Atavan-Halen
Jade/Mei
hey all! u can call me either jade or mei, i am 21 years old. my pronouns are kinda a mix up, but mostly it/they/he works and i consider myself to be genderfluid nonbinary. im in college full time/working so please bear with me if replies are a bit slow. ive been roleplaying since middle school with varying degrees of success. i lost motivation for a lot of it over time, but honestly i really miss writing a lot! i promise my grammar is 100x better ic than ooc lmao. if im really invested, i might get back into coding (the urge for aesthetics screams my name) but it honestly depends on how much time and spoons i have! i larp and do ttrpg in my spare time for now!
regarding writing, i can write up to novella. most of my original characters i write are queer in some way, even in their wildly varying settings. i will always be down for pretty much any genre. whether its original or fandom, im here for it. canon, selfship, au, crossovers, loosely related spinoffs, etc. i love it all. im really interested in writing as a whole. i love analyzing situations and trying to put myself in a characters headspace. when i write, i want to go all in. does that sound like ur kinda jam? keep reading for the list of genres and fandoms!
genres:
fantasy
sci-fi
horror
romance/slice of life
mythology
fandoms:
dragon age
mass effect
slenderverse
d&d (mostly 5e) and baldurs gate 3
rwby
doctor who
star trek
stargate
firefly
fnaf
life is strange
riordanverse
disney's hercules
all versions of alice in wonderland
and probably a longer shot on these but...do visual novels and text based games have a fandom? if so:
oathbreaker by rinmaru (and shoutout to those that remember its predecessor, ascension)
superstition by 13leagues
if ur curious on anything more in depth, please feel free to message! i might add to this or make it look nicer at a later date, but i just wanted to get something out there, yknow? apologies for any possible typos (i havent slept lol)
edit: adding some roleplay examples because i realize thats probably important lmao
regarding writing, i can write up to novella. most of my original characters i write are queer in some way, even in their wildly varying settings. i will always be down for pretty much any genre. whether its original or fandom, im here for it. canon, selfship, au, crossovers, loosely related spinoffs, etc. i love it all. im really interested in writing as a whole. i love analyzing situations and trying to put myself in a characters headspace. when i write, i want to go all in. does that sound like ur kinda jam? keep reading for the list of genres and fandoms!
genres:
fantasy
sci-fi
horror
romance/slice of life
mythology
fandoms:
dragon age
mass effect
slenderverse
d&d (mostly 5e) and baldurs gate 3
rwby
doctor who
star trek
stargate
firefly
fnaf
life is strange
riordanverse
disney's hercules
all versions of alice in wonderland
and probably a longer shot on these but...do visual novels and text based games have a fandom? if so:
oathbreaker by rinmaru (and shoutout to those that remember its predecessor, ascension)
superstition by 13leagues
if ur curious on anything more in depth, please feel free to message! i might add to this or make it look nicer at a later date, but i just wanted to get something out there, yknow? apologies for any possible typos (i havent slept lol)
edit: adding some roleplay examples because i realize thats probably important lmao
A distant thrumming echoed through the dark, dank streets of Oxford. Rhythmic, clock-like, but deep and distorted like it was coming from the very bones of the alleyways. The raven haired girl had left the cheap produce on the cobblestone; forgotten in a haste. Her ears and heart pounded in sync. It was…familiar. Slowly she followed it through the narrow gaps between the houses. Once or twice, perhaps, Alice could have sworn she saw a vaguely familiar shape with each thrum. A flash of white rabbit hide. A streak of blue and grey not too disimilar from a scruffy stray cat.
Curiouser and curiouser.
Hands trailed from the bumps in the cold and damp stones of the houses to try to ground her head. It wasn’t even any particular thoughts. Her mind was a coil of anxious energy. The repetitive noise had her guarded. Cautious. It was as if she wasn’t holding in her breath, but more-so it couldn’t escape for fear of the unknown. Whatever was lurking in the dark. The stones had become more uneven in her path. Overgrowth of weeds and ivy stood in her way, along with the narrowest and darkest gap yet. She couldn’t even see between these buildings. But the thought of not knowing scared her more.
With a hesitant hand, Alice braced it against the wall across from her as she slid between. After a few steps through, she would be completely in the dark. She looked up after a little more than a minute. The anxiety caused bile to creep into her throat. The thrumming was sounding more like distant words now and the evening sky was gone. Lost between the buildings. ‘Whoever built these outer buildings got lazier and lazier. This wouldn’t be very helpful for anyone trying to do repairs…’ Somehow, the thought that she wouldn’t be the only one ever inconvenienced by this brought her a strange sense of calm.
