Viewpoint Do you ever play the opposite gender? Do you prefer it?

[RavenWing13]

I usually only play male characters, but once in a great while, or if my friends beg me, I will play a female. But I am horrible at it most times I try. I prefer male, because its natural for me. Being a male irl, I find it hard to portray a women. Those who can play both and do it wonderfully, have my deepest respects.

 

[Nimbus]

I'm a switch hitter - I play both genders and sometimes even folks who are non-binary. I try to do male and female characters equally, but I tend to gravitate towards playing certain characters for a time. For a while, male characters were a thing for me, now I'm thinkin', "Let's have girls run the world."

I re-use characters a lot (and when I get bored of their parts, I genderswap 'em and see what happens. Good stuff happens...or at least shenanigans do! ;3) and if I have a side character, I usually make them different from the main in some way (e.g.: Space Gal in my avatar is Korean, so I made her wingman a lad from a pseudo pan-slavic space colony.) to give a bit of variety.

I have done 1x1s with a whole cast of characters, but my most memorable past 1x1s are with my core set of characters, since I can get right down to the nitty gritty of the plot without having to figure out who they are.

 

[Sea Jay]

I don't think I have ever actually rped a female character, I think part of me worries about misrepresenting women because I am not very social and wouldn't know how to properly represent something I have little experience with.
I also just find it enjoyable rping the same gender because I can get into the role more and take on the characters way of thinking more naturally...
That and I have a low key fear of women.

 

[rae2nerdy]

I don't think I have ever actually rped a female character, I think part of me worries about misrepresenting women because I am not very social and wouldn't know how to properly represent something I have little experience with.
I also just find it enjoyable rping the same gender because I can get into the role more and take on the characters way of thinking more naturally...
That and I have a low key fear of women.

Think of it this way. Do you obsess over playing your male character "realistically"? Do you worry that your male character acts enough like a male? That he's manly enough or that people are going to think your portraying him wrong because he doesn't act x way? ( and I mean in a way that relates to his gender not in a way that relates to his personality ).

For that matter do you only play characters with your skin color? Do you worry that your portraying that correctly? That people are going to think your not portraying that skin color correctly?

What about nationality? Do you play the nationality of your character? Do you worry that you are portraying that nationality correctly?

Do you have a disablity? Are you able bodied? Do you worry that your portraying able bodied or disabled people correctly?

Basically what I'm getting at is unless your doing a roleplay that specifically highlights an "ism" (i.e. racism, sexism, feminism, ableism, etc. ) than don't worry about portraying anything correctly.

There is no one way to be a guy
There is no one way to be a girl
There is no one way to be a human being.

We are all different. We're shaped far more by are backgrounds and our experiences than we are whether or not we have something dangling between our legs or hanging on our chests.

I mean if you just prefer to only play self inserts that's fine.

But don't worry about "portraying" women right or wrong. Most women aren't going to care unless you go around talking about how -
when my character is on her period she sprouts hair from all over her body and howls like a dog.

And even that would probably only get a laugh rather than some shrieking outrage.

 

[Sea Jay]

Think of it this way. Do you obsess over playing your male character "realistically"? Do you worry that your male character acts enough like a male? That he's manly enough or that people are going to think your portraying him wrong because he doesn't act x way? ( and I mean in a way that relates to his gender not in a way that relates to his personality ).

For that matter do you only play characters with your skin color? Do you worry that your portraying that correctly? That people are going to think your not portraying that skin color correctly?

What about nationality? Do you play the nationality of your character? Do you worry that you are portraying that nationality correctly?

Do you have a disablity? Are you able bodied? Do you worry that your portraying able bodied or disabled people correctly?

Basically what I'm getting at is unless your doing a roleplay that specifically highlights an "ism" (i.e. racism, sexism, feminism, ableism, etc. ) than don't worry about portraying anything correctly.

There is no one way to be a guy
There is no one way to be a girl
There is no one way to be a human being.

We are all different. We're shaped far more by are backgrounds and our experiences than we are whether or not we have something dangling between our legs or hanging on our chests.

I mean if you just prefer to only play self inserts that's fine.

But don't worry about "portraying" women right or wrong. Most women aren't going to care unless you go around talking about how -
when my character is on her period she sprouts hair from all over her body and howls like a dog.

And even that would probably only get a laugh rather than some shrieking outrage.

