R KAmber

 

[snowy raven]

Wow a robot suddenly appeared! Wait, why do I know what a robot is? Are my timelines colliding?!?!? thought Gwen. To prevent herself from having an existential crisis she remembered that she was out of mana and had to chug a mana potion to help with crowd control. Although she was dissapointed that the boss room was square and not a circle, this group has potential for some wacky ass strategies that may or may not actually work. Gwen threw her half eaten sweet roll across the room as an attempt to distract the goblins from hurting anyone else. Maybe they'd fight over it and eat it! Then the ogre caught it mid air and ate it, gaining +2 strength. "OH NOES" Gwen exclaimed! Since Gwen is still level three it doesn't take much time for her to fully restore her mana. She didn't even need to drink a potion and snowy raven didn't need to type that earlier but whatever. Oh at this point her mana is funny restored too. Gwen cast two fireball spells and shouted "Bring it on!"

BackSet Birdsie snowy raven SP3CT3R KAmber
(ooc: BackSet oh ok, oops)

 

[SP3CT3R]

"Actually, I was here the entire time," Derrick pointed out, as his gun warmed up for a charge shot. "It's just that my my existence wasn't mentioned in any previous posts, like in that one episode of Rick & Morty." He fired off his shot and hit the ogre right between the eyes. It didn't even flinch. "Whose richard do I have to inhale around here to get a headshot bonus?!" Derrick shouted as he, too, was launched across the room.

BackSet Birdsie Saint_John446 KAmber snowy raven

 

[BackSet]

Artemis pulled his sword out of the wall. "You don't get headshot bonuses!" He called to Derrick. "This isn't call of duty!" He paused for a moment, slashing a goblin and landing a hit on it. "And are we not even going to question the fact that there's a robot in the fantasy genre!"

SP3CT3R snowy raven KAmber Saint_John446 Birdsie

 

[KAmber]

"PENGUINS!"
Allard raised his wand and penguins popped out, his penguin rain spell affecting the whole room. A level one penguin rain only causes slight nips on the head, hypothermia, and cuteness, but it WAS a good penguin summoner. He then directed the penguins toward the ogre and they tried to grapple him with their combined strengths of 2. The ogre hit the penguins, turning them into dust. "that was one of my only 3 spell slots."
Allard kinda just walks over and hits the ogre with his wand, dealing three damage.
Total damage: 8

 

[Saint_John446]

Todd jumped to his feet and used Allard's penguins as cover to charge forward and stab one of the Goblins, letting out a groan as it didn't die and instead fought back with a machete. "Dammit, die!" he shouted, pulling his sword from the Goblin and hitting it with his shield, doing exactly nothing except staggering the Goblin. Unfortunately, that was about when another Goblin smashed its weapon into his shin, knocking him to his knees.
"Really? So, what, Edgeworth over there doesn't warrant any questions despite obviously being the best parody I've ever seen, but you want to question the robot?" Todd kicked at the Goblins and rolled away, curling up against a wall with his shield raised. "What about the Elf that I'm convinced is half penguin? There are so many things wrong with this game that I can't believe you can pick just one to question!"

BackSet KAmber SP3CT3R snowy raven Birdsie

 

[BackSet]

"Hey, they at least fit the genre!" Artemis yelled as his sword clanged off a shield. "Although why there's a spell that makes it rain penguins is a rather good question. What kind of person makes up something like that." At that he slashed his sword down through a gobkins skull.

*insert drunk wizard cutaway gag here*

 

[KAmber]

"i am a pureblood earscrub elf. and why? PENGUINS!"
Penguin bolt. Nuff said. A phantom penguin hits the troll in the snout, dealing 12 damage and... nope, the push failed.

 

[SP3CT3R]

"There can be robots in the fantasy genre!" Derrick shot back. "There's the Warforged in D&D! Also, watch out!" He tossed a metal orb on the ground that surrounded the ogre and its minions in a blue light and stopped them from moving. "And, not to mention, one of the Seven Epic Adventurers was a superhero. That's even farther from fantasy than sci-fi. Anyways, that thing I threw was a Pause Button, which will prevent the enemies from moving but makes them invulnerable. We gotta talk strategy."


BackSet Birdsie Saint_John446 KAmber snowy raven

 

[snowy raven]

Gwen was aggressively throwing fireballs at goblins, she missed most of her targets and was struggling to build a c-combo! She used up almost all of her stamina throwing them. She exhausted herself and her arms were like weights. She posed a kawaii pose and took a quick glance around the room. Edgeworth was AFK, Allard was raining penguins, and Todd was being knocked around by goblins. To top off Derrick had a magical...pause button?!?! Is this a hack or what?!? thought Gwen. But anyway, he was right about a new strategy. Mages shouldn't be in the front lines and everyone was just doing their own thing at this point. "Yeah, let's get in formation and cover each other's blind spots." said Gwen.
BackSet Birdsie Saint_John446 KAmber SP3CT3R

 

[KAmber]

"PENGUINS"
Allard made a bunch of penguins that could effectively surround the entire group with little swords and shields.