Heinrich Saedor, The old Dog

Solemn Jester

Smiling God of Fools
Name: Heinrich Saedor

Alias/Title/Nickname(s): The old dog, The blood of god



Height: 6’5




Weight: 280 lbs (pure muscle)



Age: Supposedly he's only 23, although he doesn't look it

Date of Birth/Horoscope: was born on February 5th

Gender: Male

Sexuality: straight


Crush/Lover: open

Race: Genetically modified human

Appearance:

Occupation: Formerly a Bodyguard, and butler for some very high class individuals, now he's come to help his family with the shop.

Social Class: Middle class

Affiliation: oh I don't approve of all this gang nonsense. Someone could get hurt over something as silly as turf.
(A former member of a secret religious organization of assassins known as the body of god)

Rank: None (formerly one of the heads of the Body of God organization, known as the Blood of God)

Likes: Cleaning,

Helping others,

Manners,

Respectful people

Hot cocoa

Sweet foods

Cute, and well behaved things

Orderly things


Dislikes:

Rude, or disrespectful people

Spicy or sour foods

Cigarette smoke

Booze ( even though he's been known to hold his own when drinking on the occasion)

Fighting

Fears: Letting someone he cares about die, and having to face his past.

A dirty living space, or a stain he can't clean

Personality: Heinrich is everything you'd expect of a gentleman. He's helpful, polite, ridiculously polite. He's dislikes fighting, and is usually quiet, not speaking unless he finds it necessary. He doesn't act his age in the least. He seems more like an old man in all honesty. He's very moralistic, and honorable. Almost comparable to a knight, although he doesn't follow some knights code, or go around in a suit of armor. But he can often be chivalrous, and won't stand for others misbehaving when he's around.


He's responsible, intelligent, tolerant of others, and likes to keep a tight schedule. He doesn't like wasting any time, and tries to instill his virtues on others. He's a truly intelligent, and proud man. He cares for his family, enough to break his schedule, and go to their aid if he must. Which is saying something, as he takes his schedule very seriously. He is very cool headed, not easily infuriated even when antagonized by others. Very few things can antagonize him, but when he does get angry it's best you stay out of his way, or run.





Backstory: Heinrich was raised in a pretty poor home. With his sister Sierra, who he often bickered with. They never quite saw eye to eye, and this caused some disputes among them. So when their father passed away, things between them only grew worse. After a while their cousins came to live with them. Which helped alot, considering the two could hardly speak to one another without getting into a fist fight. But one day Heinrich, and Sierra were kidnapped. Purely for the purpose of fulfilling sick twisted goal of theirs. At least that's what Heinrich believed. He had tried to stop them, but they had outnumbered them, and surprised him. They took a sledgehammer to his left leg, shattering it. After words then stabbed it several times just good measure. He was barely able to crawl, and would have surely died had it not been for Sierra. She had found a way out, a passage. Their captors had obviously gotten careless, when choosing the location of their hideout. Otherwise they'd have made sure there were no such things. Heinrich crawled through first, duh to his injured leg. Then waited on the other side, for his sister to arrive. But their captors had returned, and dragged Sierra away. Leaving Heinrich on his own, unable to help. He sat against the wall listening to his sister's screams, and pleas for help.



It was that day that he knew he couldn't stay there. He had to leave, get stronger, then come back, and get his revenge. So after a difficult, and treacherous crawl to safety. Heinrich found himself at the door of a seemingly mad scientist. He took Heinrich, and without his permission preformed some rather extreme operations on him. When Heinrich woke up he felt stronger, like a new man. The scientist explained what he had done, and Heinrich while he felt violated. Thanked the man for saving his life, although his leg wasn't quite saveable. It was still permanently damaged, but the scientist gave him some special pain pills, which along with the genetic modifications would allow Heinrich to move about normally.



After this Heinrich returned to his cousins, informing them of the terrible news. He then decided to leave Hell city. Going to live with his Aunt in Scotland, where the majority of their family was originally from. He just couldn't face his sister's death, believing he could have done something about it. While living with his aunt he was taught the ways of a servant. As his aunt was a maid, and he often had to work with her.


Years passed, and he began to become exceptionally talented at cleaning, his manners, and personality improved as well. Eventually he was a perfect gentleman, and this caught the attention of some of those who his aunt worked for. Several began offering him things, due to his large size a few offered to teach him how to fight. So he took up their offers, wanting to become stronger in order to exact his revenge on those who had wronged him so long ago. After a while he began improving drastically, he became so good at fighting that he caught the attention of a secret order. They saw his desire for retribution, his hatred for evil, and the filth of the world.