Eheh its just anxiety more than anything because of past experience with people ( ^-^
I'm not at all going for stereotypes or anything either, its just my experiences.
I mean, I am the exact opposite of the stereotypical man and all, I dunno, things just make me nervous and I dont want to upset anyone. I hope I didn't upset you (o-o; )

 

[rae2nerdy]

Eheh its just anxiety more than anything because of past experience with people ( ^-^
I'm not at all going for stereotypes or anything either, its just my experiences.
I mean, I am the exact opposite of the stereotypical man and all, I dunno, things just make me nervous and I dont want to upset anyone. I hope I didn't upset you (o-o; )

Not at all just trying to let you know you don't have to over think it. Most people are not as obsessed about your gender or your characters gender as you are. It's the same with any type of anxiety really. I can promise you your partner isn't putting that much thought into what your doing as long as you aren't derailing the plot or acting like an douchecanoe.

That being the case I do understand personal preference. Someone can tell me until they're blue in the face that self-insert are a harmless way to get into a roleplay and I still won't roleplay with them. One to many times when self-inserts went the wrong way and I'm like nah fam I'm good. Never again.

 

[Sea Jay]

Not at all just trying to let you know you don't have to over think it. Most people are not as obsessed about your gender or your characters gender as you are. It's the same with any type of anxiety really. I can promise you your partner isn't putting that much thought into what your doing as long as you aren't derailing the plot or acting like an douchecanoe.

That being the case I do understand personal preference. Someone can tell me until they're blue in the face that self-insert are a harmless way to get into a roleplay and I still won't roleplay with them. One to many times when self-inserts went the wrong way and I'm like nah fam I'm good. Never again.

Eheh with me its less me putting myself into the character and more me literally taking on the mood and mindset of the character unintentionally.
Like... like acting? I dunno, mm, but whatever...
I guess Im just really used to being jumped on over things I say and do or... no... i just take stupid things really seriously and I have a hard time getting over them ehe...

 

[Redkorbi]

I do play as the opposite gender. I don't enjoy it all that much as it's hard for me to grasp. Really hard for me. I don't really know why exactly. It just is.

 

[shadxwhunters]

I am a female and have both male and female characters. I play both and enjoy it, but in the past few months or so I've prefered playing male characters, I'm not sure why, but I do!

 

[Tartaglia]

I've always preferred playing as a female character, not because I don't like playing male characters but because I feel pressured to do so. Playing male characters when I'm a female tends to make me overthink a lot. Like am I doing this right? Or is this what males would do? I've done quite a handful of bxb roleplays but bleh, I still feel pressured in doing so and I just prefer the former.

 

[rae2nerdy]

I've always preferred playing as a female character, not because I don't like playing male characters but because I feel pressured to do so. Playing male characters when I'm a female tends to make me overthink a lot. Like am I doing this right? Or is this what males would do? I've done quite a handful of bxb roleplays but bleh, I still feel pressured in doing so and I just prefer the former.

See this is what annoys me in romance roleplay. People are so convinced they "can't" play the opposite gender that they make their partners do so. Thus leading to someone who hates playing the opposite gender because they're always forced to do so by people who for some reason are too special to go out of THEIR comfort zone but have no problem with making everyone else do it instead.

Like seriously one of the top reasons I refuse to do romance anymore. Like you aren't going to dictate to me my characters gender, sexuality, and role in the roleplay and then turn around and act mortally offended when I ask why YOU can't play the non-self insert. It always comes off as super selfish to me.

 

[Cloche]

See this is what annoys me in romance roleplay. People are so convinced they "can't" play the opposite gender that they make their partners do so. Thus leading to someone who hates playing the opposite gender because they're always forced to do so by people who for some reason are too special to go out of THEIR comfort zone but have no problem with making everyone else do it instead.

Like seriously one of the top reasons I refuse to do romance anymore. Like you aren't going to dictate to me my characters gender, sexuality, and role in the roleplay and then turn around and act mortally offended when I ask why YOU can't play the non-self insert. It always comes off as super selfish to me.

I'm kind of the opposite side of the coin. I never force my partners to play as a gender they're not comfortable with, because as you said that's extremely selfish. But my response to (what seems like) the majority of romantic roleplayers only wanting to play female characters was to exclusively play male characters when doing romantic plots. This removes the issue of fighting over who has the "privilege" of playing the female character and makes it easy to find partners when necessary because male characters are more sought-after in romance settings. I guess I'm able to do this without issue just because it actually makes me uncomfortable or annoyed to play female characters in romances even though I'm a woman.

