Every Ending is a Beginning

[Kasper]

Hearing Adeline inquire about his motives in helping her caught Calyx off guard. He took a swallow of macaroni before answering, partially because he was starving and partially because he needed time to think about his response. "I guess," he started, "I think Rose had something to do with it. Ever since she got real depressed, I've been able to notice the signs in other people. You had the look," he explained. "And I knew that if I drove by without doing anything, you would have been dead by now, and it would fuck with everyone you know. Really, it would. That's how she died, you know. Rose. She was my best friend." He took a second to compose himself, as his emotions had begun to get volatile.


"Really, it's just a bad way to go. There's a lot of shame in it. A lot of hatred. A lot of fear. A lot of stuff that you miss out on later. For example," he added teasingly, "If you hadn't gotten away from that bridge, you wouldn't be having this fantastic bowl of macaroni and cheese." He allowed himself a second to smile at her, waiting for her response.

 

[ChibiMonkey]

Adeline listened to his response and explanation, trying to understand it, and maybe where he was coming from. She wanted to know more about him, to try and understand why he thought it would be okay to bring her here, to save her. She just didn't understand. Staring down at her bowl, she silently took a bite of the macaroni. Despite his attempt of joking and trying to cheer her up, she really couldn't manage even a smile. She was sure the food was good as he said, but honestly it didn't taste like much of anything to her. It wasn't that it was his cooking. She was sure it was her mood souring the taste.


"I mentioned it before...but not many people would be that upset if I died" She said, taking another bite of her food "I haven't talked to my parents in years, so they probably wouldn't even know. Maybe a few friends would care...but they would get over it. But years from now they'll completely forget about me, and who I am. I can definitely think of a few people who surely wouldn't care....one in particular..." she spoke, muttering the last part to herself.

 

[Kasper]

As Adeline spoke, Calyx watched her expressions. She still looked just as confused as before he had responded. He could feel his sadness swelling his heart, poisoning his chest with its intensity. "You know, I really don't think you understand," Calyx said softly. "I know you think that no one would care. But losing a child is the worst thing that most parents can imagine. Even just the thought of it being a possibility can tear a person apart. And it's not just parents. Coworkers, friends, aquaintantances, hell, even strangers."


He looked back up at her, trying to make her feel something with his next words. "No one would forget you. Sure, they might deal with it better as time passes, but you never forget this kind of thing. No matter how worthless you think you are, there's a world filled with people who would never want this for you. And I know - " He sighed. "I know that this isn't going to change your mind. You're going to wake up, and you'll probably feel like shit. But you're not going to kill yourself, if I have any say in the matter." He shoveled some more macaroni in his mouth, despite not feeling very hungry anymore.

 

[ChibiMonkey]

She tried to understand when he said that she didn't, and she looked up from her food, looking at him as she could tell how hard he was trying to get across to her that people would care, people wouldn't forget and that it would certainly effect them in some manner. She frowned, feeling bad as she could tell that he was getting worked up over this, trying to get across to her how important her life really was, even if she couldn't see it right now. And he was right. She really couldn't see it, but she would at least attempt to, for this strangers sake.


"I'm sorry" she said quietly, taking another bite of her food as silence ensued the table once more. She didn't say anything more for the time being. She didn't know how she could move on with her life. Even if people cared and would worry, she didn't know what to do with herself. All she had done was work and live for Leon for the past several years. But now that he was gone, not even giving her time to adjust or anything to prepare for this sudden change of life events, she was left like a stranded puppy, new to the world and all alone with no where to go, or nothing to do.

 

[Kasper]

"Don't be sorry. It isn't your fault. Isn't anybody's fault," he muttered, quietly enough that she probably hadn't heard. He let the silence continue, recomposing himself and filling his stomach some more.


He glanced up and observed her, taking in her features and habits. Her hair was still damp, and instead of silver like it had appeared in the moonlight, it appeared now to be more of a minty green. Her eyes were a deep amber hazel hue, though right now they were dark and glazed over. Her entire face just had sadness etched into it, and it broke his heart to see someone feel like that.


He wanted to know her story, but didn't want to trigger her by prying. If and when she wanted to share it, he would be available to hear. But he wouldn't force it. The last thing that he wanted was to endanger her mental state again to the point where her safety was at stake. He looked back down at his food, pushing it around with his fork.

 

[ChibiMonkey]

She just nodded her head lightly in response when he said she didn't have to be sorry. She honestly didn't really know what else to say. She just stared at her food, occasionally taking a bite, but mostly pushing it around. She really wasn't that hungry, even before this conversation. She didn't want to worry the male further though by making it seem that she ate nothing. She had the feeling he'd be the type to make sure she ate if she wasn't. Taking on last bite of her food, she stood up.


