Character Critique Thread

[DamagedGlasses]

@welian @Gus @St Stare 


Alright, I appreciate all the feedback for my characters, and I am sure I could tag a lot more wonderful people, but it is late and my mind is slowly going to sleep!


That being said, MAINFRAME's personality, backstory, and relationships have been adjusted to fit the new image of MAINFRAME I wanted. 




Also, regarding Maximilian, I really do appreciate the trust, Welian. And for Stare's sake, I can certainly lower the Skill # limit of his power to 25 if that's good for you, but I'd like to keep it greater or equal to 20 and at an interval of 5. The former because going any lower would cut into more skills than I'd personally like, and the latter because I would drive myself and others like me up the wall eventually if I made the cap a number like 23. Regardless, I'll be working on his backstory tomorrow and have it up for everyone's feedback. 


And, speaking of feedback, any on the new MAINFRAME would be accepted with open arms!  

 

[JustNicole]

Oops. I linked the wrong CS and applied the wrong changes. Everything should be fixed now with proper links.


Changes made to Julie. I am looking for critiques and feedback on her, specifically from Character Committee and GMs, although other feedback is appreciated.

• Updated relationships to reflect a new relationship with Olivier based on discussions with @DamagedGlasses
  
• Stinger power clarified and explained in a more significant way
  
  Should be no ambiguity or haziness as to how her stinger power works and operates now.
  

• Stinger:
  
  
  Physics: Julie can project the field that causes her own atoms to shrink while she is shrunk in short bursts. This would cause all the atoms within an inch or so of her palms to shrink and pop back to normal size repeatedly in a sort of cascading wave. This wave appears like a small ripple through the air and makes a soft popping sound originating from Julie's hands when it is formed. It does not change the fundamental chemistry of living tissue or cloth, other wise shrinking would kill Julie and destroy her clothing. It does however cause energetic orbital transitions of the electrons which would emit energy as photons of various wavelengths, which are interpreted by nervous tissue as pain. Conductive materials would rapidly heat due to the large scale movement of free valence electrons (like sparking metal in a microwave), enabling her to cut/burn a small hole approximately an inch tall. This is not a fast process and is only used in moments of desperation. Natural human reaction on instinct to try and swat/slap the area with their hand where the pain is perceived from. It would feel like something landed/hit them with burning sensation (much like a regular bee sting). The sting penetrates about an inch but no further through almost any armor.
  
  [*]Details: Julie is able to use this power from range. However, the range of the shot decreases the effectiveness of the pain as the energy spent on air reduces its strength. It has a fast travel time through air akin to the speed of a bullet. There is nothing physically damaging about the stinger other than the PERCEIVED pain. Each time Julie stings a target, their body becomes more receptive to the pain. That is to say that while a starting sting may not hurt, each sting she lands causes the next sting to not only be painful, but to be slightly more painful to the target. This gives her string a ramp-up capability. This weakness towards her stings lasts for roughly an hour since her last sting. The ramp-up is not multiplicative. Each sting (close or long) raises the target’s intolerance towards her stings by their respective same flat (close and long have different flat amounts) amount each time. r
  
  [*]Ranges: 
  
  Close range stings: Faster ramp-up time and energy. The starting point is about a 6/7 on the pain scale, but with a short amount of additional close-range stings, it can quickly ramp up to level 10 resulting in unconsciousness or debilitation on a normal human. She is able to incapacitate a normal human in about four seconds provided little to no body armor.
  
  [*]Long range stings: Slower ramp-up time and energy. A sting shot from one end of the hallway to another would probably be a borderline 2-3 across the room would be a solid 3. Anything farther than that and it is a 1 or 0. It requires landing lots of shots to increase the pain scale from long range stings typically longer than your average fight will last, making long range stings useful, but not the preferred method.

[*]Defense (Limitation): Any super or human with defensive capabilities (higher than 2) reduces the amount of perceived pain at all stages, but does not affect ramp-up speed of multiple stings. That is to say on a 10 on defense, they might only perceive the pain of a close range sting at a 3, but it is still ramps up at the same speed as it would a normal human, it just starts at a lower level.

[*]Removed increased strength from form, form now has less than human strength

[*]Re-distrusted skill attributes, specifically:

• 
  STR - 2
  
• ENG + 2
  

 

[Stickdom]

Hey everyone, first time hero maker here :3 I heard this was the place to go when you want to get a character looked at. I've got most of her all finished up, I just need to flesh out the history and add some descriptions to her personality, but that's basically all there is to her. I'm actually a little nervous, she's an updated remake of my very first character, same name and powers and mostly everything, just tweaked it to be more appropriate to this setting. I'm kinda iffy about her powers, I'm always super anxious that other people will think I'm a too far towards the "overpowered" end of the spectrum, I just hope I put in the proper limitations and downsides to her that makes it all seem worth it. I like a character with growth potential, and I actually trimmed off a few extraneous abilities the original Claire had, so I hope she looks presentable, but feel free to critique it to your heart's content, I'm willing to take all the advice and input I can get :3 Anyway, that's enough of me running my mouth,  so here she is:

 

[Gus]

First glance, looks like a solid  character.


(Sorry. Had to.)


Now that's out of the way, I am a little concerned about the constructs, as it doesn't seem clear what they can do exactly.  Can you make an astral godzilla and knock down buildings? Or more like patrick swayze doing a little light telekinesis for demi moore. (Google them in IMDB if you're not as old as dirt)


Anyway, that is my main concern. Being intangible and invulnerable to physical damage while still able to affect the physical world, even a little tiny bit, is potentially very powerful. Not saying it can't ever happen at all, just that I for one would be pretty wary of that, and would need to see it better defined, if that makes sense.


If it takes everything you've got to flick a penny or push a button, fine.  If you can engage in one way fisticuffs, then yikes! Would have to think hard about that.


If you can make a ghost godzilla and stomp real tokyo into the ground… I don't think so.


That said, I think you have a case for knocking her down a rank to C by reducing energy from 9 to 6 and otherwise leaving her unchanged. 9 energy is off the charts, and is generally reserved for characters who can put a hole in the world without even meaning to do so. Last episode, we had a C-rank reclassified as A when her eye beam power knocked down the Francis Scott Key bridge. From two miles away.  