It wasn’t long before the darkness on her right revealed more details. It wasn’t much lighter, per say, which Alice reasoned was why it seemed like an endless abyss. An empty clearing before…trees? “All the way to Berkshire, no wonder it’s pitch black. How in heavens name did I wander this far without noticing?” As she stepped out in the clearing, past the buildings and past the first line of trees, the noise stopped. An eerie silence fell. Not even the sound of fauna or breeze. A small pond lay before her, it’s surface was still. As she stepped closer, something gleamed just at the edge of the water. She sank slowly to her knees to pick it up. The water was cold, but oddly enough, the object felt warm as she dredged it up from the surrounding pond plants and out of the water.
A teaspoon…the end reminded her of a clock hand. The small hour hand of her father’s clock. She almost hadn’t noticed the change of scenery in the reflection below her. A younger and blonder girl sat with tears in her blue eyes, looking at the spoon while she looked at her. A very uncomfortable feeling crawled around under her skin. It was almost like her, but it wasn’t? It felt like hearing her own voice. It was all wrong. Her free hand went to touch the reflection when the other whipped her head towards her. Anger glinted in those tears. A hand shot from the depths and grabbed her throat. It pulled Alice through the cold surface, which she braced for water, but there was none. And she was falling again through cold empty space.
[- 𓍊𖦹𓋼꩜ Ⱄ ꩜𓋼𖦹𓍊 -]
Falling was a familiar and comforting feeling for Alice. Something she sought at the bottoms of bottles after a long day at the theater. Numb. Weightless. Out of her control. One of those bottles passed by her. She tapped it absent-mindedly. A couple playbills and scripts floated freely past her outstretched fingers. Books, broken teacups, loose change, a pen and inkwell. Eventually her own bed floated by. On it rested her old rabbit. Not her first, no, the one the Nurse stitched up. A soft tawny material with a swath of red where it was ruined. Her hand clasped it’s arm as the head of the bed spun closer to her.
“I would like a piece of home this time ‘round, I should think. Who knows what awaits me this time. Do you think it will be back to normal again, Mr. Rabbit?” It was a rhetorical question, of course. There was nothing normal about Wonderland. But there definitely was a state of both good and bad. Both of which she had witnessed of the course of her life. She stared at the rabbit’s one good eye. “From the garden we’ve tended and into the garden we’ve neglected, probably fraught with weeds of chaos again. I hope the Vorpal Blade is where I left it if things get too difficult…”
She looked up towards the ground that was approaching. Anyone in their right mind would’ve thought the impact might at least break a few bones, but Alice wasn’t exactly ever that, was she? “Right mind indeed,” she muttered after dusting herself off. Her wardrobe had changed again, her dress back to how it usually presented itself in this world. Reaching into the apron pocket in front to secure her rabbit, there was a key. A key…
She looked up again and instead of an unending black abyss, there was a ladder leading up to a wooden hatch. The tiniest halo of sunlight leaked from the rim. It must not have been built properly to hold a tight seal. At the very least, it gave Alice some hope. Sunlight was normally good. Right? Surprising considering her last few ventures within Wonderland.
A small leap upwards and she pulled herself towards the first rung of the ladder (with a small bit of effort– even though she was far from dainty). As her hand slipped the key into the lock above her, she hesitated. What could Alice come to expect from her world this time? A slight frown formed as she turned it and pushed upwards.
Little did she know the abandoned well she was crawling out of, into the sunlight, wasn’t her Wonderland. It did of course feel off to her. How couldn’t it? It was a lot more lively and vibrant. She couldn’t place her finger on what exactly was wrong though. Maybe it had just changed and grown with her. At the very least she could seek someone out to get a vague answer. But who she would ask first, now that was a mystery. Her first quest it would seem. And so Alice (but not quite the right one) set off towards the woods.
Curiouser and curiouser.
Hands trailed from the bumps in the cold and damp stones of the houses to try to ground her head. It wasn’t even any particular thoughts. Her mind was a coil of anxious energy. The repetitive noise had her guarded. Cautious. It was as if she wasn’t holding in her breath, but more-so it couldn’t escape for fear of the unknown. Whatever was lurking in the dark. The stones had become more uneven in her path. Overgrowth of weeds and ivy stood in her way, along with the narrowest and darkest gap yet. She couldn’t even see between these buildings. But the thought of not knowing scared her more.
With a hesitant hand, Alice braced it against the wall across from her as she slid between. After a few steps through, she would be completely in the dark. She looked up after a little more than a minute. The anxiety caused bile to creep into her throat. The thrumming was sounding more like distant words now and the evening sky was gone. Lost between the buildings. ‘Whoever built these outer buildings got lazier and lazier. This wouldn’t be very helpful for anyone trying to do repairs…’ Somehow, the thought that she wouldn’t be the only one ever inconvenienced by this brought her a strange sense of calm.
It wasn’t long before the darkness on her right revealed more details. It wasn’t much lighter, per say, which Alice reasoned was why it seemed like an endless abyss. An empty clearing before…trees? “All the way to Berkshire, no wonder it’s pitch black. How in heavens name did I wander this far without noticing?” As she stepped out in the clearing, past the buildings and past the first line of trees, the noise stopped. An eerie silence fell. Not even the sound of fauna or breeze. A small pond lay before her, it’s surface was still. As she stepped closer, something gleamed just at the edge of the water. She sank slowly to her knees to pick it up. The water was cold, but oddly enough, the object felt warm as she dredged it up from the surrounding pond plants and out of the water.