"Thank you for the food. I'll clean it up" she offered, and before he could protest about her being a guest and not cleaning, she clarified that she wanted to, and really, she honestly did. "Please, it'll give me something to do" she said, as she took her bowl to the sink, scraping the food off and cleaning it silently at the sink.

 

[Kasper]

Adeline offered to clean up after the meal, and before he could get out a word of protest, she stated that she really wanted to do this. "Thank you," Calyx said, watching as she flushed the food away. He felt a little bit guilty to just sit back, but anything that might help her feel better was worth a small amount of discomfort.


He stood, leaning on the wall leading to the hallway. "Hey, if you need anything at all, just let me know. Don't worry about waking me up, I'm an insomniac anyway," he told her, giving her a small smile.

 

[ChibiMonkey]

As she gathered the dishes once he was finished eating, she was glad that he would let her clean them up. She could tell it was a bit reluctantly, but he gave in. She nodded her head in thanks, proceeding to clean the dishes. She wanted something to do, anything. Despite being tired, she was afraid to go to sleep, because once she was in bed she would have nothing to preoccupy her mind to keep herself from thinking about Leon.


As she finished cleaning, she heard Calyx and what he said, she nodded lightly "Thank you" she spoke softly, standing there awkwardly for a few moments "I think I'll go to sleep now..." she murmured. She didn't know if she actually could get to sleep, but she wanted to be alone. Even if she knew it wasn't a good idea for her mental state to lock herself in solitude. Ignoring her better judgement, she bid goodnight to the man she'd just met that night, before going to the guest room - his sisters old room, which she now was using.

 

[Kasper]

"Good night, then," Calyx said, his voice quiet. He turned off the hall light, expecting her to be able to find her way back to his sister's room from basic depth perception. He left his door wide open, which he didn't often do, but he wanted to be available in case Adeline needed something. He was probably going overboard with this whole thing. He had just taken in a suicidal woman who probably only was staying with him because she felt obligated, and now was at her beck and call. He shook his head, as if it would help him make sense of the day.


Calyx climbed into his bed. For a long time he lay there, just staring blankly at the wall. He had already taken 10mg of melatonin, but it wasn't seeming to do him any good. He wondered what he would do tomorrow with the woman, and even tonight. What would he do if she decided she wasn't safe? What would he do if she bolted in the middle of the night? What would he do if she had hurt herself? His mind was buffeted by constant waves of negative thoughts. He did his best to try to get rid of them, but it was no improvement.

 

[ChibiMonkey]

Making her way to the guest bedroom, Adeline walked inside, seeing Calyx go to his own room, she shut the door to hers as she moved over to the bed. She sat down on the edge, just staring around the room for a few minutes, before sighing heavily. She felt fear and anxiety creep into her thoughts, now all by herself with nothing to occupy her mind, no one to keep her company. It was then, as Leon haunted her thoughts as she tried to sleep, that she realized these past few hours with the stranger she hadn't thought of the blond nearly as much as she had before meeting Calyx, or even now.


But now nothing was there to protect her from her own mind, and she bit her lip as she rolled over onto her side, hugging a pillow as though it would add some comfort. It was the first night. The first night since Leon left her. And the first night without sleeping beside him in over five years. She found herself scared, as tears poured from her eyes, and she buried her face into the pillow to try and quiet her sobs that night.


Needless to say, Adeline really didn't get much sleep that night, though she had finally shut her eyes for a light rest by the time the sun started to rise over the horizon and signal the start of a new day. It was a rather bright and warm sun too, contrasting to the storm that drew the night before.

 

[Kasper]

Calyx drifted off to sleep about two hours before the sun rose again, then reawakened as it filtered through his window and frickin' blinded him. He groaned in defeat and turned over to the other side. He wasn't going to be able to fall asleep again, but it was nice to pretend for a few minutes. When his three minutes pretending that he'd gotten more than two hours of sleep was up, he yawned enormously and gave his back a stretch that cracked every vertebra a horrifying amount of times. He sighed as he pushed his glasses up his face. Barely even comprehending his actions, Calyx stumbled over to his closet and threw on a pair of jeans, some tye-dye bullshit from the 90's tank top, and a hoodie. He then left his bedroom to make breakfast for himself and Adeline, although he wasn't sure when she would be up.


The kitchen was, unsurprisingly, filled with enough food to last a 20-year-old with the appetite of a horse, but he scavenged around for something decent anyway. There were a few bags of instant oatmeal left so he took two of them and poured them into bowls. The kettle boiled quickly, and he filled his bowl, a mug for tea, and another mug for Adeline. He opted to leave it for her just outside of her door.