So since projection is mainly a will based thing, assuming you are not planning crazy green lantern (ghost lantern?) shenanigans with the constructs, 6 should do for energy. Seems like that should still be highish for moving fast and stuff.  We had a D rank astral projection kid previously, but his range limit was about 15 feet.


I assume she 'flies' while astral? I don't think you specified, but it kinda goes with the territory...


That's about all I have for initial thoughts.


Looking forward to writing with you!

 

[Gus]

I suppose omnidirectional implies flying on second reading.  


How fast can she move? That would be good to specify. Does she slow as she tires out, or is she just as fast even near her time limit?


How far does her sense of other minds extend? 100 feet? 1000? 2 miles? Line of 'sight'?


Finally (probably) a ballpark range of her default time limit would be good, as well as a rough estimate of how much exertion will likely shorten that.

 

[Stickdom]

@Gus Good observations, I had actually thought of most/all of those to some degree or another, I just "forgot" to portray them in the CS because I assumed they were given in one way or another and was really trying to lean towards simplicity (That's like the third draft, the first two had metaphysics and supernatural science explanations and I thought it was too much to overload anyone with, so I cut out as much as I thought was superfluous XD). 


I'll drop some explanations here and get  some more opinion on them when I get the chance, but I just got to work for the night shift, so I'all be in and out of RpN until break time in a bit. Thanks for the quick feedback, I like the depth of thought in all the questions, I'll try to match them all in my responses.

 

[Stickdom]

Spoiler

Alright, @Gus, issue #1: Astral Constructs and how to make them. 


I think I was pretty clear in this section of the power bio that she can't create these from nothing (unless I accidentally deleted that fact, oops), so no random Ghostzillas knocking down Spookyo City. What I thought was conveyed was that she can take incorporeal energy and give it a corporeal form. So, imagine this as some random telekinesis user:



Spoiler



Yeah yeah, it's Raven.

That image is how a normal/non-psychic person would see it, the telekinetic power emanating from her hand and surrounding the object being affected. Inside the Astral Plane, however, Claire would be able to see Raven's "connection", the tethers of psychic energy leading directly from her hand to le rock, as well as the full extent of the psychic energy surrounding the rock to hold it up, like a big blob of energy mass surrounding it to support the weight proportional to how much power is being expended to do so. Now when said telekinetic turns their power off, it cuts the tether and the energy scatters about the Astral plane since it's no longer being controlled. It's this loose, formless energy that Claire can manipulate, gathering up the tiny pieces floating around like soap bubbles to who knows where. The greater the power being used, the more numerous and larger the pieces are. She's really just repurposing other people's spent psychic energy at a much lower level because it's already been used, so let'a say it's got 1/10th the potential strength. A telekinetic picks up a car and throws it, the energy left behind might be enough to form something similar to a decent-sized blade or a flat person-sized barrier. But, these are still Astral energies, they can't affect the physical world, so she can conceivably collect a billion pieces and make a Ghostie Godzilla, but it'll just walk through everything with no damage done, though it might cause some interference with any psychic energy others are using around. But that's only speculative and practically impossible by any normal means, it would have to have the support of at least several hundred high-ranked telekinetics constantly spewing their power to provide all of that energy.


The only efficient way to use these constraints is to use energy that hasn't already been "spent", e.g. someone's lifeforce. The most readily available is Claire's own at any point at the cost of literally draining her, followed immediately by using someone else's but only if they volunteer to be "used", no psychic vampirism to suck their life out.


Now, that ties into issue #2, back in a bit to start up that one. 

 

[Stickdom]

Spoiler

Okay, issue #2: Intangibility and the Ghostly Goo.


This one's pretty easy to explain. The problem is that Claire can remain intangible and physically untouchable while punching out the bad dudes. The solution: she can't. 


While being intangible, Claire can't interact with objects, right? Right. Then how does she do just that? The answer is straight-forward: become tangible. "But Stick, I thought this was all Astro-ghost stuff?" Well, let's look to our local experts:



Spoiler



Who you gonna call?

This substance is ectoplasm, a physical manifestation of spiritual energy, in our case, "solid Astral energy". When Claire interacts with the physical world, she converts Astral energy into ectoplasm, the same concept of changing water's state from gas to a liquid to a solid by cooling it, which is why ghosts and spiritual energies are described as "cold", they're practically "frozen" energy. So not only does this process take time to convert from one phase to another, but once it's complete, the ectoplasm is totally tangible, meaning that anyone fighting against it can fight right back. So if Claire can interact with the physical world, it can interact with her in turn, which is actually almost a disadvantage because now she can be affected by both physical and psychic powers rather than just psychic alone. The conversion process also takes a bit of energy, since she's solidifying pure psychic energy into a solid form, thus shortening her limit of how long she can keep holding her Astral form (we'll discuss the mysterious "limit" shortly). This also applies to energy outside of her own form, such as forming a weapon, barrier, or tool out of ectoplasm is possible, but it takes just as much to convert it to a solid as it does herself.


So size is a factor, the larger the object "created", the more of her power it takes to make it so, anything with more mass than herself (assuming physical bodily mass as a measurement, Astral items weigh pretty much nothing but it's a decent size comparison) is going to take significantly more work to make. Assuming all the optimum conditions at her current ability, such as being at her maximum power, having an ample reserve of energy to shape, and no interference from you meddling kids, I would have gotten away with it too outside forces, the most she'd be able to create on her own is like a 20-foot ghostly dome barrier, a handful of ethereal swords, or a mass of ectoplasmic tendrils to grab stuff 10-feet away. Certainly not a Ghostzilla that moves on its own to destroy skyscrapers and such, she can't bestow movement on these constructs without constant contact  and pouring her energy into them to change shape rapidly, so any sort of golem or creature would pretty much put her into a coma immediately. 


Issue #3 upcoming after these short messages.






Disregard these spoilers/posts, I wrote that all out and realized that it was straying away from my character concept, I think I might already have some readjusting to do, but I'm saving this content for future reference, if only for what points to avoid.


Thanks @Gus for prompting me to look over all the details again. :3

 

[Stickdom]

I do have a question regarding character growth in this RP. @Gus, you mentioned this line in particular:

Last episode, we had a C-rank reclassified as A when her eye beam power knocked down the Francis Scott Key bridge. From two miles away.

