The Suspicious Eye
Your Darling Devil
@Gus I'll make the changes ASAP!! Thanks so much for the critique. I was having some problems with the power so this really helps!!
Character Critique Thread
- Thread starter welian
- Start date
The Suspicious Eye
Your Darling Devil
And edited. I'm super excited to join you all and as always willing to edit anything else as needed.
Gus
Justice RIDES AGAIN!!!
Cool! I find my particular level of Dorky Physics Pedantry (DPPtm) is sometimes excessive for some people's taste. I like to think about consequences of powers as deeply as I reasonably can with out cracking into the heavy math. Glad it helped!
DamagedGlasses
Lurking Pun Ninja
@Gus They came from California, but have moved to other states. In particular, Maryland. Thanks for pointing that out, I'll definitely clarify.
As for MAINFRAME's improbable existence with how I have its backstory, I'll see what can finagle with, but I should make it clear that the creation of MAINFRAME wasn't due to all of them having the same become one person gene. It was due to their closeness, both physically and mentally, when they all awakened with psychic powers of a vague sort, since going into them seemed unnecessary. I'll put some effort into that and put critical thinking into the mix to make it all work. Thanks!
As for MAINFRAME's improbable existence with how I have its backstory, I'll see what can finagle with, but I should make it clear that the creation of MAINFRAME wasn't due to all of them having the same become one person gene. It was due to their closeness, both physically and mentally, when they all awakened with psychic powers of a vague sort, since going into them seemed unnecessary. I'll put some effort into that and put critical thinking into the mix to make it all work. Thanks!
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DamagedGlasses
Lurking Pun Ninja
Alright, MAINFRAME is definitely in Baltimore now, with a quick update! Gonna touch up on the power situation when I get the chance, but I have to work on some other stuff before hand.
However, one of the ideas I'm considering, is modifying the Bell's Finest Program into a lowkey super recruitment process under the guise of a simple elevation program that is actively looking for supers, and more importantly, psychic supers. The program is following the ideal that psychics show more apt for academics due to the nature of their abilities.
I'll also switch up the scandal that did the Bell's Finest Program in, and make it so that it also revealed the darker underside, something I'm sure the local AEGIS enforcement wouldn't exactly appreciate.
Or maybe it's AEGIS sponsored? And when the scandal happened the local AEGIS administration cut ties.
I don't know if that last one is following the current AEGIS ideals, but there's always that outlier rogue sect of an organization that does things sometimes off the records. Tell me if that isn't possible, because then I can very quickly pick which option I'd like to take.
However, one of the ideas I'm considering, is modifying the Bell's Finest Program into a lowkey super recruitment process under the guise of a simple elevation program that is actively looking for supers, and more importantly, psychic supers. The program is following the ideal that psychics show more apt for academics due to the nature of their abilities.
I'll also switch up the scandal that did the Bell's Finest Program in, and make it so that it also revealed the darker underside, something I'm sure the local AEGIS enforcement wouldn't exactly appreciate.
Or maybe it's AEGIS sponsored? And when the scandal happened the local AEGIS administration cut ties.
I don't know if that last one is following the current AEGIS ideals, but there's always that outlier rogue sect of an organization that does things sometimes off the records. Tell me if that isn't possible, because then I can very quickly pick which option I'd like to take.
Gus
Justice RIDES AGAIN!!!
DamagedGlasses
Lurking Pun Ninja
MAINFRAME's background was updated!
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Dusky
Succubus
YOOOOOOOOOOOO
I'm back and I made some minor tweaks to Hannah so here's the link, lemme know if you think it all checks out or not!
I'm back and I made some minor tweaks to Hannah so here's the link, lemme know if you think it all checks out or not!
Gus
Justice RIDES AGAIN!!!
Syrenrei
Connoisseur of Romance
I am open to changes but as I have no plans for a second character (I simply don't think I could keep up with it) I'd like to keep Gen on the more potent side.
I have her Defense at 5 and Willpower at 3 for her "Pain Tolerance, not Pain Immunity" subpower. She still feels pain but not as acutely as a normal individual; she has a higher pain threshold before she becomes completely incapacitated or immobile. I wasn't sure if this was Defense (because it's endurance) or Willpower (because it might also be determination)? Maybe it should be split more? I'm really not sure the best way to apply this in such a way that it makes the most amount of sense. Just to be clear, this was built up by taking a lot of hits/blows/wounds/injuries for many years.
Her history and power itself are sort of boring. I didn't want to go for anything tragic.... but if I need to spice it up somehow I will!