A tentative explanation I've come to as to why this is an issue in the roleplaying community (specifically romances) is because of the power dynamic and ideas of "masculinity" versus "femininity" that are prevalent in a lot of romantic plots throughout all media. Women are often submissive/passive targets of affection and love and men are saddled with the responsibility of courting and wooing them. It is still not uncommon (in the USA at least) for men to pay for dates, for men to be the first one to make a move because women who approach men are seen as desperate or simply too forward, for women to be complimented and shown open affection more commonly than men, etc. I'm not an MRA or anything, nor do I endorse these things, just that these holdovers from a more traditional male-dominated society are still in effect today.

So I think that people want to play females because it allows them to be the object of overt love and affection that has to be "won" by the male character. Then again, it's not uncommon for people to want the opposite (where the female character is the one trying to win over a "broken" or distant man) and people STILL don't want to be the male character, so what do I know?

 

[rae2nerdy]

I'm kind of the opposite side of the coin. I never force my partners to play as a gender they're not comfortable with, because as you said that's extremely selfish. But my response to (what seems like) the majority of romantic roleplayers only wanting to play female characters was to exclusively play male characters when doing romantic plots. This removes the issue of fighting over who has the "privilege" of playing the female character and makes it easy to find partners when necessary because male characters are more sought-after in romance settings. I guess I'm able to do this without issue just because it actually makes me uncomfortable or annoyed to play female characters in romances even though I'm a woman.

A tentative explanation I've come to as to why this is an issue in the roleplaying community (specifically romances) is because of the power dynamic and ideas of "masculinity" versus "femininity" that are prevalent in a lot of romantic plots throughout all media. Women are often submissive/passive targets of affection and love and men are saddled with the responsibility of courting and wooing them. It is still not uncommon (in the USA at least) for men to pay for dates, for men to be the first one to make a move because women who approach men are seen as desperate or simply too forward, for women to be complimented and shown open affection more commonly than men, etc. I'm not an MRA or anything, nor do I endorse these things, just that these holdovers from a more traditional male-dominated society are still in effect today.

So I think that people want to play females because it allows them to be the object of overt love and affection that has to be "won" by the male character. Then again, it's not uncommon for people to want the opposite (where the female character is the one trying to win over a "broken" or distant man) and people STILL don't want to be the male character, so what do I know?

Lol see for me it’s simple. It’s the same reason that Twilight, Fifty Shades, etc are so popular. These women want to to fantasize about being the center of someone’s universe. It’s not about characters at all. It’s I want this super hot / rich / mysterious / popular / insert random adjective here guy to fall in love with ME. I want to be his universe and his everything and do no work to get him to love me forever and ever.

So these people aren’t writing characters. They are writing themselves.

So obviously they can’t be the man. The man is the one who fawns over them or the one they’re fawning over.

So therefore the partner basically has to write whatever idealized fantasy these women have made up in their head so they get to have THEIR happily ever after.

And if their partner wants the same ? Or even just to you know make a character for a made up story. *EPIC SIGH* I guess.

 

[Cloche]

Lol see for me it’s simple. It’s the same reason that Twilight, Fifty Shades, etc are so popular. These women want to to fantasize about being the center of someone’s universe. It’s not about characters at all. It’s I want this super hot / rich / mysterious / popular / insert random adjective here guy to fall in love with ME. I want to be his universe and his everything and do no work to get him to love me forever and ever.

So these people aren’t writing characters. They are writing themselves.

So obviously they can’t be the man. The man is the one who fawns over them or the one they’re fawning over.

So therefore the partner basically has to write whatever idealized fantasy these women have made up in their head so they get to have THEIR happily ever after.

And if their partner wants the same ? Or even just to you know make a character for a made up story. *EPIC SIGH* I guess.

Eh, I wanted to be optimistic and pretend everyone was trying to write an interesting and well-developed character separate from themselves and just couldn't get into character given a different gender, but yeah you're probably right. The weirdest thing about self-inserting to me (although the whole concept is strange) is that it apparently doesn't have an age limit of any kind. The examples you mentioned target middle-aged woemn as do similar romance novels that are all over the market, and if you go on ao3 or whatever you can ALWAYS find a self-insert fic. These days kids aren't even just writing themselves, they're writing fiction specifically meant for the reader to insert themselves. Like instead of describing their character they just have stuff like [your name here] or [your eye color here].

Just out of curiosity, do you believe it's possible to make a self-inserter see the error of their ways?