I was under the impression that characters didn't change stats or ranks at all over the course of this RP, hence why I put her Energy at 9 to begin with. She hasn't reached that potential yet, but I'm toying with having her develop more substantial powers over time and having those stats from the get-go seemed the only way to assure that was even on the table. I want to leave open the possibility that she can grow stronger, not confine her to permanently being "Mostly Harmless". Am I going about it the wrong way? Am I missing some factor here that allows for characters to change and develop their abilities over the course of the RP? I was fairly certain I was told that the ranking system was rigid and had no room for upward movement. :/

 

[Gus]

I do have a question regarding character growth in this RP. @Gus, you mentioned this line in particular:


I was under the impression that characters didn't change stats or ranks at all over the course of this RP, hence why I put her Energy at 9 to begin with. She hasn't reached that potential yet, but I'm toying with having her develop more substantial powers over time and having those stats from the get-go seemed the only way to assure that was even on the table. I want to leave open the possibility that she can grow stronger, not confine her to permanently being "Mostly Harmless". Am I going about it the wrong way? Am I missing some factor here that allows for characters to change and develop their abilities over the course of the RP? I was fairly certain I was told that the ranking system was rigid and had no room for upward movement. :/

Vicky was a special case, as she was originally submitted before we even HAD an energy stat. She is one of several reasons why that stat was added.  Powers are not meant to develop over time except insofar as the plot may offer new and creative ways to use existing powers.  I am a little concerned already with the power set as described. The development of the psychic world to the degree that the CS and your clarifications implies may run afoul of the existing lore of the AEGISverse. (though that is obviously a question for @welian )


As for me, I am really wary of an intangible character that can create tangible effects of any kind, as I noted previously. I would feel much more comfortable with a character who while out of her body could only cause mental effects such as a surge of wellness or maybe a burst of fear as an attack?  The idea of making blades or shields, while a far cry from godzilla still suggests problematic combat potential. At the very least it would need to have much better defined limitations and capabilities. 


Don't get me wrong, I really like the character concept. It is only bridging that gap that might be a bridge too far, if that makes sense?

 

[welian]

I got tagged, is it time to go to loretown?


@Stickdom Astral projection is always a good, straightforward power to go for. However, I'd shy away from using terminology like "realm of psychic energy" because in-universe, researchers are not entirely possible how powers work - just that they do. Hence, an on-going debate in-universe (but not touched upon in the story) about the true nature of "enigma particles" and why some people seem to be able to kinda-sorta bend natural laws to do shit that most people shouldn't be able to do. It's a subtle thing, but if I were you, I'd err on the side of using words like "dimension" in place of "realm", or just avoiding explaining what makes her powers work entirely. And, as Gus said, I would also avoid allowing her to affect the physical world while she is intangible.

 

[Stickdom]

Vicky was a special case, as she was originally submitted before we even HAD an energy stat. She is one of several reasons why that stat was added.  Powers are not meant to develop over time except insofar as the plot may offer new and creative ways to use existing powers.  I am a little concerned already with the power set as described. The development of the psychic world to the degree that the CS and your clarifications implies may run afoul of the existing lore of the AEGISverse. (though that is obviously a question for @welian )


As for me, I am really wary of an intangible character that can create tangible effects of any kind, as I noted previously. I would feel much more comfortable with a character who while out of her body could only cause mental effects such as a surge of wellness or maybe a burst of fear as an attack?  The idea of making blades or shields, while a far cry from godzilla still suggests problematic combat potential. At the very least it would need to have much better defined limitations and capabilities. 


Don't get me wrong, I really like the character concept. It is only bridging that gap that might be a bridge too far, if that makes sense?

I got tagged, is it time to go to loretown?


@Stickdom Astral projection is always a good, straightforward power to go for. However, I'd shy away from using terminology like "realm of psychic energy" because in-universe, researchers are not entirely possible how powers work - just that they do. Hence, an on-going debate in-universe (but not touched upon in the story) about the true nature of "enigma particles" and why some people seem to be able to kinda-sorta bend natural laws to do shit that most people shouldn't be able to do. It's a subtle thing, but if I were you, I'd err on the side of using words like "dimension" in place of "realm", or just avoiding explaining what makes her powers work entirely. And, as Gus said, I would also avoid allowing her to affect the physical world while she is intangible.

Done and done. I actually came to the same conclusions as I went back over the CS that she was a little far out of her league for this. I've re-written her powers (in a separate private workshop thread for now) to be more specific and less "vague terminology driven". I'll take the dimension vs realm into account (though it amounts to the same). Also, I opted out of the whole tangible/intangible duality, she's either tangible or intangible, and there's a (sub)power for either, but they don't mix. So, no ghost boxing and no Ghostzillas in Claire 2.0, coming soon to a CS near you.

 

[Gus]

Looking forward to 2.0


My only regret is using ghostzilla as my example instead of the Stay-Puft Marshmallow Man.

 

[Stickdom]

Alright, here's Claire's updated abilities to make them more specific and less omnipotent:

Spoiler

• Astral Projection: Ghostly consciousness can travel away from the body.
  

   Claire has the ability to eject her consciousness from her body into the Astral plane, the layer of reality that contains psychic energy. While in this state, her physical body is reduced to an unconscious shell, maintaining only normal bodily functions automatically. She retains all of her senses and is able to move omnidirectionally even through solid objects. Her movement is the same as if she were swimming through air or walking through water, able to move in any direction but tiring more quickly the faster she moves.  


~Supporting powers

• Phantasms: Astral energy can be shaped into solid extensions of the body (tendrils, limbs, etc.)
  

   While Claire's Astral body cannot interact with the world, she can assume another shape that can, an in-between phase of physical and incorporeal energy called ectoplasm. This form varies in solidity from a viscous ooze to wispy tendrils, solid enough to interact with the material world, but metaphysical enough to affect psychic energies as well. This works in reverse, the ectoplasm can be destroyed by physical harm and psychic attacks are particularly strong against them. Also, this ectoplasm must have a "source", as it is still Claire's consciousness, it cannot detach from the host body, but provides her with additional means to use her power in the physical world. This ectoplasmic energy can take a multitude of shapes, but the limitations of size are equal in mass to her own physical body, as they are a representation of her consciousness manifested.

• Mindspace: Share mental space with an individual, allowing transfer of thoughts directly.
  