So when he was eighteen he joined them, and by the time he was twenty he had one of the leading member of the Body of God. Know as the blood of god, and gifted a highly advanced weapon known as the sin bearers. With these weapons, and his new found connection he found the men who had killed his sister. He let all his rage, and fury out on them. Breaking them slowly, painfully, meticulously. Making sure they suffered for what they did, and even in death remembered who had sent them to hell. After he was done, he sat against a wall, covered in blood, and feeling worse than before. He had let rage consume him, gotten his revenge, and his sister was still dead. It was all so pointless, so unfulfilling. It left him bearing the full guilt of his sister's death, and hating violence. But with the men responsible for his sister's demise dead he went back to Scotland. Deciding to travel, and work as a Butler for a while. Although due to his size, and training he often found himself multitasking as a bodyguard. It didn't help that his clients were all high class people. So they were constantly targets for assassination. But he always managed to protect them, and keep a tidy house while doing so. Not a drop of blood on the floor. Now at the age of twenty three he finds himself heading back to the root of all his trouble. Hell city, where it all started. He didn't mind though, he had changed, and he was going to stay with some family. His cousins, who ran a store called the Rainy Traveller. He just hoped he could he of assistance. He didn't want to feel like a nuisance. Well it looks like the bus has stopped, time to go greet the family.







Gear/Weapons: sin bearers: these are two crosses/brass knuckle type weapons, but they are highly advanced. Having the ability to manipulate the user's blood, and the blood of those around them. (This only applies to people who have a wound that's bleeding, or are bleeding out he cannot manipulate blood still inside people's bodies, although he can pull it out of them slowly.) He can use this to manifest weapons, or other objects out of blood.


Luggage: Heinrich has brought with him his trusty luggage. Filled with all his cleaning supplies, as well as the other essentials that he always takes with him.







Strengths: Super strength: he's much stronger than most people. Mainly due to his genetic enhancements. He can lifted or break through things that most people would need a pickaxe for.

Fighting Style: Boxing/brawling: He's had training in these two fighting styles. Mainly due to his upbringing. Over the years he's become a master of these two fighting styles. Able to Duke it out with the best of them.

Super durable/ lots of stamina : He can take hits like no other, and has lots of stamina. It takes a lot to put this guy down. Even when he's beat to a blood pulp he still has the tenacity to stand back up and hold his ground.



Fighting genius: This is basically what it sounds like. He can fight with anyone, after fighting for about 30 minutes can pick up small parts of their fighting style. Changing his own techniques to counter, or block his foes attacks. He can do the same to better team up with someone. He truly is a fighting genius


(Is also a weakness)

Keen senses: duh to his genetic modifications he has stronger senses than most people, aside from other genetically modified human that is. He can hear, and smell things from up to mile away if he needs, although this can be very overbearing, even crippling him if the smells or noise is bad enough.







Weaknesses: Overly polite: He really is to nice, he won't throw the first punch. Even when angered, unless harm comes to someone he cares about, or he is forced into it he won't usually fight back.


Average speed, and agility: he's honestly not too fast. Sure he's physically fit for a human, and his genetics increase that by an impressive amount. But he's more the take hits, and dish them out kind of guy. He isn't really fast, or agile, well at least not when he's fighting. When he cleans however he somehow become incredibly agile, and fast. It probably has something to do with his training as a butler. But in battle his speed, and agility are nothing special.


Bad leg: Due to Heinrichs past his biggest weaknesses is his left leg. While he usually seems fine, not walking with any kind of limp, or it ever seeming to bother him it limits him in battle. Heinrich usually takes meds, and along with his genetics this usually helps to keep up appearances. But in battle a few good hits to the leg could easily send Heinrich toppling to the ground. It also limits his speed in battle, as has been stated.


Haunting: Heinrich feels a deep guilt for not being able to save his sister. They last split up on a bad occasion, and Heinrich was unable to save her from those who had kidnapped them. Whenever she is mentioned he always seems to change mood drastically, this can affect his fighting, or personality drastically. From him going into a depression, and losing all will to live. Or him going into a rage, and losing all sense of strategy, or technique. So rather than becoming some op rage monster like the Hulk, or Asura from Asura's wrath. Heinrichs fighting actually suffers when he grows angry.








