Chitchat creeps on the web, creeps in real life... does it ever get old?

[Elowyn]

Okay,

so i'm a girl (wow, betcha didn't know that!) and it gets on my nerves when guys catcall (whistle) or text me randomly on fb messenger.

have you received any of this unwanted attention (whether male or female) and what would you suggest one do?

And also, even some older women are giving me undue attention that makes me uncomfortable (asking me random questions, pushing pics of their sons at me). I guess I am made awkward and uncomfortable whenever something out of the norm is directed at me. Or when I don't understand their meaning and they don't give an explanation.

-nycto

 

[Idea]

I haven't really lived this experience of yours but I've been on some randomized chatting sites and I know what ya mean, creeps everywhere. I've personally tried making fun of those people by toying with them but given your situation they seem to have more personal data on you that might not work... I'd suggest you tell them straight faced you're not interested, write down some comment that you can copy-paste for the sake of simplicity and then respond with that. If they persist block them or whatever equivalent there may be. IRL just try to stay away/ignore them.

That said, and speaking of IRL specifically, if a guy is not being a creep I would request if it's not too much that you take a clam appproach and explain you are not interested in a clear fashion if that is the case. As I hear, and obvioulsy my information may be faulty on this, but some girls think playing mind games is an intelligent move in attracting or rejecting a guy and both are very wrong. So being clear is important and some guys are not creeps- but we are expected to make the first move, and it's hard to approach someone you have a crush on normally. Which is not to say you have any obligation towards the guy or anything, but that I would kindly request caution as to who is a creep and who is not the best at introductions, so to speak, and in either case reject the person clearly should you have no interest in interacting with them.

 

[Rhianni]

Yeah, I have.

Just two weeks ago, a drunk guy was trying to touch me against my will while I was waiting for my train at a local train station. He was creepily persistent about it. When he tried it for the first time, I gave him my best murderous glare (I'm very good at murderous glares in case you're wondering) and told him to get away from my personal space. He seemed to respect my wish as he went away, but he only did it so that he could emerge from the other side of the building and touch me from behind where I couldn't see him. That was when I started swearing so loudly that I got pretty much everyone's attention. I was genuinely ready to defend myself physically at that point, but my friend who was with me (and who apparently has stronger sense of self-preservation than me) dragged me away.

That's not my only experience with creeps, but it's the most recent one. They suck. That being said, they're usually cowards, so they tend to drop whatever intentions they had the second you decide to fight back. Especially if you're in a public space.

 

[Elowyn]

Yeah, I have.

Just two weeks ago, a drunk guy was trying to touch me against my will while I was waiting for my train at a local train station. He was creepily persistent about it. When he tried it for the first time, I gave him my best murderous glare (I'm very good at murderous glares in case you're wondering) and told him to get away from my personal space. He seemed to respect my wish as he went away, but he only did it so that he could emerge from the other side of the building and touch me from behind where I couldn't see him. That was when I started swearing so loudly that I got pretty much everyone's attention. I was genuinely ready to defend myself physically at that point, but my friend who was with me (and who apparently has stronger sense of self-preservation than me) dragged me away.

That's not my only experience with creeps, but it's the most recent one. They suck. That being said, they're usually cowards, so they tend to drop whatever intentions they had the second you decide to fight back. Especially if you're in a public space.

Gotcha. Dang, that sucks though. Is it the area you were in was more sketchy?

 

[Rhianni]

Gotcha. Dang, that sucks though. Is it the area you were in was more sketchy?

Not really, it's a fairly normal place. Though I guess you can say that my whole country is sketchy compared to the standards of the civilized world since I am Eastern European and I've seen some shit, haha.

 

[Elowyn]

Not really, it's a fairly normal place. Though I guess you can say that my whole country is sketchy compared to the standards of the civilized world since I am Eastern European and I've seen some shit, haha.

Oh dang. o.O

I'm sorry...