   Claire's Astral form is her consciousness set free, but it also her lifeforce and her sanity held together by her willpower in the chaotic Astral plane.. In order to maintain both and not be fragmented across the Astral plane, Claire must rest her mind regularly, the safest place being in her own body. Lacking that, she can take refuge in the mind of another individual also. To enter a separate mind, Claire must either be allowed into their consciousness willingly or must break in by force against their willpower, significantly difficult according to their psychic power. A willing host can share thoughts with her while she resides in their body, while a hostile mind can repel and remove her by closing their thoughts, ejecting her from their mind back to the Astral plane. Psychics are especially potent at sensing or removing her presence, while normal humans may not even notice she is resting in their thoughts momentarily.  While in another body, Claire may use them as the "source" for her phantasms, allowing her to project her ghostly extensions from them to support or protect them independent of their actions (see Phantasms above). 






Limitations:

• Having The Time Of Your Life: Claire's safe limit outside of a body is eight consecutive hours. Anything past that will cause her mind to fragment and effectively lose her sanity while the pieces drift aimlessly around the Astral plane. To restore this limit, Claire must rest for an amount of time double the limit spent (2 hours of rest = 1 hour of limit restored, etc). This ratio is further extended to triple when in a body that is not her own (three hours rest = 1 hour limit restored). Claire is aware of her limit and approximately how long she has to use until she reaches it.
  
• Ragdoll Effect: Claire's body is an empty shell when her Astral form leaves it, only barely breathing and heart slowly pumping blood, as if she were in a coma. Any damage to her consciousness will also reflect on her body, no matter the distance, intense pain can cause the inert "corpse" to even scream or cry while in this perpetual sleep. Usually Claire will only use her ability if she has left her body in a secure location or has entrusted its care to a literal bodyguard.
  
• Not A Rubber Band: She cannot "snap" her consciousness back to her body in an instant, her Astral form must find its way back to her body manually. If the body is moved or misplaced, she would have to move to it. Claire's consciousness always has a general idea of the direction her body is in, but does not have a pinpoint recognition of its location or surroundings.
  
• Tight Leash: Claire has no limit to how far her Astral form can travel from her body, however it does decrease in power the further she is. The optimum range is within a mile of her body, with her movement speed and power halving for each half mile beyond that as she maintains her sense of awareness. While Claire is resting in another's body, her power level is treated as optimum, regardless of distance from her own body.
  
• Not Quite Undetectable: Under normal circumstances, her spirit is nearly invisible to the naked eye unless one is looking for her specifically, and even then only as a faint shimmering in the air. However, even a novice psychic can sense her presence immediately and will know her general whereabouts while a practiced medium or telepath will see her form clearly and distinctly at all times (in as much as their own powers allow them to visualize psychic energy). Powerful telepathy or strong psychic attacks can force her from a host body that is not her own rather easily, while her consciousness is as safe in her own body as any other individual is from said attack.
  

Basically going for "ghost girl" powers, she can enter and leave her body at will, and sometimes into the body of another "possession"-style (though a lot harder if the subject is unwilling or hostile, they can kick her out if they try), and some spoopy ghost phantasms for making attacks and stuff. The only thing vague about the phantasms is their exact qualities, those are pretty interchangable, but if you're worried about them getting out of hand, this is basically the applications I was thinking of for them:

Spoiler

 

[Syrenrei]

So she can do astral projection for up to eight (8) consecutive hours and can move in any direction (up, down, through objects, people, etc.) within a mile with no real restrictions, and farther if she chooses with less power,  but her physical body is defenseless and she needs to manually return to it. If her body is moved, she could run into issues. This seems pretty cool as you can see how the power would be useful but also have real restrictions. It would be impossible to shut her out of private conversations she's not supposed to see, she can follow people discreetly, she can observe things from a relatively safe distance, etc. There are lots of cool applications for this.


In addition she can manifest limbs from either her body OR her host body. What are the drawbacks to this? Sure, they can be damaged by physical and psychic harm but how much? What kinds? If they dissolve on impact from a strong slap, what sort of purpose would they serve in the real world? If I am correct she can both be intangible in someone else's body as an astral project and tangible insomuch as she manifests these phantasms?


AND she has telepathy with willing individuals whom she can 'possess.' From how I'm reading it, would most non-psychic characters not be able to sense and repel her? What are the draw-backs or limitations to doing this? Can she freely read the minds of anyone she passes through with astral projection unless they are a psychic and able to detect her? Keep in mind that most characters as far as I am aware are not psychic.


I get how the abilities are tied together but it is essentially someone who is able to partake in astral projection and manifest psychic energy on herself or whatever body she hosts and she can read the thoughts of people she passes through and she can manifest this psychic energy when within someone else? I'm not part of the character committee, but this reads as a Rank A or S character based on the fact she could be using astral projection, resting in someone else, completely intangible, able to read her host's thoughts, and using phantasms while in that body. That is quite potent!

 

[Gus]

@welian I NOMINATE @Syrenrei FOR THE CHARACTER COMMITTEEEEEEEE! 

 

[welian]

I do too, except for the part where I'd like to have people be in here at least a few months to get a better feel for the setting.

 

[Gus]

And it is insights like that that make YOU the GM :-D

 

[Stickdom]

So she can do astral projection for up to eight (8) consecutive hours and can move in any direction (up, down, through objects, people, etc.) within a mile with no real restrictions, and farther if she chooses with less power,  but her physical body is defenseless and she needs to manually return to it. If her body is moved, she could run into issues. This seems pretty cool as you can see how the power would be useful but also have real restrictions. It would be impossible to shut her out of private conversations she's not supposed to see, she can follow people discreetly, she can observe things from a relatively safe distance, etc. There are lots of cool applications for this.


In addition she can manifest limbs from either her body OR her host body. What are the drawbacks to this? Sure, they can be damaged by physical and psychic harm but how much? What kinds? If they dissolve on impact from a strong slap, what sort of purpose would they serve in the real world? If I am correct she can both be intangible in someone else's body as an astral project and tangible insomuch as she manifests these phantasms?


AND she has telepathy with willing individuals whom she can 'possess.' From how I'm reading it, would most non-psychic characters not be able to sense and repel her? What are the draw-backs or limitations to doing this? Can she freely read the minds of anyone she passes through with astral projection unless they are a psychic and able to detect her? Keep in mind that most characters as far as I am aware are not psychic.


