Dr.Murphy

[kenchin]

 
​

 
​

Name:
​

Murphy Lawless
​

 
​

Villain Name:
​

Dr.Murphy
​

 
​

Other Nicknames:


Dr Angel, God's Gith Maker


Age:


22


Gender:


Male


Species:


Human


Appearance:

Height: 5'11"


Weight: 180


Superpowers (if any):


100%  Brain Usage that he can think around over 10 outcome's but he can only use it for Five minute's long


Weapons (if any): Duel Guns and Mega Ultra Bullet's muwhahahahha


Strengths:


My Intelligence


My Focus


My Gun Skill's


Weaknesses:


Cardiac Arrhythmia


My Luck


My Bipolar Disease


Sexuality:


Heterosexual


Personality:


Dr.Murphy is well a short fuse he is a bit annoying and he has a split personality but that's because every genius's well has a mental disorder But Murphy was even born with something worse his Heart my kill him any day of the year so he live's every day how he want's doesn't let anyone tell him what to do what not to do he will alway always follow the path that will get him excited and the one to test out his new invention's and Inator's Murphy was alway kinda crazy childish and emotionally 


Likes:


Alchemy


Candy


Science


Coffee


Gun's


Dislikes:


Working out


stay alone for long period of time


being disturbed while in the middle of his invention's


Super Hero's


Backstory/Origin Story:


At age 3-22 Murphy learned how to speak ten different languages and created a translatioinator to understand almost everyone but still gets some wrong. tat age 16 he started Harvard with a GPA of 4.0  and the at 18 he had dropped out from Tokyo university Harvard yale that's correct he dropped out because he saw no interest in their lessons he knew all the text books could teach him after all when he was bored he wanted to know more and more he learned that his brain was special when a regular person's brain is usage is 100 percent it's not running it at full speed while Murphy studied his and other people's he noticed that his was running at least ten times faster when he concentrates for five minutes but it makes his eyes bleed and nose with his ears but he smiled and simply conducted experiments untill he went to the world's top scientist and showed his studies and he even proved that if he has the funds he can make pills and even some nerve gear to control it potency so everyone in the world could be as smart as him. They where interested untill they saw the test subject data and noticed that he wanted human tester and most of them would die so they rejected him causing his Dorment heart dieses to awakened. Being diagnosed with Cardiac Arrhythmia he spent a year and a half in the hospital he was going mad with out doing what he loved studying the unknown Doctors locked him away because he would leave the hospital causing him to have heart attacks. Alone and restraint he started to talk to himself making theory's how to escape the out comes. Till he met his Nurse and fell in love at first site she helped him control his emotional and his mind became at ease. And gave up on science for a few months but when they where on a date outside the city then a superhero and Villain started to fight causing a large battle making a awful destruction causing a tree to fall it was about to hit him and his girlfriend when suddenly Murphy used his five minutes to think of a chance to save himself and his girlfriend  but he noticed the outcome was always the hero witch he was right but what he didn't calculate was that after that she would fall for that badgered while he had a small attack after a month she dumbed Murphy for that hero and that's when swore vengeance against all that fight for good he started to work on his inators witch some worked some had the opisate effect and some well just exploded in his face.


Villainous Motive:


I want to be recognised as the World's Evilest scientist


and want's to kill all the Hero's around the world


and Cure my disease


Why You Suck as a Villain:


My invention always makes the world a better place and i can't go crazy because my heart disease and i want to destroy 


Theme Song










(Optional)


Other: @FemTheHufflepuffRabbit

 

[TheHufflepuffRabbit]

 
​

 
​

Name:
​

Murphy Lawless
​

 
​

Villain Name:
​

Dr.Murphy
​

 
​

Other Nicknames:


Dr Angel, God's Gith Maker


Age:


18


Gender:


Male


Species:


Human


Appearance:





Height: 5'11"


Weight: 180


Superpowers (if any):


100%  Brain Usage that he can think around over 1000 outcome's but he can only use it for Five minute's long


Weapons (if any): Duel Guns and Mega Ultra Bullet's muwhahahahha


Strengths:


My Intelligence


My Focus


My Gun Skill's


Weaknesses:


Cardiac Arrhythmia


My Luck


My Bipolar Disease


Sexuality:


Heterosexual


Personality:


Dr.Murphy is well a short fuse he is a bit annoying and he has a split personality but that's because every genius's well has a mental disorder But Murphy was even born with something worse his Heart my kill him any day of the year so he live's every day how he want's doesn't let anyone tell him what to do what not to do he will alway always follow the path that will get him excited and the one to test out his new invention's and Inator's Murphy was alway kinda crazy childish and emotionally 


Likes:


Alchemy


Candy


Science


Coffee


Gun's


Dislikes:


Working out


stay alone for long period of time


being disturbed while in the middle of his invention's


Super Hero's


Backstory/Origin Story:


At age 3 Murphy learned how to speak all the languages from around the world then at age 10 he graduated From Harvard with a GPA of 8.0 yes that's correct he actually made a fake profile to graduate top of the school two time's in a row because he was bored then suddenly. at age 14 he threw it all away the thesis the theories his life's work and love for a woman of his dream's well that's what he though then when he was in the town there was a villain attack  that's when they were saved him and his Girlfriend that fell head over heel's over the superhero. which murphy didn't mind at first then suddenly. throughout the four years's all the girls he dated it happen over and over that's when he vowed that he would destroy all the bloody Hero's around the world. that's when he started to make evil Death Ray's and the invention's to kill everyone around the world but every invention he created instead of destroying the world it made it better and he even won Noble Peace prize's just a few seven or eight. and ten Nobel Prizes five Breakthrough Prizes and then finally two Wolf Prize's just because he sucks at making evil inator's


Villainous Motive:


I want to be recognised as the World's Evilest scientist


and want's to kill all the Hero's around the world


and Cure my disease


Why You Suck as a Villain:


My invention always makes the world a better place and i can't go crazy because my heart disease and i want to destroy 


Theme Song










(Optional)


Other:

Accepted~

 

[M-Night]

Gotta say, this character is such a Gary Stuff and the whole "humans only use ten percent of their brains" thing has been proven as a myth. Besides, who has a love-of-their-life girlfriend at t he age of fourteen. Plus, not all geniuses have mental disorders; many just don't connect to the world the same way other people do. Not to mention the language, Harvard, and Tokyo University things are complete crap.

 

[kenchin]

Gotta say, this character is such a Gary Stuff and the whole "humans only use ten percent of their brains" thing has been proven as a myth. Besides, who has a love-of-their-life girlfriend at t he age of fourteen. Plus, not all geniuses have mental disorders; many just don't connect to the world the same way other people do. Not to mention the language, Harvard, and Tokyo University things are complete crap.

It's a comedy character I used all the clishias on purpose I don't want to make him into real badass he is supposed to made fun off and of course it's all fictional not like alians and monsters excited in our world

 

[M-Night]

It's a comedy character I used all the clishias on purpose I don't want to make him into real badass he is supposed to made fun off and of course it's all fictional not like alians and monsters excited in our world

Okay, what? Monsters and aliens do exist in the world of the role-play if that is what you were trying to say. Your character isn't cliche, he's too OP. You say you aren't trying to make a badass but your character is one. The girlfriend thing can be forgiven, but the university and language things can't be (especially since Fem pointed them out herself).

 

[kenchin]

Okay, what? Monsters and aliens do exist in the world of the role-play if that is what you were trying to say. Your character isn't cliche, he's too OP. You say you aren't trying to make a badass but your character is one. The girlfriend thing can be forgiven, but the university and language things can't be (especially since Fem pointed them out herself).

It may sound d op but it's not like I am going to go crazy he is just going to be a good that inventes random machine's but if your against it I can just change it 

 

[M-Night]

It may sound d op but it's not like I am going to go crazy he is just going to be a good that inventes random machine's but if your against it I can just change it 

Hey, do as you do so long as you don't go too far.

 

[kenchin]

Oh nope I know not to go overboard I prefer to make other look better in rps


@M-Night

 

[M-Night]

Okay then, let's see how this plays out.

