Other Anyone listening?

[Danni_js]

I'm feeling really confused in my life right now. I'm quite lonely because I don't fit into this world we live in. I'm surrounded by my roommates who constantly smoke weed, go on tinder, sit on their phones and tell me to be like them. But I'm not like that. I'm a dreamer and I'm constantly living in fantasises. I used to think I was such a strange human for roleplaying and I thought it was for the most part, outcasts. I used to be (and still am sometimes) quite shallow. I like to think I'm quite a good looking girl and I certainly used to think online wasn't made for that type of person (in terms of social standards). I had a couple of instances where I liked the person I was chatting with online, so so much but when I saw pictures and I was truly not attracted to them and felt sickened to my stomach that I had opened up to someone and talked about everything with them. I love role-playing, it's an escape from reality but it causes me to hate reality. I can't find any boy who has the qualities I fantasise about, anywhere. The characters I role-play are exactly what I want in life and they are no where in real life. I'm really starting to give up because I just can't figure this out.


This is draining and I feel so sad, all the time. Sometimes I don't want to get out of bed all day, I'd rather write or role-play all day. But that's not living. That won't earn me money or help me find a future husband, allow me to have future kids. I am SO stuck.

This is a random brain dump, but if anyone understands. Reach out to me?

 

[Idek9000]

I'd reach out but, I'm too new to PM. Just know that someone understands even just a little.

 

[Idea]

There is a lot to say after what I just read, but I believe Bo Burnham put it better than I ever could, so don't let the fact that it's comedy distract you from the heartfelt message:




Just in case you missed it, here's the tldr: Life made you no promises. You're expecting too much and treating people you clearly got to trust like they betrayed you for not being good-looking, because they couldn't live up to a fantasy. I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but in this case I'd say the problem is really that you're making up unrealistic expectations, and that not setting yourself straight is going to hold you back a lot, now and throughout life. If you want to make things better, you gotta accept that the real bar is much lower than what your imagination can make.

 

[calypso]

Yeah, Bo Burnham put it rather nicely. You're never going to get that 'dream' person in life that you fantasize about. They don't exist, because they're catered to your every ideal whim. That's what makes RP so much fun. It's an outlet to express what you want, while interacting with someone who could be 'perfect.' When you finally meet the person who's truly 'perfect' for you, you'll know it. However, you're setting yourself up for failure at the moment. I'll try to phrase this in the nicest way possible, but it may seem blunt.

It's great to have individuality. Being like everyone else in society isn't ideal, because everyone is unique in the end. People have similar hobbies, similar aspirations, and similar flaws. If you set yourself up with the mindset of being 'different' than everyone else from the get-go, you're going to see isolation. In the reality, we're all the same in different ways. You are no more 'unique' than anyone else, because everyone has a unique quality about themselves. You already said you liked someone so much, but you removed yourself willingly from that relationship because of physical appearances. It is shallow. At the moment, it's arguable to say you don't deserve that 'love' you so crave. Not until you learn to appreciate others around you for who they are. Not physical looks, not because they may smoke weed or enjoy a good round of looking about tinder, but because of their personality.

Harsh, but it's really the truth in the end. Don't put yourself up on a pedestal, it's wrong. No one is above or below anyone else in the most standard levels. Just appreciate what you have, and enjoy those fantasies as what they are. Fantasies.

 

[Idek9000]

Remember what I said friend. I respectfully disagree with the statement above friend. You DO deserve love. Maybe you SHOULDNT have had expectations about that stranger. But I don't think its correct to say that you don't deserve love for liking the kind of people who you like and having standards. You deserve love and I would even go so far as to say you indeed deserve someone who looks pretty.

 

[PinkieBun]

Hang in there, hun. Youll meet the guy for you with time. As John Lennon once said:

"You may say im a dreamer but im not the only one".

 

[PandorasBox101]

I'm going to agree with two of the above comments and say this; standards.
It is good to have standards, but there is such a thing as standards that are way to high. For example, I would like to get into a relationship with someone who loves me for me and respects and is there for me when they can be, as I should be for them. Now, I do have a few standards, for example I would like someone who shares my want to raise kids. While it would be nice to find someone with the physical attributes I am attracted to, it's likely I won't. What really matters is someone that will love you no matter what, even if they don't share the same interests as you.