I get how the abilities are tied together but it is essentially someone who is able to partake in astral projection and manifest psychic energy on herself or whatever body she hosts and she can read the thoughts of people she passes through and she can manifest this psychic energy when within someone else? I'm not part of the character committee, but this reads as a Rank A or S character based on the fact she could be using astral projection, resting in someone else, completely intangible, able to read her host's thoughts, and using phantasms while in that body. That is quite potent!

Agreed, she is quite potent, though perhaps I misrepresented some of the abilities if that's how they're percieved. She isn't meant to be telepathic, since that's a whole other power entirely. The main focus of that power is to use someone else's body as a "rest stop" if she needs to. It's purely a side-effect that, since the "host" maintains control of said body, they can sense Claire is there and send thoughts to her as a means of communicating to her. Only the thoughts they intentionally send to her are intercepted, she can't pick through their brain or control their thoughts. She's not "possessing" them, she's a passenger, not the driver. As far as psychics or non-psychics detecting her goes, she can only enter a willing mind, remember that. Touching someone else's mindspace alerts them to her presence, basically her way of "knocking" to be let in. If it's a non-psychic, they'll feel uneasy or like someone is watching them, and she can address them by sending a thought like "can I come in?" If she knocks on a psychic's mind, they'll recognize it as another psychic power not their own and be able to confront her (though being psychic, they can see her anyway). Hope that cleared things up a bit, that was the intended description but I tried to keep it as word-shallow as possible not to make the CS utterly overwhelming. 


The phantasms are just her exertion of her power over the physical world, they really aren't anything that spectacular in power. They're not "weak", as durable as human limbs at the most, but usually they're more like, say, octopus tentacles or tendrils, flexible and kind of frail but good for grabbing or grappling. I honestly just wanted them to give her some combat capability, being ethereal is cool and all but kinda useless in a scrap, especially if it leaves your body a lump on the floor. I know combat isn't the focus of this RP, but I would rather have some kind of ability adaptable to that situation when it arises.


An alternative to the phantasms that I'm still really heavily considering was having her actually possess objects and beings, which was really cool and useful, but I was pretty sure that was a no-go considering the rules stating that you can't commandeer other characters and their things because it's god-modding or somesuch. If we can figure out a way to make that work, I'd rather totally drop the "phantasms" in favor of some possession, I'd even be cool with just objects or NPCs or something, but then I'd have to figure out all the new limitations and setbacks and such.


[COLOR= rgb(39, 42, 52)]You know, I really want to make this character work, and there are some parts[/COLOR]


[COLOR= rgb(39, 42, 52)] of her that I'm still willing to adapt. But I'm [/COLOR]beginning to think that in order to get the character I want to play, I'm going to have to bump her rank up a few notches, at least A. I dunno, I want her to be able to cover most of the bases, but also don't want her to cover them TOO well, ya know? :/

 

[Stickdom]

So she can do astral projection for up to eight (8) consecutive hours and can move in any direction (up, down, through objects, people, etc.) within a mile with no real restrictions, and farther if she chooses with less power,  but her physical body is defenseless and she needs to manually return to it. If her body is moved, she could run into issues. This seems pretty cool as you can see how the power would be useful but also have real restrictions. It would be impossible to shut her out of private conversations she's not supposed to see, she can follow people discreetly, she can observe things from a relatively safe distance, etc. There are lots of cool applications for this.


In addition she can manifest limbs from either her body OR her host body. What are the drawbacks to this? Sure, they can be damaged by physical and psychic harm but how much? What kinds? If they dissolve on impact from a strong slap, what sort of purpose would they serve in the real world? If I am correct she can both be intangible in someone else's body as an astral project and tangible insomuch as she manifests these phantasms?


AND she has telepathy with willing individuals whom she can 'possess.' From how I'm reading it, would most non-psychic characters not be able to sense and repel her? What are the draw-backs or limitations to doing this? Can she freely read the minds of anyone she passes through with astral projection unless they are a psychic and able to detect her? Keep in mind that most characters as far as I am aware are not psychic.


I get how the abilities are tied together but it is essentially someone who is able to partake in astral projection and manifest psychic energy on herself or whatever body she hosts and she can read the thoughts of people she passes through and she can manifest this psychic energy when within someone else? I'm not part of the character committee, but this reads as a Rank A or S character based on the fact she could be using astral projection, resting in someone else, completely intangible, able to read her host's thoughts, and using phantasms while in that body. That is quite potent!

Agreed, she is quite potent, though perhaps I misrepresented some of the abilities if that's how they're percieved. She isn't meant to be telepathic, since that's a whole other power entirely. The main focus of that power is to use someone else's body as a "rest stop" if she needs to. It's purely a side-effect that, since the "host" maintains control of said body, they can sense Claire is there and send thoughts to her as a means of communicating to her. Only the thoughts they intentionally send to her are intercepted, she can't pick through their brain or control their thoughts. She's not "possessing" them, she's a passenger, not the driver. As far as psychics or non-psychics detecting her goes, she can only enter a willing mind, remember that. Touching someone else's mindspace alerts them to her presence, basically her way of "knocking" to be let in. If it's a non-psychic, they'll feel uneasy or like someone is watching them, and she can address them by sending a thought like "can I come in?" If she knocks on a psychic's mind, they'll recognize it as another psychic power not their own and be able to confront her (though being psychic, they can see her anyway). Hope that cleared things up a bit, that was the intended description but I tried to keep it as word-shallow as possible not to make the CS utterly overwhelming. 


The phantasms are just her exertion of her power over the physical world, they really aren't anything that spectacular in power. They're not "weak", as durable as human limbs at the most, but usually they're more like, say, octopus tentacles or tendrils, flexible and kind of frail but good for grabbing or grappling. I honestly just wanted them to give her some combat capability, being ethereal is cool and all but kinda useless in a scrap, especially if it leaves your body a lump on the floor. I know combat isn't the focus of this RP, but I would rather have some kind of ability adaptable to that situation when it arises.


An alternative to the phantasms that I'm still really heavily considering was having her actually possess objects and beings, which was really cool and useful, but I was pretty sure that was a no-go considering the rules stating that you can't commandeer other characters and their things because it's god-modding or somesuch. If we can figure out a way to make that work, I'd rather totally drop the "phantasms" in favor of some possession, I'd even be cool with just objects or NPCs or something, but then I'd have to figure out all the new limitations and setbacks and such.


