Fantasy Diner Lore

[MrMopp]

Wip

Getting here

How the heck does a guy reach a Pan-Dimensional Diner, you ask? Well call me crazy, but you might try the using the door.

Yup. The Diners got one. Manifests itself in a bajillion random spots in bajillion realities at once. And It’s a fancy bright red one, too, with Dons Pan-Dimensional Diner in bold, yellow print. Hard to ignore, right? Of course most people do, cause it’s MAGIC, and because if everyJoe Shmo on a Sunday stroll found it interesting enough to investigate, we’d all be looking at a Pan-Dimensional Sardine Can. Not to mention all those paranormal experts that’s be up in our faces. SHEESH.

Hey, before youstart getting an ego, YOU’RE NOT SPECIAL. It was a hat draw aright? A traffic control mechanism! Then again, we only seem to get crazies around here, so maybe there was some hand picking going on there. Congrats I guess.

 

[MrMopp]

CURRENCY and PAYING fOR CRAP

Lemme guess, you‘re looking at that dollar menu up there and the teriyaki pineapple burger is calling to you like the voice of destiny. The only problem is “what the hell’s that $ thing?” Well good news my friend! IGNORE IT. The Don is willing to barter.

Really, there’s three main things that I care about at the register: What’s it worth? Whadda got? And what can I do with it? if you’re stuck with copper and gold coinage, Well figure out what it cracks up to. If money is just a forign concept to you, we’ll do trade instead. Food for food is preferable, like, bring a basket of eggs or a sack of potatoes. Finally, if you just don’t have anything because hell-if-you-knew-you-were-stepping-into-a-magical-eatery-when-you-walked-through-that-door, then we’ll stick you at the dish pit or something (and if you simply don’t have thumbs to dishwash with, then you better have some damn good puppy eyes).

Oh and just so we’re all clear:

•We do NOT take live animals.

•We do NOT want your first born child.

•I am NOT interested in your immortal soul, thanks.

•Where the HELL would I plant magic beans.

•We do NOT take debit or credit

 

[MrMopp]

The Layout

Some people say I should start calling it Dons Pan-Dimentional Pub. I say, “Bite me”.

So the Diner has sort of a J shape to it. The bottom part of that J is the Diner-Diner, with the tables, the tile floor, the juke box playing your grandpa’s music and relics form different realities covering the wall like a friggn scrap book.

The top part of the J is the lounge, and that’s the pubby part. It's got a fireplace, some comfy furniture, a dart board, a piano, the works. Just watch out. There’s there a good amount of magic in that corner, cause now and then the furniture will think they got a sense of humor...

Spoiler: Stuff in the Lounge

•a fireplace.

•a couch.

•two comfy chairs.

•an end table with a lamp that changes color every time it’s clicked.

•a piano.

•a small bookshelf that randomly shifts new books in and out of nowhere.

•a dart board.

•a round poker table that teleports small items on one person to the pockets of the person sitting to the left every five minutes.

•a ships wheel on the wall that tilts the entire room every time it’s turned.

•a teddy bear named Mr. Huggles.