He sat at the table, pushing around the food with his spoon. 5:30 in the morning probably meant that it was going to be a long day. As a self employed artist, he didn't have a schedule, but he worried about whether the stranger did.

 

[ChibiMonkey]

After having finally been able to get some sleep in the early morning just before the sun rose over the horizon, she later started to wake up a little after six. She rolled over onto her side, from where she had been sleeping on her back, and sighed heavily. She rubbed her sore and swollen eyes from crying the night before, opening them and found herself vaguely confused. She sat up, looking around the unfamiliar room before finally recalling that she had come to some strangers home after he coaxed her off the bridge. She frowned, remembering that and sighed heavily, falling back onto her back with a light thud on the bed, staring up at the ceiling.


She just laid there for a few minutes, wondering what to do. She wondered if the stranger was awake yet. Should she leave? She still didn't want to go home necessarily. She also had work later that afternoon...but she really didn't want to go. She didn't want to do anything, really. She sighed heavily in thought, frowning to herself as she eventually got up. Maybe she'd slip out of the apartment if the male was still asleep.


Although as she was getting up and leaving the room, she noticed oatmeal and tea by her door. She blinked a bit, the thought almost - almost, making her smile. She bent down and picked it up, before carrying it to the kitchen table. She guessed this meant the guy was awake. And as she entered the kitchen, she saw him there, and gave a light nod "Good morning..." she murmured softly as she sat down at the table.

 

[Kasper]

"Mornin', sunshine," Calyx said through a smile. "So you got some sleep, at least. That's good." At this point he was just making awkward small talk, wanting to be of use to her but not knowing how he could possibly fix anything. He took a rather large sip from his mug, savouring every drop of the tea. It wasn't even really that good - it was boxed up stuff from the dollar store - but the twinge of mint in it was really helping him to wake up. He breathed in the fumes and exhaled slowly. He was exhausted, and the lady probably was as well.


"Do you need anything? Water, more clothes, a book, anything at all?" he offered up, trying to be as accommodating as possible. He decided not to bring up the subject of work yet, thinking that it could cause her some unneeded stress. They'd cross that bridge when they came to it - if, he thought, there was even going to be a "they" later at all. Somehow the thought puzzled him, and he scoffed at himself for trying to be a hero. The truth was, he was just some guy that stopped her from jumping off a bridge one night, but there was nothing to say that she wouldn't follow through with her plans tonight, or any night beyond. He was powerless, and once she left his apartment, it was unlikely that she'd ever come back.

 

[ChibiMonkey]

As Calyx spoke to her, greeting her and talking about sleep, she didn't say much for words, only nodding or shaking her head to his comments or questions. She only nodded lightly when he commented that she was able to get some sleep. Just a little, she supposed. She silently brought the mug of tea to her lips, sipping at it. It wasn't the best tea, but she enjoyed it. She loved tea, but with Leon she never drank it since he complained about the smell and taste, he was a man who preferred coffee, so Adeline had made it a point to never even bother bringing tea to the house.


She closed her eyes, enjoying he warmth the tea offered. Despite the average temperature inside the apartment, inside she still felt empty and cold. Sipping at her tea, she didn't really touch the oatmeal, still not up to eating. She only shook her head at Calyx's various questions regarding anything she might need. As far as clothes went, she could just wear the ones she had gotten soaked in, since they were cleaned and dried overnight, so she was sure they were fine now.


She remain silent for a few moments longer, not really thinking about what she was saying before the words just started to slip out of her mouth "My boyfriend left me the other day..."

 

[Kasper]

Calyx was surprised when she suddenly spoke up about her boyfriend. It was probably a good thing that she was beginning to be able to talk about it, but he could tell that it was weighing heavily on her mind. He hoped that responding would help ease the burden.


"Oh, wow. That's horrible. I'm so sorry," he said, stopping eating and looking up at Adeline. He wasn't sure what else to say, if he should even say anything at all.

 

[ChibiMonkey]

Adeline remained staring at the table, into the surface of the tea in her mug as she thought about Leon, her eye clouding over. She was confused herself, with how she had just told this stranger that. She didn't even understand why, it had just sort of come out on her own. She let out a huff of air, taking another silent sip of her tea, unsure how to continue, since she hadn't really even meant to talk about it in the first place "You probably think I'm pathetic" she commented softly "getting all upset over a boyfriend. I once thought the same thing too...." she said as she set the mug back down on the table, hands fiddling with it for something to do and occupy her hands with, turning the mug silently around in circles in a nervous sort of motion.

 

[Kasper]

Calyx wasn't sure how to soothe the woman, and eventually just decided to take a step back, to stop trying to take over everything. She was independent, and she didn't need a babysitter to do everything for her. It was probably best to just help in minor ways and try to help get her back on her feet. He inhaled slowly. "You're not pathetic," he said, his voice soft but confident. "Heartbreak does some nasty things to a person. You don't need to feel ashamed of that."