You know, I really want to make this character work, and there are some parts of her that I'm still willing to adapt. But I'm beginning to think that in order to get the character I want to play, I'm going to have to bump her rank up a few notches, at least A. I dunno, I want her to be able to cover most of the bases, but also don't want her to cover them TOO well, ya know? 

 

[Syrenrei]

I get what you're going for. I guess the question you need to ask yourself is are you happy playing just one powerful character or will you want to play two characters? If you have a Rank S character (which I was advised would be hard to get approved) you can't make another character until the next episode reaches 125 posts and then it will need to be rank E if I remember correctly. So just keep that in mind.


I think the phantasms (to me) feel out of place, but I am admittedly a person that doesn't really focus on the combat aspect of a roleplay at all. Imogen, my character, is Rank A but has absolutely no offense abilities whatsoever. It's all about what you want to do. If you want a character that can stand on the "front lines" with someone that has powers with physical applications you're going to need to sink a lot of focus, points, and weaknesses in it to make it work. The more physical supers that are higher ranks can take hits and keep going, hit like a fuckin' truck, or blast you with lasers. Something like the phantasms you're describing won't go toe to toe with that. It's an improvement over a normal human, sure, but the first picture you used had a woman using it as phantasm fists. I think if that was the route you wanted to go you should go all the way. Sink points into agility to have them manifest and have lighting quick speed maybe? Or maybe make yourself capable of a phantasm shield that improves your durability?


I love astral projection. In my own RP I made a chick with astral projection because I think its an underutilized psionic ability and that is my JAM. Maybe she could only be able to enter the bodies of people that she has a positive relationship with? It would compel her to make friends and she could form an understanding with certain people. It would also prevent her from being able to just jump in anyone's body and go along for a ride and avoids the whole issue of how someone who isn't psychic would know how to resist/refuse her. Maybe when she's inside someone "along for the ride" she can also feel (physically) what they do and form a mental bond with them, but only when inside, and again only if they already have some sort of relationship.


I'd provide more advice on the combat front but even with Imogen at 8 health, I feel like I could get squished by several of the other supers like a bug. Like. a. bug.

 

[Stickdom]

@Syrenrei Yeah, I know about the CCPs for making new character, and I'm planning on playing her as my main character with a few possible secondary characters eventually. I honestly feel like she could be a higher powered character, but I don't want to immediately enter into the RP with "psychic nukes". I feel like her capabilities put her at about a B level at the very maximum, but I was really hoping there was room for growth as she learns more of her powers, maybe starting lower and gaining ranks, a concept this RP seems to discourage :/


Also, it might make a little more sense if I describe the character concept a little more clearly. The reason her stats are the way they are at the moment is I wanted a character who was physically weak, utterly helpless and frail, but had immense psychic power that was seemingly unexpected and nearly overwhelming if you didn't know to look for it. I'll admit, the similarities to Professor Xavier of X-men is rather uncanny, wheelchair and all, though more incidental than designed. I'm trying to stick to the "ghost" theme, a crippled and possibly terminally ill young girl trapped in a sick bed her whole life can suddenly explore the world just through her consciousness. That's kind of where the phantasms came from, her using her powers to do the things she wished she could do, able to move around and manipulate the environment in ways she had only imagined before. But you're right, they seem the most out of place, but I have yet to find something that accomplishes the same thing without ramping up her power to 11 or bending the rules of player interactions (specifically the "possession" aspect and how that can override a character's free will).


I like the idea of merging with people she is familiar with, especially since she has a kind and amiable personality and would probably make lots of friends, but since everything around here seems to run off of limitations, how do you put limits on friendship or companionship? How do you put that down on a CS without writing a novella on different types of relationships and how they all interact? I originally put her Astral Empathy in the first set of abilities (still in the CS listed above if you're curious), but that was a lot and even then it only covered half of the puzzle. I want to make this a thematic, cohesive character, but I'm having trouble making it all fit together in a way that makes the character I'm looking for without stepping on the RP's toes as far as rules and guidelines go :/

 

[Syrenrei]

@Stickdom I don't think you'd necessarily need to put a limit on the friendship. The limit is on the power (possession or whatever you want to call it) in that she needs to know the person and be acquainted with them in a positive way before she can attempt to "ride" inside them. If she can't control the body of, let's say Imogen since Imogen would let her do it, she can talk to her and feel like she's living vicariously through Imogen's experience of something. Maybe she asks if they can go on a rollercoaster or she wants to experience how different people feel during their use of superpowers.


It's up to the GMs and Character Committee really, but I think limiting who she can do it on, they must be willing, and she can't turn them into a monstrous hulk of ghostly power is probably sufficient to keep it from feeling like a totally overpowered ability.

 

[D. Rex]

@Syrenrei Yeah, I know about the CCPs for making new character, and I'm planning on playing her as my main character with a few possible secondary characters eventually. I honestly feel like she could be a higher powered character, but I don't want to immediately enter into the RP with "psychic nukes". I feel like her capabilities put her at about a B level at the very maximum, but I was really hoping there was room for growth as she learns more of her powers, maybe starting lower and gaining ranks, a concept this RP seems to discourage :/


Also, it might make a little more sense if I describe the character concept a little more clearly. The reason her stats are the way they are at the moment is I wanted a character who was physically weak, utterly helpless and frail, but had immense psychic power that was seemingly unexpected and nearly overwhelming if you didn't know to look for it. I'll admit, the similarities to Professor Xavier of X-men is rather uncanny, wheelchair and all, though more incidental than designed. I'm trying to stick to the "ghost" theme, a crippled and possibly terminally ill young girl trapped in a sick bed her whole life can suddenly explore the world just through her consciousness. That's kind of where the phantasms came from, her using her powers to do the things she wished she could do, able to move around and manipulate the environment in ways she had only imagined before. But you're right, they seem the most out of place, but I have yet to find something that accomplishes the same thing without ramping up her power to 11 or bending the rules of player interactions (specifically the "possession" aspect and how that can override a character's free will).