 

[myfanwy]

since it isn't too far of a walk, i (obviously) walk to work instead of driving in the morning and my best story takes place last year.

i was at the intersection of two busy roads waiting for the crosswalk to let me go and this dude is sitting in his car next to me yelling to try to get my attention. growing up in a small county i've gotten really good at ignoring people, but this douchenozzle doesn't get the hint.

he drives off but then pulls a very dangerous, very illegal u-turn to wait for me at the other side. as i'm walking, he continues to yell and is getting more violent with his words.

i don't have time for old dudes so i keep walking and ignoring him and he drives by me two more times, shouting somewhat offensive names.

like dude... ur old as fvck and married why the hell do you think i'm attracted.

there are more stories but they can be summed up by creepy old guys getting the irl bloccw

 

[Elowyn]

myfanwy maybe the guy was drunk or high... or had a mental illness. >_> <_<

I remember once I was at a farmer's market and out of the corner of my eye I see this old dude looking at me and he licks his lips. Scares the daylights out of me but I just calmly squared myself to face the vendor and ignored him despite the hammering of my heart.

Seriously, I think they're sick in the head.

 

[SandraDeelightful]

When dealing with creeps, I ignore them, or block them online.

 

[Suum]

I think it's important not to discriminate and to make a clear division. Those catcalling and those going beyond boundaries you've laid out to them are both effectively being creepy, but how you handle those two types of people really should be very different in respect of their differences.

The catcaller (and related forms of creep) is being impolite and should naturally be ignored, but we've all been impolite and/or disrespectful to someone at some point in our lives. That really needs to be taken into consideration before being hypocritical and lashing out.

Those intentionally going beyond boundaries you've made clear are those that may deserve your harsh words because you shouldn't tolerate negative experiences or people making a negative impact in your life. You only get one after all.

 

[Randomfella]

Just ignore calls and messages if you don't like them. Perhaps if someone you know is making you uncomfortable simply tell them, as normally they aren't aware.

I would always recommend learning to defend yourself though, and depending on where you are avoid large groups of males you don't know.

 

[MegaGoatBabe]

I have a similar issue, I keep getting rude and vulgar messages on Facebook and Twitter and I usually respond with something sharp but not too mean, just kind of reprimanding them. But then they respond with "who are you, why did you message me" and then I send them a screenshot of their first message and they respond with "your crazy"??? Like no you messaged me you creep. At that point I usually just block them.

 

[Elowyn]

I have a similar issue, I keep getting rude and vulgar messages on Facebook and Twitter and I usually respond with something sharp but not too mean, just kind of reprimanding them. But then they respond with "who are you, why did you message me" and then I send them a screenshot of their first message and they respond with "your crazy"??? Like no you messaged me you creep. At that point I usually just block them.

wow, that's weird!

 

[MegaGoatBabe]

It is super frustrating cause then I think , Are they actually creeps or did someone hack them, send me a message and then delete it so the original user couldn't see. I am doubtful of that though because it happens so frequently I think it is just a creep strategy to keep them from taking the blame for their own vulgarity.

 

[Elowyn]

It is super frustrating cause then I think , Are they actually creeps or did someone hack them, send me a message and then delete it so the original user couldn't see. I am doubtful of that though because it happens so frequently I think it is just a creep strategy to keep them from taking the blame for their own vulgarity.

Who knows... do you have security on your phone?

 

[MegaGoatBabe]

Who knows... do you have security on your phone?

I have no clue. Maybe it is a virus on my end

 

[Wasted Ink]

Daaaamn, sounds rough. :/ I once received explicit images from an older woman that I met in League of Legends, but other than that, I haven't experienced unwanted attention. Sounds like it sucks though.

 

[Elowyn]

Daaaamn, sounds rough. :/ I once received explicit images from an older woman that I met in League of Legends, but other than that, I haven't experienced unwanted attention. Sounds like it sucks though.

ah, lucky~

I mean, on one side I guess it's sort of a skewed compliment? But then I've read on the web when older ladies were just waaay too into that kind of passing compliment on their body and it's kinda gross.