Skills: cooking


Cleaning


Guarding


Tracking people down


Fighting









Achievements/Crimes Committed:
Punching a charging Elephant


Saving a high priority target from a group of terrorist while cleaning house


Scrubbing a mansion from head to toe with only a toothbrush in a matter of hours. (2 hours 30 minutes to be exact)


Making the best damn food this side of the equator







Theme Song:

Relationships With Other Characters:

Brother of Sierra Saedor (currently a ghost)



Cousin of Bismarck (currently a lil bitch)


And


Chuck Saedor


First cousin of Nikolas, and Phineas Saedor
 
Hey Solemn, you make a lot of characters who are borderline Sues, even having a few actual sues, but this dude is really crossing quite a few lines. If you really had so many issues with Bismark, specifically with him being a potential protagonist and all, you really shouldn't make a copy of him.
Now I know this thing that I'm doing seems along the lines of none of my business, who am I to judge your character, and what do I think I'm doing. I don't actually give a damn though. Lets just say I'm a role player who doesn't want to be in a crappy role play, someone who has made Mary Sues myself and have had the knowledge to either get rid of them or fix them, and honestly I think I'm bluntly telling you that this character sucks.
Let's start with your whole inferiority complex when it comes to one Bismark Donovan Saedor, shall we? I don't know what your problem is with this, and I quote, "lil bitch". I'm not saying you have to love Bismark, no one has to. However, you are a mess.
Heinrich is an obvious Gary Stu. He seems to try to copy all of Bismark's good qualities and lacks his flaws without replacing them with something else. Then there's his whole dislikes fighting but joins an assassin guild, dedicated enough to become a really skilled brawler, and he's trying to polite about it in the most ridiculous ways.
I understand what it's like to put too much into your characters, but this one is just a giant ruin without any dimensions. This needs to stop, and you really need to take a look at your characters and your irrational hated towards other people's creations.
 
Hey Solemn, you make a lot of characters who are borderline Sues, even having a few actual sues, but this dude is really crossing quite a few lines. If you really had so many issues with Bismark, specifically with him being a potential protagonist and all, you really shouldn't make a copy of him.
Now I know this thing that I'm doing seems along the lines of none of my business, who am I to judge your character, and what do I think I'm doing. I don't actually give a damn though. Lets just say I'm a role player who doesn't want to be in a crappy role play, someone who has made Mary Sues myself and have had the knowledge to either get rid of them or fix them, and honestly I think I'm bluntly telling you that this character sucks.
Let's start with your whole inferiority complex when it comes to one Bismark Donovan Saedor, shall we? I don't know what your problem is with this, and I quote, "lil bitch". I'm not saying you have to love Bismark, no one has to. However, you are a mess.
Heinrich is an obvious Gary Stu. He seems to try to copy all of Bismark's good qualities and lacks his flaws without replacing them with something else. Then there's his whole dislikes fighting but joins an assassin guild, dedicated enough to become a really skilled brawler, and he's trying to polite about it in the most ridiculous ways.
I understand what it's like to put too much into your characters, but this one is just a giant ruin without any dimensions. This needs to stop, and you really need to take a look at your characters and your irrational hated towards other people's creations.
Um excuse me? I don't have any hatred towards Bismarck. He's a great character, I just mess around with calling him a "lil bitch" and what not. Nor do I really care whos a protagonist because in hell city there isn't really meant to be a protagonist. Just a bunch of antagonist fighting one another. How many of my characters have you even seen to say any of them are Mary sues? (Honestly asking because I haven't noticed any were) Heinrich is just similiar to Bismarck due to his relation to him. He's a member of the Saedor family, and as such I've given him some of the Saedor personality traits. He also didn't hate fighting before he joined the assassin guild. It wasn't until after he got his revenge that he began really hating violence. I'm not saying he's perfect but most characters aren't. He has plenty of his own flaws, and I'd honestly appreciate it if you kept you criticism to yourself unless you have helpful suggestions as to how to improve him. Because id happily listen to those, they would be alot more help than you commenting on one of my ocs and spouting off about what you assume about me.
 
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If I may cut into this conversation, I might add that there are a few flaws to Heinrich's sheet. It's slightly ironic that someone would hate fighting so much, and yet be a skilled brawler and strategist in fighting--and all at 23, which is pretty young. I mean, it doesn't make much sense. Going with what Ruler said, he does share a large amount of Bismarck's traits, but he lacks dimensions.

I hate to say it, but you really need to work on adding more than just one side to a character. I acknowledge that you're basing his persona a lot off of his FC, but let's try and discover different aspects. Things other than cleaning and brawling that make him unique. Let's try to make this a more memorable character with quirks. What does he do outside of cooking...cleaning....brawling??? What music does he listen to? What foods does he absolutely despise? Let's consider Bismarck's sheet for just a minute without copying it exactly. He loves Coldplay. He has read the Harry Potter series at least 10 times. He has a strange obsession with strawberries. Little things like that really make a character come alive, trust me, and they are pertinent to the development of them later. Consider his opinions on the other characters more, which may require some reading up. Surely he, a supposed gentleman, wouldn't consider Bismarck a "lil bitch" and surely he would have more to say about Sierra than "currently a ghost". And let's not forget Chuck, his other cousin, and Luce, who Bismarck always hung out with as a kid.