I have her Defense at 5 and Willpower at 3 for her "Pain Tolerance, not Pain Immunity" subpower. She still feels pain but not as acutely as a normal individual; she has a higher pain threshold before she becomes completely incapacitated or immobile. I wasn't sure if this was Defense (because it's endurance) or Willpower (because it might also be determination)? Maybe it should be split more? I'm really not sure the best way to apply this in such a way that it makes the most amount of sense. Just to be clear, this was built up by taking a lot of hits/blows/wounds/injuries for many years.
Her history and power itself are sort of boring. I didn't want to go for anything tragic.... but if I need to spice it up somehow I will!
Dusky
Succubus
I would call that almost exclusively Willpower; she's still taking the same amount of damage, yes? She just reacts to it differently.
Syrenrei
Connoisseur of Romance
Yes, the damage is the same, but her physical tolerance/endurance/stamina is affected. So a regular person usually crumples after they are shot (despite what the movies tell us). Just telling yourself, "I won't pass out!" is theoretically not possible as far as I know. Mental strength alone I don't know would actually physically alter your response to shock/trauma. That's why I stuck it in Defense, because I understood Defense not to necessarily be resistance or armor but also physical stamina and endurance. That's why I dumped everything in Defense, but now I'm thinking maybe it's an even split? Or am I wrong about what Defense is entirely?
Gus
Justice RIDES AGAIN!!!
Ok. I been tied up with prompts and now Dobby is a free elf at last.
Here are my thoughts. Will in real life will only get you so far, its true, but this is comic book/movie trope land. And also, in real life people do sometimes have vastly different responses to physical trauma. Two people fall through the ice, one comes home alive. And it isn't always the big strong tough guy either.
That said, you're not wrong about Defense. That is one way of looking at it. It represents the ability to take a hit and keep on going. Could be armor, could be preliminary bypass system with a whole redundant circulatory system, extra heart, whatever. (That could also go under health!) Will could also factor into that equation though.
We had a similar discussion about Hadrian (The J's character) He ultimately decided to go with the high defense, because his body would reroute around damage, like a borg cube. It wasn't regeneration, (though he does regenerate over longer time periods) it was just taking the wound and working around it. It seems like you are in a similar place to where he started. He ended up reducing Ajax to C rank, but it sounds like you are a more powerful version as written. The way he wrote up Ajax sounded more like super John McClain than deadpool. Which is where the willpower question comes in. If you can walk across broken glass barefoot, and it isn't that you don't take damage and it isn't that it doesn't hurt, but you just do what has to be done? That's will power. If you don't so much feel it, and your body works around it, that's defense. If pain is deadened but you are gushing blood, and still manage to stay on your feet? That's health.
Or so it seems to me. I am just a player, but I am also on the character committee, and I have been RPing in a wide variety of games for over thirty years. I think a lot about how to model reality in a game world, and while that totally makes me a dork, in this instance, I hope, I am a useful dork.
Now. All that said. I think the character looks fine. Stats look good, powers look good, history is interesting. (I like the crash test dummy bit.)
But. We were kicking around ideas and wondered what you might think about this variation on the classic regeneration thing. What if you were effectively immortal, unkillable by anything but decapitation and massive brain trauma. (and maybe not even decapitation if the brain could still be fed) BUT: you don't regenerate any faster than ordinary humans.
So now, you'd have to live with a lost limb or digit, unless a surgeon could reattach it. If you were gunshot, it would hurt like hell, but couldn't kill you. And because you heal at the normal rate, it would hurt like hell for months or years. And maybe never quite heal right. I thought of if because of her fear of living forever and watching friends die. And this plays into that, and would be an utterly unique power as far as I know. (Somewhat reminiscent of Highlander, but they had rapid regeneration.)
The only things that would probably have to change would be the crash test dummy thing (because you aren't going to hurt yourself if you can help it) and maybe you could be older. A lot older. Maybe even an old friend of Urial, our immortal dog doctor. (Not vet. Dog doctor.) Oh and maybe bump health up to 9...
This is not a requirement of entry. Just a suggestion. Let us know what you think!
Welcome to AEGIS, either way!
Here are my thoughts. Will in real life will only get you so far, its true, but this is comic book/movie trope land. And also, in real life people do sometimes have vastly different responses to physical trauma. Two people fall through the ice, one comes home alive. And it isn't always the big strong tough guy either.
That said, you're not wrong about Defense. That is one way of looking at it. It represents the ability to take a hit and keep on going. Could be armor, could be preliminary bypass system with a whole redundant circulatory system, extra heart, whatever. (That could also go under health!) Will could also factor into that equation though.