I like the idea of merging with people she is familiar with, especially since she has a kind and amiable personality and would probably make lots of friends, but since everything around here seems to run off of limitations, how do you put limits on friendship or companionship? How do you put that down on a CS without writing a novella on different types of relationships and how they all interact? I originally put her Astral Empathy in the first set of abilities (still in the CS listed above if you're curious), but that was a lot and even then it only covered half of the puzzle. I want to make this a thematic, cohesive character, but I'm having trouble making it all fit together in a way that makes the character I'm looking for without stepping on the RP's toes as far as rules and guidelines go :/

Hello there, and welcome! I am King, of the Character Committee. Not... THE King of the Character Committee... but you are welcome to call me that too.


I have yet to review your newest edition of your character. And I will here soon. 


But first, I would like to put out some thoughts that I like to do with most newcomers. Don't take anything I say here as negative, as nothing I am saying is for the intent of criticism. Constructive or otherwise. Just thing I think could make things easier for you, and good advice.


1. Don't fret too much over your rank. Ultimately, it is nothing more than a letter stamped onto a piece of paper. And is worth as bout as much as what it is printed on. Rather than thinking of it as a level of how badass or powerful your character is, instead think of it as just a simple classification based on what a power can do. These people go here, those people go there. As I said, it doesn't ultimately matter. As individual cases vary widely. I love me some extremes, so let us take Aaron "Galactus" Mallory, for instance. An S rank. Even someone as low as an E rank could take him with any technique that is remotely similar to cow tipping. Even given his mighty cosmic scale... he isn't that impressive. As far as heroing goes, he could at least ask bank robbers to kindly give up, as they walk away at a leisurely pace while flipping him the bird. (Sorry @Gus, I still love you.) On the other hand, D ranks can be devestating, badass, and all rek yo shite. Let us take three instances this time. Jordan, a C rank, and other genius supers, could potentially create S level super weapons. Because they geniuses. Next let's have Ophelia, a D rank. While her power is nothing impressive, nothing is stopping her from being badass. As even E rank humans are capable of impressive feats. Lastly, we would have Salem. A D rank. Given the nature of his internet power he could theoretically cripple countries by doing nothing more than breaking the internet. Further more, low ranks could and can be more impressive than higher ranks. Anyway, the moral of this is, don't let yourself be beholden by a need to reach ranks or have high stats. Your individual case will vary. And how how much fun you have will be determined by you, and your character, rather than a few numbers. Also, it should be mentioned that stats have absolutely nothing to do with combat. They are simply a tool to help gauge relative placement and help us understand things about your char. 


2. Seperately, in the char committee, we love seeing people make those with lower ranks. It's encouraged! While there is nothing wrong with wanting to make a powerful and impactful character,  we really enjoy seeing what people can do without using explosions, elemental manipulation, and laser beam eyes ( @KingHink seriously. You screwed up everything.) This goes for everyone, do not underestimate how much fun low ranks can be. Not only are we very disproportionate to how many D's we should have, but more can arguably be done with them in episodes as stories can focus on challenges and limitations rather than explosions. Don't get me wrong, I like explosions. And may or may not have blown up a bridge and don't regret it. Anyway, I ramble. Rather than think about stats and ranks first, think about what sort of story you want with your character. In my opinion, the most can be gotten from the "lower class". In my opinion, D ranks put the D in underdogs.


3. Finally something different. At the char committee, there is something very subtle and seemingly insignificant that some of us (like me) put a great amount of importance on wording. While sometimes it may seem nitpicky, there is a good reason we do pick out and ask certain phrases to be changed or clarified. We have pretty deep discussions on the matter. This goes back to what Welian mentioned about changing "realm" to "dimension", while it may seem a Petty difference to many. To us, we look into the implications of such things. This is a good example we can use. "The psychic realm", the term "the" insinuates it to be the definitive psychic realm. Which I don't like the wording, because the implications of the insinuation could lock potential future psychic users into a would be canon mechanic. By making a slight change, to "a psychic dimension" this takes away the implication, as now it offers freedom. Someone else who has an Astral projection super is now free to create as they please without stepping on toes. As well, this all ensures that their AP super won't be like your AP super. This ensures that even if powers may "seem" similar on the he surface, they could very well be quite different.


4. I like simple. This isn't so much of advice, as just a personal preference of mine you can use to win my vote in the committee. While there is nothing wrong with details, I appreciate seeing explanations as streamlined and easy to understand. It helps others too. I find this funny because @Gus is great at thinking up details. Perhaps it is for the best, as what we accept can end up having a good balance between detailed and streamlined.


5. There will be growth. By golly you grow like a teenage plant boy on a growth spurt and a miracle grow binge diet. There are ways of "growing" your power, like learning to it better, and is part of what is to be expected in a school like this for supers. But not in the way you are thinking of. Your rank won't change. It doesn't need to.it wouldn't matter if it did. Your power is your power. The gene in you won't change or evolve. Your powers are either on or off. What can grow is your control and competency of your power. And personal development of course. Your power is yours, and limited by your creativity, your Chars competence with it, and the limitations you set forth. As well as obvious things, obviously. Don't think of it as your power needs to grow, think of it as you need to grow. And that sort of growth you can take anywhere. 


6. Again. Less of advice, more of things we like to see. The char committee loves seeing limitations. The more you have the happier we will be. This section is what we look at the most, and generally become the most "nitpicky" over. This is because we have a lot of players and characters to keep in mind, and we want to nip problems in the bud. Fixing them before they could become a problem. As well as trying to keep balancing into account. Don't be shy, throw in the limitations and have fun with them!


Alright. I have been typing in this far longer than I have intended too. I didn't mean to turn it into a rant xD. 


But anyway, welcome again! And I am looking forward to reading over your CS again when I get the chance. Which I could have done in the span it took me to write this to be honest...

 

[Stickdom]

Hello there, and welcome! I am King, of the Character Committee. Not... THE King of the Character Committee... but you are welcome to call me that too.


I have yet to review your newest edition of your character. And I will here soon. 


But first, I would like to put out some thoughts that I like to do with most newcomers. Don't take anything I say here as negative, as nothing I am saying is for the intent of criticism. Constructive or otherwise. Just thing I think could make things easier for you, and good advice.