 

[Mika9889]

Comical or not, the languages are PHYSICALLY impossible... There are 7,000 languages in the world.

 

[kenchin]

Comical or not, the languages are PHYSICALLY impossible... There are 7,000 languages in the world.View attachment 241324

Forgot to edit that but thank you though

 

[Mika9889]

... Okay, you know what? I'm going to be blunt here. I'm done being nice.

Stop making your character a special snowflake, okay?!
​

 
​

I get that you were trying to make a Dr. Doofenschmirtz-type character... However, you really haven't done it well.
​

To begin, whenever you try to fix one of the issues we point out, you end up making your character more and more special, and I am frankly completely and utterly tired of it. Especially since you always try to make excuses for why this character has certain traits. I greatly doubt any of what you've said in the defense of this character thus far. It has flatly just sounded like something you've pulled out of thin air to avoid admitting the fact your character is horrible.
​

 
​

So, first, I'm going to tell you exactly what's destroying this character... And that will be your final chance to fix it because you are completely ignoring quite a bit of Fem's advice to help this thing you've created and merely changing the reasoning behind it.
​

Newsflash, it isn't the reasoning that's making this character horrible. It's the fact you've made the character extremely OP and so much of a Gary Stu that I don't even believe this can even be called a character.
​

 
​

Now that I've said that... I'll begin actually telling you what's wrong with this character. I am going to be very, very, very blunt because of your constant excuses to cover your tracks.
​

 
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Other Nicknames:


Dr Angel, God's Gith Maker





 






 







1

Let's start with this, shall we?
​

These nicknames are so Stuish it's ridiculous... Especially as God doesn't exist in this specific roleplay world. Remove them.
​

 
​

 
​

Superpowers (if any):


100%  Brain Usage that he can think around over 10 outcome's but he can only use it for Five minute's long





 






 







 







 







 

First of all, it's a myth that humans only use 10% of their brain.
​

Second of all, please learn proper capitalization and punctuation... Please.
​

I do applaud the fact you changed this from the original 1000 outcomes, however.
​

 
​

Weapons (if any): Duel Guns and Mega Ultra Bullet's muwhahahahha

Okay, whatdoes 'mega ultra bullets' even mean? And that evil laughter is extremely unneeded and stupid, considering you haven't used commentary for this character profile thus far. Just drop the 'mega ultra bullets' thing altogether, considering you'd obviously need bullets for guns and the 'mega ultra' part is utterly stupid.
​

And, again, learn proper punctuation and capitalization, please. It's rather hard to follow your writing when you don't use them properly.
​

 
​

My Bipolar Disease





 






 







 

Okay, no.
​

Firstly, it's bipolar disorder, not bipolar disease. A disease is something you can catch from other people. Diseases are spread through bacteria and viruses invading your body. Bipolar is not a disease... It is a mental disorder, something that is an imbalance in chemicals in the brain.
​

Second of all, do your research on any sort of disease or disorder (that includes the cardiac arrythmia) you put in your characters. Considering how you referred to bipolar disorder, you obviously have not done any research at all and merely put it in to make your character 'special'... Remove it or do your research.
​

 
​

Personality:


Dr.Murphy is well a short fuse he is a bit annoying and he has a split personality but that's because every genius's well has a mental disorder But Murphy was even born with something worse his Heart my kill him any day of the year so he live's every day how he want's doesn't let anyone tell him what to do what not to do he will alway always follow the path that will get him excited and the one to test out his new invention's and Inator's Murphy was alway kinda crazy childish and emotionally 





 






 







1

Ah, this... Ahem... Wonderful thing you've called a personality. Where to start...
​

he has a split personality but that's because every genius's well has a mental disorder

Here is a good spot to start from... All I have to say just no.
​

First of all, not all geniuses have mental disorders, they merely just perceive the world in a different way because of their higher intelligence, so drop that...
​

Second of all, a 'split personality' is
​

A) hardly even a character trait at all
​

B) not even remotely related to bipolar disorder. A split personality, in the most literal sense of physically having a set of personas that can be triggered into coming out at any given moment, is usually associated with dissociative identity disorder. So, again, do your research if you want to give a character a mental disorder.
​