We had a similar discussion about Hadrian (The J's character) He ultimately decided to go with the high defense, because his body would reroute around damage, like a borg cube. It wasn't regeneration, (though he does regenerate over longer time periods) it was just taking the wound and working around it. It seems like you are in a similar place to where he started. He ended up reducing Ajax to C rank, but it sounds like you are a more powerful version as written. The way he wrote up Ajax sounded more like super John McClain than deadpool. Which is where the willpower question comes in. If you can walk across broken glass barefoot, and it isn't that you don't take damage and it isn't that it doesn't hurt, but you just do what has to be done? That's will power. If you don't so much feel it, and your body works around it, that's defense. If pain is deadened but you are gushing blood, and still manage to stay on your feet? That's health.
Or so it seems to me. I am just a player, but I am also on the character committee, and I have been RPing in a wide variety of games for over thirty years. I think a lot about how to model reality in a game world, and while that totally makes me a dork, in this instance, I hope, I am a useful dork.
Now. All that said. I think the character looks fine. Stats look good, powers look good, history is interesting. (I like the crash test dummy bit.)
But. We were kicking around ideas and wondered what you might think about this variation on the classic regeneration thing. What if you were effectively immortal, unkillable by anything but decapitation and massive brain trauma. (and maybe not even decapitation if the brain could still be fed) BUT: you don't regenerate any faster than ordinary humans.
So now, you'd have to live with a lost limb or digit, unless a surgeon could reattach it. If you were gunshot, it would hurt like hell, but couldn't kill you. And because you heal at the normal rate, it would hurt like hell for months or years. And maybe never quite heal right. I thought of if because of her fear of living forever and watching friends die. And this plays into that, and would be an utterly unique power as far as I know. (Somewhat reminiscent of Highlander, but they had rapid regeneration.)
The only things that would probably have to change would be the crash test dummy thing (because you aren't going to hurt yourself if you can help it) and maybe you could be older. A lot older. Maybe even an old friend of Urial, our immortal dog doctor. (Not vet. Dog doctor.) Oh and maybe bump health up to 9...
This is not a requirement of entry. Just a suggestion. Let us know what you think!
Welcome to AEGIS, either way!
Gus
Justice RIDES AGAIN!!!
Related thought: if you WERE decapitated, you could become the world's first viable head transplant.
Or would it be a body transplant at that point?
Or would it be a body transplant at that point?
Syrenrei
Connoisseur of Romance
@Gus - My concern about that is I like regeneration overall better than immortality as a power. I would also worry that if I made her less kill-able and took away regeneration it would require a hard re-work. Not only would she not pursue safety training necessarily, but becoming a Blue Card holder wouldn't be as enchanting. As she is, she is the sort of person that doesn't take aggressive actions but dives in the way of offensive attacks to take the hit/blast/wound herself and 'save' someone else from the pain and healing. If she didn't have that and wanted to be a Blue Card holder she'd have to be exceptional in some other way than "hard to kill" because now she's not only getting injured, she'll be out of commission for a long time or in constant pain for a long time while she heals (if she can fully).
I think it's an interesting idea, but then Gen would look incredibly different and in essence be a different character. How would she cope with having an arm reattached and spending months or years hoping maybe it will go back to normal? What if her foot is mangled and she's effectively crippled for months in-game because she threw herself in the line of fire without a way of effectively mitigating the damage? Would she turn to drugs? Would she abandon her morality to avoid the pain that injuries could bring to an endless life? I think these are two incredibly likely scenarios that would need to be considered. It's one thing to push through incredible pain for a few hours, a few days, etc. It's another to risk having it the rest of a several-hundred-year life.
If I had to scrap something in the profile, I'd probably ditch the longevity before regeneration honestly. I feel like longevity without a whole lot of boons makes for a pretty tragic character which is neither something I like to write nor something I'm good at (ironically it's my best friend's forte). It just seemed to me someone who regenerates wounds would probably regenerate cells to keep them youthful as well. This would seriously impact not just her family and friends, but any ambitions of having a family as well. That is why longevity and the difficulty dying is there; because regeneration was the starting point instead of the other way around.
Basically... think of Wolverine or Deadpool without any of the melee abilities or aptitudes. They just take hits for other people really, really well. They are a pro at getting hurt for the "greater good" and are expected to do it and feel compelled to do it, despite their wish that neither such impetus existed.
If someone wanted to do that more tragic/mangled version of the powers where they couldn't really die but didn't heal quickly/regenerate, I'll be their number one fan. But I don't think I'd have fun with it. =/ Sorry.