 

[ChibiMonkey]

Staring at her mug, Adeline listened to the other, and his words assuring her she wasn't pathetic. His words only offered a small amount of comfort to the girl, as she continued to talk about what happened. She didn't know where her voice was coming from, telling him all of this. She hadn't been able to talk to any of her friends about it, or even look them in the eyes. But somehow with this stranger, in a short amount of time she was able to open up a little bit, and finally talk about what happened. She didn't understand why. Though she supposed maybe it was because of the fact that he was a stranger, she was able to talk about it a little. She explained how they had been together for nearly five years, and he had then just up and left her for another woman, saying something about how she had gotten 'old' and 'boring'.

 

[Kasper]

So the ex-boyfriend was a cheater. Calyx scoffed. He hated people like that. They always took things for granted, thought the world belonged to them, hurt people who didn't deserve to be hurt. From what he could tell, Adeline seemed to be very kind and quiet. He couldn't fathom her doing something that could possibly warrant someone she'd loved for so long cheating on her. That sort of betrayal was just awful.


"That's disgusting," he finally said, after listening carefully to her story. "Man, that really just sucks. I'm sorry. I wish that wouldn't have happened."

 

[ChibiMonkey]

Adeline looked to him a bit curiously when she heard a scoff sort of noise come from him. She looked up from her mug at him, seeing his sincerity when he spoke about how what her ex had done to her was disgusting. She stared at him for a moment, before a small - very small smile managed to creep onto her lips "Thank you" she spoke softly, before turning her attention back on her mug. However just as quick as that smile had appeared, it had disappeared once more. She was hardly even aware of it herself. Though she supposed it was an improvement, even if a slight one. Somehow being with Calyx helped her not think about Leon as much, and that was helping.

 

[Kasper]

It was so small that Calyx thought it may have been an illusion, but his heart rate went up as he saw the stranger begin to smile. Success. He hadn't seen a single smile from her since they had met. Maybe he had just imagined it, but he didn't think he had. He could feel its energy in her voice, and that was good enough for him.


"Of course. Now I hate to bring this up, but do you feel safe to go home? I can't kidnap you if you're not, but you're welcome to stay here for as long as you need," he explained. He didn't like that he had to talk about sending her home right after she woke up, but he didn't want her to feel trapped.

 

[ChibiMonkey]

She glanced up at him when he asked about her going home, and if she was up to it. She frowned a bit, at the thought of having to go back to her apartment she had once shared so long with Leon. When he offered that she could stay there with him for as long as she needed, she nodded her head "I would like that....if you're sure it's not a bother to you" she said looking at him. The last thing that she wanted to do was cause more problems for the man who had saved her life - quite literally. Even if it was against her own will. But he had just been so kind, and helpful, being with him made her feel a little bit better, like she might be able to get through this if he was around. So she wanted to stay around him for as long as she could....or until she was better. Whichever came first. She hoped she got better, anyways...eventually. Though right now it was hard to think of that as possible. But she really didn't want to end up being a burden to Calyx. "Do you work? I promise I won't keep you, or get in your way..." she added softly.

 

[Kasper]

Calyx smiled warmly. "No, of course, it's my pleasure. I'm a little bit low on food and the like, but I'd be glad to keep you for as long as you need," he said, finishing up his oatmeal. He stood and took it over to the sink, washed out the bowl, and placed it back up in the cabinet. "I do occasionally have galleries and vendors to speak with, but today I don't have any meetings. I might go down to the studio just to add some more touches to a working piece." He chewed on the inside of his cheek, visualizing what he had already completed of the painting. Come to think of it, he really could go more detailed on one of his more recent paintings. He probably should, if he was going to be able to pay for food for the next few weeks.

 

[ChibiMonkey]

Adeline was relieved when the other was okay for her staying longer. She nodded her head a bit in understanding as he explained she could really stay for as long as she needed "I can help pay for food. It's the least I could do" she offered, not wanting him to have to run short on money because he was paying for someone else whom he shouldn't have to. She really was glad though at his generosity. She listened a bit curiously as he explained a bit about work, mentioning a studio and galleries. She tilted her head to the side a bit as she looked to him "are you an artist?" she asked, wondering what else he would have to do with work in a gallery and such.

 

[Kasper]

"Oh, right. Yes, I'm a painter, specifically. Mostly realism and impressionism," Calyx explained, laughing softly at himself for forgetting that sort of vital piece of information. He was usually decent with remembering things, but recently he had been pretty scatterbrained. Hopefully that would sort itself out soon.


"Do you have a workplace that you need to be dropped off at or anything?"