Furthermore, you never even elaborated on what 'split personality' truly means in this character's case... It's extremely vague and pointless unless you elaborate. You may know what you mean by that, but we do not. Fix it or drop it completely.
​

But Murphy was even born with something worse his Heart my kill him any day of the year

Stop. Now. Please... This is just making your character a special snowflake. Not to mention the fact that this is his only truly hindering weakness, which needs to be fixed. You don't have to give your character a rare heart condition to make a good weakness. There are hundreds of other ways to do this...
​

Also, this isn't even a personality trait. This is a physcial disability that has no place in a personality description.
​

so he live's every day how he want's doesn't let anyone tell him what to do what not to do he will alway always follow the path that will get him excited and the one to test out his new invention's and Inator's Murphy was alway kinda crazy childish and emotionally 





 






 







 

Ah... Almost done with this section.
​

Okay. This last sentence makes absolutely no sense and should obviously be at least two sentences, but it needs proper grammar for me to even begin to try to follow it.
​

Furthermore, 'crazy' is not a descriptive character trait... Change it, please.
​

Finally, 'emotionally' makes absolutely no sense unless you add a word to go with it. Or just drop the 'ly'.
​

 
​

Now that I'm done with the specifics of this personality, I'm going to be blunt; you need to change his personality entirely, epecially as he as absolutely no positive character traits... These characters may be villains, but even villains have positives to their personality. Everyone does... No one is completely good or evil, thus their traits are not completely positive or negative. Everyone has a balance of both, though villains will usually have a few more negative traits than postive ones, but the postive ones are still there.
​

 
​

... And now we're down to the background. This is where a lot of the issues are, though I will admit you have made it a lot better since the original.
​

At age 3-22 Murphy learned how to speak ten different languages and created a translatioinator to understand almost everyone but still gets some wrong.





 






 

Thank you for changing this (though you made an excuse of 'I forgot to edit it', which was a bit annoying), but it still has issues. First of all, even learning ten languages is pushing it. I'd bring it down to five or six at most... Furthermore, I highly doubt it's even remotely possible for a human to be aware of even most of the languages in the world, let alone create a machine to understand most of them, considering 90% of these languages are spoken by less than 100,000 people, when the population of the world is currently at around 7.5 billion.
​

Honestly, a better alternative to both the overly numerous amount of languages and the inator would be to say he picks up on languages quicker than most.
​

See? That isn't OP. It's reasonable. Unlike this.
​

tat age 16 he started Harvard with a GPA of 4.0  and the at 18 he had dropped out from Tokyo university Harvard yale that's correct he dropped out because he saw no interest in their lessons he knew all the text books could teach him after all when he was bored he wanted to know more and more he learned that his brain was special when a regular person's brain is usage is 100 percent it's not running it at full speed while Murphy studied his and other people's he noticed that his was running at least ten times faster when he concentrates for five minutes but it makes his eyes bleed and nose with his ears but he smiled and simply conducted experiments untill he went to the world's top scientist and showed his studies and he even proved that if he has the funds he can make pills and even some nerve gear to control it potency so everyone in the world could be as smart as him.





 






 







3

This sentence is the longest run-on I've ever heard and is near impossible to follow... Break it up into at least two or three, and add commas to those sentences, please.
​

Second of all, no one would be accepted at Harvard, Yale, or Tokyo University at age 16, not to mention the fact all of those schools are extremely expensive... Thus it's supremely unlikely anyone would go to all of them, even with full scholarships, so kindly choose one and only one.
​

Furthermore, an 18 year old would not be the top scientist in the world, and I doubt anyone could create even a single pill that increases IQ, let alone nerve gear to control the pill, especially considering the technology for nerve gear has yet to be invented... We hardly even have virtual reality headsets.
​

They where interested untill they saw the test subject data and noticed that he wanted human tester and most of them would die so they rejected him causing his Dorment heart dieses to awakened.