I'm gonna swap the Defense and Willpower stats, I think, after reading your explanation as well, Gus.
I think it's an interesting idea, but then Gen would look incredibly different and in essence be a different character. How would she cope with having an arm reattached and spending months or years hoping maybe it will go back to normal? What if her foot is mangled and she's effectively crippled for months in-game because she threw herself in the line of fire without a way of effectively mitigating the damage? Would she turn to drugs? Would she abandon her morality to avoid the pain that injuries could bring to an endless life? I think these are two incredibly likely scenarios that would need to be considered. It's one thing to push through incredible pain for a few hours, a few days, etc. It's another to risk having it the rest of a several-hundred-year life.
If I had to scrap something in the profile, I'd probably ditch the longevity before regeneration honestly. I feel like longevity without a whole lot of boons makes for a pretty tragic character which is neither something I like to write nor something I'm good at (ironically it's my best friend's forte). It just seemed to me someone who regenerates wounds would probably regenerate cells to keep them youthful as well. This would seriously impact not just her family and friends, but any ambitions of having a family as well. That is why longevity and the difficulty dying is there; because regeneration was the starting point instead of the other way around.
Basically... think of Wolverine or Deadpool without any of the melee abilities or aptitudes. They just take hits for other people really, really well. They are a pro at getting hurt for the "greater good" and are expected to do it and feel compelled to do it, despite their wish that neither such impetus existed.
If someone wanted to do that more tragic/mangled version of the powers where they couldn't really die but didn't heal quickly/regenerate, I'll be their number one fan. But I don't think I'd have fun with it. =/ Sorry.
I'm gonna swap the Defense and Willpower stats, I think, after reading your explanation as well, Gus.
Gus
Justice RIDES AGAIN!!!
And that is the key point. You should play a character that suits you and pleases you.
She has my vote already, as I said.
Gus
Justice RIDES AGAIN!!!
So this is my next hero, I think. An old associate of Aaron Mallory. She popped up in the christmas prompts, and she had a very strong voice, so now I want to bring her in. She is a little odd. In particular I wanted to check if the multiform idea makes sense. Help me out here folks. Give me some editorial notes. What works, what doesn't?
Gus
Justice RIDES AGAIN!!!
And this, is my first villain. He was supposed to be my third hero. A second teacher character. But he didn't fit. He needed too much plot armor for any hero.
Also, in retrospect, solipsism is a poor philosophy for heroes.
But as a villain… As a villain he is so crazy he just might work. A lone wolf. A plotter. A deceiver. A heartless, remorseless manipulator.
Who is charming and funny and loves a good prank. (And doesn't mind if the prank kills you.)
He has been through the ringer though, and this is my sixth draft, at least. Also I am tired and a little tipsy. So let me know if there is anything that does not make sense.
Also, in retrospect, solipsism is a poor philosophy for heroes.
But as a villain… As a villain he is so crazy he just might work. A lone wolf. A plotter. A deceiver. A heartless, remorseless manipulator.
Who is charming and funny and loves a good prank. (And doesn't mind if the prank kills you.)
He has been through the ringer though, and this is my sixth draft, at least. Also I am tired and a little tipsy. So let me know if there is anything that does not make sense.
Teh Frixz
That lady robot
Ya know gussy, usually I'd complain and demand multiple posts from your existing characters before introducing new ones.
But dammit, you post so regularly and actively that I'm AMICABLE to your ideas and will give your sheets a full once over
and no it's not 4am and no I'm not drinking in prep for New Years.
But dammit, you post so regularly and actively that I'm AMICABLE to your ideas and will give your sheets a full once over
and no it's not 4am and no I'm not drinking in prep for New Years.
Gus
Justice RIDES AGAIN!!!
Take care of yourself. Sleep is good. I am only up because of sore throat. I am in no rush to get these two into the game. Next year would be fine. ;-)
Gus
Justice RIDES AGAIN!!!
Not for critique. He handles criticism… poorly. I meant to put Dr D up along with Roger in order to give people some idea what they are dealing with.
By now the people in question already have an inkling. Better late than never though, right?
By now the people in question already have an inkling. Better late than never though, right?
Aldur
Memory Dealer
Gimme gimme
Gus
Justice RIDES AGAIN!!!
So I have posted 6 times with Manami… Only three so far with Lucas 2.0 but more on the way soon… Any thoughts on on Kate yet?
Gus
Justice RIDES AGAIN!!!
…it Is next year, after all. ;-)