1. Don't fret too much over your rank. Ultimately, it is nothing more than a letter stamped onto a piece of paper. And is worth as bout as much as what it is printed on. Rather than thinking of it as a level of how badass or powerful your character is, instead think of it as just a simple classification based on what a power can do. These people go here, those people go there. As I said, it doesn't ultimately matter. As individual cases vary widely. I love me some extremes, so let us take Aaron "Galactus" Mallory, for instance. An S rank. Even someone as low as an E rank could take him with any technique that is remotely similar to cow tipping. Even given his mighty cosmic scale... he isn't that impressive. As far as heroing goes, he could at least ask bank robbers to kindly give up, as they walk away at a leisurely pace while flipping him the bird. (Sorry @Gus, I still love you.) On the other hand, D ranks can be devestating, badass, and all rek yo shite. Let us take three instances this time. Jordan, a C rank, and other genius supers, could potentially create S level super weapons. Because they geniuses. Next let's have Ophelia, a D rank. While her power is nothing impressive, nothing is stopping her from being badass. As even E rank humans are capable of impressive feats. Lastly, we would have Salem. A D rank. Given the nature of his internet power he could theoretically cripple countries by doing nothing more than breaking the internet. Further more, low ranks could and can be more impressive than higher ranks. Anyway, the moral of this is, don't let yourself be beholden by a need to reach ranks or have high stats. Your individual case will vary. And how how much fun you have will be determined by you, and your character, rather than a few numbers. Also, it should be mentioned that stats have absolutely nothing to do with combat. They are simply a tool to help gauge relative placement and help us understand things about your char. 


2. Seperately, in the char committee, we love seeing people make those with lower ranks. It's encouraged! While there is nothing wrong with wanting to make a powerful and impactful character,  we really enjoy seeing what people can do without using explosions, elemental manipulation, and laser beam eyes ( @KingHink seriously. You screwed up everything.) This goes for everyone, do not underestimate how much fun low ranks can be. Not only are we very disproportionate to how many D's we should have, but more can arguably be done with them in episodes as stories can focus on challenges and limitations rather than explosions. Don't get me wrong, I like explosions. And may or may not have blown up a bridge and don't regret it. Anyway, I ramble. Rather than think about stats and ranks first, think about what sort of story you want with your character. In my opinion, the most can be gotten from the "lower class". In my opinion, D ranks put the D in underdogs.


3. Finally something different. At the char committee, there is something very subtle and seemingly insignificant that some of us (like me) put a great amount of importance on wording. While sometimes it may seem nitpicky, there is a good reason we do pick out and ask certain phrases to be changed or clarified. We have pretty deep discussions on the matter. This goes back to what Welian mentioned about changing "realm" to "dimension", while it may seem a Petty difference to many. To us, we look into the implications of such things. This is a good example we can use. "The psychic realm", the term "the" insinuates it to be the definitive psychic realm. Which I don't like the wording, because the implications of the insinuation could lock potential future psychic users into a would be canon mechanic. By making a slight change, to "a psychic dimension" this takes away the implication, as now it offers freedom. Someone else who has an Astral projection super is now free to create as they please without stepping on toes. As well, this all ensures that their AP super won't be like your AP super. This ensures that even if powers may "seem" similar on the he surface, they could very well be quite different.


4. I like simple. This isn't so much of advice, as just a personal preference of mine you can use to win my vote in the committee. While there is nothing wrong with details, I appreciate seeing explanations as streamlined and easy to understand. It helps others too. I find this funny because @Gus is great at thinking up details. Perhaps it is for the best, as what we accept can end up having a good balance between detailed and streamlined.


5. There will be growth. By golly you grow like a teenage plant boy on a growth spurt and a miracle grow binge diet. There are ways of "growing" your power, like learning to it better, and is part of what is to be expected in a school like this for supers. But not in the way you are thinking of. Your rank won't change. It doesn't need to.it wouldn't matter if it did. Your power is your power. The gene in you won't change or evolve. Your powers are either on or off. What can grow is your control and competency of your power. And personal development of course. Your power is yours, and limited by your creativity, your Chars competence with it, and the limitations you set forth. As well as obvious things, obviously. Don't think of it as your power needs to grow, think of it as you need to grow. And that sort of growth you can take anywhere. 


6. Again. Less of advice, more of things we like to see. The char committee loves seeing limitations. The more you have the happier we will be. This section is what we look at the most, and generally become the most "nitpicky" over. This is because we have a lot of players and characters to keep in mind, and we want to nip problems in the bud. Fixing them before they could become a problem. As well as trying to keep balancing into account. Don't be shy, throw in the limitations and have fun with them!


Alright. I have been typing in this far longer than I have intended too. I didn't mean to turn it into a rant xD. 


But anyway, welcome again! And I am looking forward to reading over your CS again when I get the chance. Which I could have done in the span it took me to write this to be honest...

Thanks for the advice, @KingHink, I kinda wish I had gotten this post a bit sooner, it might have saved me a lot of hair pulling and nitpicking myself. I do feel like I'm being a bit misunderstood here, I'm not trying to equate ranks to badassery (which is a super power, actually, look it up, it's got Deadpool XD), I suppose I'm just worried that once I set my character in the RP, they have to stay within the front yard fence and never having the chance to push the boundaries of their capabilities, hence the growth concern. I'm not talking about leveling cities or destroying lives, just having the capability to expand the character's repertoire over time doesn't seem to be encouraged, so I'm trying to jam pack my characters with all the potential they can muster from the get go. That's also the reason for the stats being so high, I'd love to make her a lower-ranking character, but again I'm afraid of setting those limitations and then being forever entrapped by them with no room for expansion. 


Another point you hit on, I like simple too. That's part of the problem I'm having, balancing being detailed and covering all the bases with as few words as possible. It's a juggling act, on one hand I'm trying to make sure that it's clear the capabilities and limits that are present, on the other I don't want to write out a novella for every possibility that can happen, which (let's face it) reaches near-infinite numbers in this type of setting especially. (I also like to overload on the limitations, which I'm sure isn't necessarily a bad thing, but I tend to overthink them and lose sleep over "should this be a limitation or just a guideline or is it consequential at all?") 


So, I'm writing up yet another version of this character, this time (hopefully) more cohesive and fits better together. I'm wondering if I just put out the sheer basics of what I want to accomplish if maybe I can get some suggestions for limitations and uses? As I've said before, I like to cover all my bases and my characters have a tendency to be "jack-of-all-trades, master-of-most-of-them", which I'm trying to work out of, since that usually creates flat, featureless characters who are too perfect for their own good :/   I look at everyone else's character with a bit of jealousy at how easily they seem to put their characters together and I just have this jumbled mess of a concept that I'm feebly trying to cobble together piece by tiny piece. XD