Uncle ShortyB
Oh noooooooooo
The backwoods of Florida can be kind of an odd place. Deep in the woods there’re things like abandoned churches, old hunting lodges, long-forgotten necromantic ritual circles, or maybe a car that looks way too new to have any sort of overgrowth on it despite there being a fully-grown tree in the middle of the cabin. It isn't just like this stuff is limited to the woods, either. There’s quite a bit of bizarre, abandoned places scattered around the biggest cities in Florida with their own creepy tales to tell. Unfortunately, you’re not here for sightseeing. There’s a job to do, and you’re one of the only ones who can do it.
This world is full of monsters, both real and imagined. The latter can’t be dealt with unless you go on in to therapy or start drinking, but once that’s over and done with you’re good to go. The former is where things start to get a little messy. The average person couldn't go toe-to-toe with a homunculus, let alone a thorn golem or something much worse. Unfortunately, you never have to deal with something that doesn't land in the “much worse” category. That’s when the normal people call the Exterminators to come in and take care of that owl-bear stuck in their shed, or get rid of the ghost that’s been screaming for three days.
Exterminators aren't like the dudes who come in and lay down those little ant traps. Sure, they both fulfill similar purposes and have the same job title, but the one with the bag of rat poison would shit his pants if he ran into the sort of thing you called the capital “E” Exterminators for. Besides, there aren't many pest control operators wandering around in armored vans full of machine guns and grenades. It's not exactly an equivalent problem, but that doesn't stop most of the freelance hunters from calling Exterminators knockoff Orkin men.
You’re one of the capital E variety, and you've been called on to do what you do best, which is to kill monsters. It’s not a pretty job, or a safe one, but it pays the bills and it ain't diggin’ ditches, so might as well get your guns and lock the door behind you. You won't be home for a while, it looks like.
This world is full of monsters, both real and imagined. The latter can’t be dealt with unless you go on in to therapy or start drinking, but once that’s over and done with you’re good to go. The former is where things start to get a little messy. The average person couldn't go toe-to-toe with a homunculus, let alone a thorn golem or something much worse. Unfortunately, you never have to deal with something that doesn't land in the “much worse” category. That’s when the normal people call the Exterminators to come in and take care of that owl-bear stuck in their shed, or get rid of the ghost that’s been screaming for three days.
Exterminators aren't like the dudes who come in and lay down those little ant traps. Sure, they both fulfill similar purposes and have the same job title, but the one with the bag of rat poison would shit his pants if he ran into the sort of thing you called the capital “E” Exterminators for. Besides, there aren't many pest control operators wandering around in armored vans full of machine guns and grenades. It's not exactly an equivalent problem, but that doesn't stop most of the freelance hunters from calling Exterminators knockoff Orkin men.
You’re one of the capital E variety, and you've been called on to do what you do best, which is to kill monsters. It’s not a pretty job, or a safe one, but it pays the bills and it ain't diggin’ ditches, so might as well get your guns and lock the door behind you. You won't be home for a while, it looks like.