 






 







 

Oh, yes, because having your extremely inhumane experiment where most of the human test subjects would DIE is toooootally a possible cause of your dormant heart condition to emerge again... Tooootally.
​

It isn't.
​

Being diagnosed with Cardiac Arrhythmia he spent a year and a half in the hospital he was going mad with out doing what he loved studying the unknown Doctors locked him away because he would leave the hospital causing him to have heart attacks. Alone and restraint he started to talk to himself making theory's how to escape the out comes. Till he met his Nurse and fell in love at first site she helped him control his emotional and his mind became at ease. And gave up on science for a few months but when they where on a date outside the city then a superhero and Villain started to fight causing a large battle making a awful destruction causing a tree to fall it was about to hit him and his girlfriend when suddenly Murphy used his five minutes to think of a chance to save himself and his girlfriend  but he noticed the outcome was always the hero witch he was right but what he didn't calculate was that after that she would fall for that badgered while he had a small attack after a month she dumbed Murphy for that hero and that's when swore vengeance against all that fight for good he started to work on his inators witch some worked some had the opisate effect and some well just exploded in his face.





 






 







 

Oh, this part is the worst thus far... It's another horrible run-on sentence and makes little sense. The content honestly isn't the best either.
​

First of all, the doctors would not 'lock him up' because he had heart attacks whenever he left the hospital. They would prescribe him medication to at least allow him to live somewhat normally... And, considering he has medication in the roleplay now, that is completely stupid and just a pointless bit of angst that doesn't have any real effect on his personality. Honestly, he could've just as easily fallen in love with the nurse during his year and a half long hospitalization.
​

Second of all, why is he restrained, even if your first faulty bit of logic passes? He hasn't shown any signs of being a danger to himself or others at all in his backstory.
​

Third of all, if a tree was falling towards you and your girlfriend, you would not have five minutes to think of the outcomes. You'd have to react instantly, or you'd both be crushed, especially since he doesn't have any sort of means to freeze time or anything like that.
​

Finally, that really was a horrid girlfriend if she so easily dropped him for a hero... I doubt that would've just happened out of nowhere. She would've shown signs of being capable of that long before, considering they were together for a few months, so I doubt he would have made that complete change because of that. If I had a girlfriend who dropped me like that, I definitely wouldn't miss her when she left... I doubt anyone would.
​

 
​

You really should give him a different reason to become an evil scientist and fix those logic jumps.
​

 
​

Why You Suck as a Villain:


My invention always makes the world a better place





 






 







 

 
​

No. Stop.
​

Even if he's supposed to be a villain, this is SO Stuish. Inventions never always make the world a better place. Give him a completely different reason for being a horrible villain, or at least change the phrasing. If anything, say his inventions will, more often than not, cause positive things to happen rather than his intended negative effect.
​

 
​

Now then... Please just fix these things or start over entirely. I don't want any more excuses of 'oh, he really isn't OP, but I'll make sure he isn't so OP in the roelplay' when he clearly is extremely OP, or 'oh, I meant to edit that' when I pointed out the languages. Just own up to the fact you've made mistakes in the building of this character and fix it... That's all you need to do, because it's honestly quite annoying that you've tried so hard to defend it. Now, I'm going to compile a list of what needs to be fixed, since this was quite long-winded;

~Drop the nicknames
​

~It's a myth that humans only use 10% of their brain
​

~Drop the 'super ultra bullets' thing and just give him ordinary duel guns
​

~Research any and all mental and physcial conditions you give your character
​

~Drop the 'all geniuses have a mental illness' part of his personality.
​

~Add positive personality traits to him (but also make sure to balance them out with negative ones)
​

~Explain what you mean by 'split personality' if you keep it in his personality
​

~Change the amount of languages he learned and how many languages the inator can allow him to understand. Or drop the inator altogether and just give him the ability to pick up on languages more quickly than most people, since that's reasonable and not OP.
​

~Fix logic jumps in the background and remove the 'top scientist in the world' thing if you keep him as an 18-year-old
​

~The technology for nerve gear does not exist yet and that sort of pill is impossible to create with our current understanding of science. He can possibly invent nerve gear, since we're on the road to creating it, but not the pill.
​

~And, finally, for the love of all that is good, change why he sucks as a villain. Even if that's bad for a villain, it's still something that's impossible and rather ridiculous.
​