Also. I hate to say this, too, but the achievements are unrealistic. Stopping a charging elephant with his bare hands? Come on, Solemn, I know you're smarter than this. You must consider that he would get impaled by the tusks. Plus elephants run at 25 mph, and I doubt that Heinrich can run at equal speed, seeing as one of his weaknesses is being slow. Humans cannot outrun elephants unless they have super speed.

One other thing that must be noted is how you are constantly contradicting yourself at some points in the CS. One of these contradictions is within the dislikes, where you stated that he dislikes booze, although he has been known to hold his own when drinking on the occasion. So you're basically saying that someone has forced alcohol down his throat but he has been able to hold his own, for if one dislikes alcohol, they are very unlikely to drink it of their own accord. Along with this, his fighting style in general is ironic, and all because his dislikes state that he hates fighting. Therefore he would never have trained for so long to learn a certain brawling style and become a master of it at 23.

Don't be afraid to break away from the personality of your faceclaim and that of the typical Saedor. By doing so, you are limiting your creativity and ruining the chance of making a well-rounded character.
 
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If I may cut into this conversation, I might add that there are a few flaws to Heinrich's sheet. It's slightly ironic that someone would hate fighting so much, and yet be a skilled brawler and strategist in fighting--and all at 23, which is pretty young. I mean, it doesn't make much sense. Going with what Ruler said, he does share a large amount of Bismarck's traits, but he lacks dimensions.

I hate to say it, but you really need to work on adding more than just one side to a character. I acknowledge that you're basing his persona a lot off of his FC, but let's try and discover different aspects. Things other than cleaning and brawling that make him unique. Let's try to make this a more memorable character with quirks. What does he do outside of cooking...cleaning....brawling??? What music does he listen to? What foods does he absolutely despise? Let's consider Bismarck's sheet for just a minute without copying it exactly. He loves Coldplay. He has read the Harry Potter series at least 10 times. He has a strange obsession with strawberries. Little things like that really make a character come alive, trust me, and they are pertinent to the development of them later. Consider his opinions on the other characters more, which may require some reading up. Surely he, a supposed gentleman, wouldn't consider Bismarck a "lil bitch" and surely he would have more to say about Sierra than "currently a ghost". And let's not forget Chuck, his other cousin, and Luce, who Bismarck always hung out with as a kid.

Also. I hate to say this, too, but the achievements are unrealistic. Stopping a charging elephant with his bare hands? Come on, Solemn, I know you're smarter than this. You must consider that he would get impaled by the tusks. Plus elephants run at 25 mph, and I doubt that Heinrich can run at equal speed, seeing as one of his weaknesses is being slow. Humans cannot outrun elephants unless they have super speed.

One other thing that must be noted is how you are constantly contradicting yourself at some points in the CS. One of these contradictions is within the dislikes, where you stated that he dislikes booze, although he has been known to hold his own when drinking on the occasion. So you're basically saying that someone has forced alcohol down his throat but he has been able to hold his own, for if one dislikes alcohol, they are very unlikely to drink it of their own accord. Along with this, his fighting style in general is ironic, and all because his dislikes state that he hates fighting. Therefore he would never have trained for so long to learn a certain brawling style and become a master of it at 23.

Don't be afraid to break away from the personality of your faceclaim and that of the typical Saedor. By doing so, you are limiting your creativity and ruining the chance of making a well-rounded character.
Okay for one I asked you about the achievements when I made them you were on the doc and said they were fine. Don't go backspacing on me now! Two as I've said he didn't develop a hatred for fighting until after he got his revenge. By then he had already joined the assassin and been trained to the point he mastered those particular style of fighting. As for how quickly he picked them up well that's because he was oddly naturally talented at it. Plus he trained hard due to craving revenge. Although I will say this, he doesn't hate fighting as much as violence. As I've said he will fight given the occasion, but I feel that due to his work as a bodyguard he would often be required to fight so yeah I think I'll clarify he hates violence more than anything. So he tries to protect others due to his guilt about letting his sister die. As for the elephant I didn't say he stopped it, I said he punched it. Right in it's big elephant face! Maybe it stunned the elephant, or caused it to change direction or maybe the elephant still gored Heinrich...I honestly never thought of it. But he didn't hold the elephant back with his hands. But I shall work on Heinrich, you must realize he is a baby, and will grow through story development.
 

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