 

[rae2nerdy]

Eh, I wanted to be optimistic and pretend everyone was trying to write an interesting and well-developed character separate from themselves and just couldn't get into character given a different gender, but yeah you're probably right. The weirdest thing about self-inserting to me (although the whole concept is strange) is that it apparently doesn't have an age limit of any kind. The examples you mentioned target middle-aged woemn as do similar romance novels that are all over the market, and if you go on ao3 or whatever you can ALWAYS find a self-insert fic. These days kids aren't even just writing themselves, they're writing fiction specifically meant for the reader to insert themselves. Like instead of describing their character they just have stuff like [your name here] or [your eye color here].

Just out of curiosity, do you believe it's possible to make a self-inserter see the error of their ways?

I mean if you read this thread there are certainly people who just have a simple preference. Like they feel most comfortable playing X gender or are tentative playing different genders.

Which is fine. I was more talking about like the super hypocritical ones that act like they have to be the center of attention and don’t care about their partners.

I would say that people can out grow self insert wishfullfillment. Usually when their real lives stop being something they are desperately unhappy about

 

[Derpy Dev]

I can work with either, but i do like roleplaying as female characters more because I am very secure about my gender identity for some reason.

Of course, as usual if I think a character will work better as one gender than the other, I go with the better gender for the character.

 

[dios]

Definitely! And although I wouldn't have previously said that I have any type of predisposition towards male characters in general - the fact of the matter is that, nines times out of ten, I'm writing as a male. It's just. A whole lot easier writing with them as it is with female characters.

There's an unspoken stigma that's been built up against female characters in some RP communities and fandoms that's made taking up the role of a chick a headache-and-a-half to deal with. Especially when you take into account the idea some people have that any female you toss into an RP is to be used as a ship-mate / romance partner, or that they're inevitably going to become or already are Mary-Sues, or that their personality will fall flat in the thick of things. And it really - really doesn't help that those ideas have some solid evidence behind them. I'm painfully sure that there are a couple of RPers here that have a couple of character-turned-self-insert horror stories sitting in the vault to share if asked about.

Unless I'm comfortable with the person that I'm writing with or intensely interested in a plot and have high muse to do so - I don't write as a woman.
Just not worth the fight, honestly.

 

[xCelestex]

I sometimes roleplay as a boy, but I tend not to because they always have this aloof and scary personality. I really hate ending up being the EdgeBoy of the roleplay. But I don't mind roleplaying and either or!

 

[Derpy Dev]

I sometimes roleplay as a boy, but I tend not to because they always have this aloof and scary personality. I really hate ending up being the EdgeBoy of the roleplay. But I don't mind roleplaying and either or!

Is about to disagree

Realizes 90% of my male characters have gruffer or more serious personalities

Shuts up

 

[xCelestex]

Is about to disagree

Realizes 90% of my male characters have gruffer or more serious personalities

Shuts up

LOL. I'm sorry, I meant moreso that my versions of boys are always edgy, but I'm glad I'm not alone. Welcome to the dark side.

 

[salty_ moustachio]

I prefer the opposite gender mostly. Penis envy and all that.

 

[Dalamus Ulom]

While I do play as the opposite gender at times, to fully answer the question, I shall now quote myself from a previous thread with a similar question:

"Honestly, I play both sides of the spectrum, though I tend toward males usually. I prefer to create tragic heroes and anti-heroes. You know, people destined for death because they would rather waste their lives hunting for revenge and/or vengeance than move on or do something productive, creating an eternal spiral of revenge until eventually the two sides of the spiral crash in a fiery explosion, killing and maiming everyone, both those dear to them and people who weren't even connected to the spiral.

And to be frank, I can't really see a woman being that stupid."

 

[TheDarkOwl]

I usually roleplay as a girl (I am one myself), but I often look at how many guys and how many girl characters there already are and what kind of pictures I can find on the internet. If there are already a bunch of girls or if I found a great picture. I play as a guy. I don't really have a preference, but I do feel like I can relate to my character a bit more, when it's a girl.

 

[GoldenSlime]

I'm Transgender (FtM) and RPing is like...escapism. If I play a female character, that's like grabbing myself and pulling me back in time to before I transitioned. It's not at all fun and it's actually little bit painful. But, when it's needed, I will rarely play a female character and I have two lying around, collecting dust for if such an occasion ever arises. I would love to play some Nonbinary (and/or Transgender) characters but nobody seems to want to RP with them and I do 90% 1x1 so...

 

[HeathertheGamer]

I'm flexible enough to play as either a male or a female. I normally prefer doubling up though.