A teaspoon…the end reminded her of a clock hand. The small hour hand of her father’s clock. She almost hadn’t noticed the change of scenery in the reflection below her. A younger and blonder girl sat with tears in her blue eyes, looking at the spoon while she looked at her. A very uncomfortable feeling crawled around under her skin. It was almost like her, but it wasn’t? It felt like hearing her own voice. It was all wrong. Her free hand went to touch the reflection when the other whipped her head towards her. Anger glinted in those tears. A hand shot from the depths and grabbed her throat. It pulled Alice through the cold surface, which she braced for water, but there was none. And she was falling again through cold empty space.
[- 𓍊𖦹𓋼꩜ Ⱄ ꩜𓋼𖦹𓍊 -]
Falling was a familiar and comforting feeling for Alice. Something she sought at the bottoms of bottles after a long day at the theater. Numb. Weightless. Out of her control. One of those bottles passed by her. She tapped it absent-mindedly. A couple playbills and scripts floated freely past her outstretched fingers. Books, broken teacups, loose change, a pen and inkwell. Eventually her own bed floated by. On it rested her old rabbit. Not her first, no, the one the Nurse stitched up. A soft tawny material with a swath of red where it was ruined. Her hand clasped it’s arm as the head of the bed spun closer to her.
“I would like a piece of home this time ‘round, I should think. Who knows what awaits me this time. Do you think it will be back to normal again, Mr. Rabbit?” It was a rhetorical question, of course. There was nothing normal about Wonderland. But there definitely was a state of both good and bad. Both of which she had witnessed of the course of her life. She stared at the rabbit’s one good eye. “From the garden we’ve tended and into the garden we’ve neglected, probably fraught with weeds of chaos again. I hope the Vorpal Blade is where I left it if things get too difficult…”
She looked up towards the ground that was approaching. Anyone in their right mind would’ve thought the impact might at least break a few bones, but Alice wasn’t exactly ever that, was she? “Right mind indeed,” she muttered after dusting herself off. Her wardrobe had changed again, her dress back to how it usually presented itself in this world. Reaching into the apron pocket in front to secure her rabbit, there was a key. A key…
She looked up again and instead of an unending black abyss, there was a ladder leading up to a wooden hatch. The tiniest halo of sunlight leaked from the rim. It must not have been built properly to hold a tight seal. At the very least, it gave Alice some hope. Sunlight was normally good. Right? Surprising considering her last few ventures within Wonderland.
A small leap upwards and she pulled herself towards the first rung of the ladder (with a small bit of effort– even though she was far from dainty). As her hand slipped the key into the lock above her, she hesitated. What could Alice come to expect from her world this time? A slight frown formed as she turned it and pushed upwards.
Little did she know the abandoned well she was crawling out of, into the sunlight, wasn’t her Wonderland. It did of course feel off to her. How couldn’t it? It was a lot more lively and vibrant. She couldn’t place her finger on what exactly was wrong though. Maybe it had just changed and grown with her. At the very least she could seek someone out to get a vague answer. But who she would ask first, now that was a mystery. Her first quest it would seem. And so Alice (but not quite the right one) set off towards the woods.
She smiled a bit to herself. It wasn't completely apparent why she was able to grow so close to Evan in such a short time, but it felt like a miracle they both needed. They just happened to need someone to talk to, to rely on after all that had happened, and...poof, there he was. She knew she was usually stubborn. It was a bad trait that had fucked her over many times. But this was a feeling she hadn't experienced before. She didn't want to say she was feeling codependent, as that was not in her nature. Hell, you could say she was skilled at pushing people away and dealing with things her own way. Whether it was the hard way or not. But it was just so...easy for her to be around him. Maybe it was because he was similar to her, a soul that called out to her amongst all of the chaos. Or maybe it was his personality. The calm, humorous, and genuine caring nature that she hadn't been able to (or admittedly, let herself) experience acted like a balm to her mental and emotional wounds. She wondered if it was the same for him. The darkness they carried wasn't something they easily showed others, a mix of not wanting to tangle others in their dangerous web and also not wanting to be shunned for it. It seemed to coil itself up in her until it lashed out. But now, it just seemed to softly release itself whenever they talked. Types of conversations she hadn't had since...Jessa. She felt the burden leave her shoulders every time they opened up a little bit more. Everything felt a little less hopeless, the guilt gnawed away at her a little less each time. Of course, that doesn't mean they knew everything about each other. There were subjects they hadn't broached. And while she could see how much better he looked, how much lighter his laugh sounded, there was still something uneasy that flickered behind his blue eyes...and it made her want to support him with everything she had.
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