Gaius Danius Griinia
Apparently Infamous
Why Everything Is Dads Fault by Lucifer
In the Beginning... there was nothing. It was dark and sucky and void of anything remotely interesting. My Father, God appeared from the primordial nothingness in all his bullheaded glory. At first, he sat on his ass all day, waiting for something to happen. Eventually, Dad got bored and decided to create entertainment. First he created a little place called "Heaven", you've probably heard of it. A cloudy landscape full of bright lights and sanctimonious losers. The WiFi was also terrible. As soon as Dad saw that he could make things like any four year old with Lego, he went NUTS. He made stars and planets, he even made suns because heaters hadn't been invented yet and he was COLD. On his planets he made oceans that spanned for large percentages of the planet. The rest he filled out with landmasses that provided stability. Though that created a problem, who was he making it stable for? Who would be able to appreciate his work? The answer? Dad decided to try making LIVING CREATURES. So with a snap of his fingers, he made my annoyance of an older sibling, Michael. Let me tell you about that Michael, she was Dads loyal little puppy dog. If Dad wanted Michael to tell him that his newest creation was the best, Michael would tell him it was even better than that. I swear, she lacks a mind of her own. Anyway, having made Michael as the prototype for living creatures. Dad made the rest of us, his Angels". I was born after that. The oldest four, Michael, Myself, Gabriel and Raphael were designated the "Archangels". I wanted to go for "Team Satisfaction". However Dad and Michael threw a fit when I told them that I didn't like their name.
Dad didn't stay angry at me for long though. If you ask any Angel, they'd tell you it was because I was his favorite child. I prefer to see it as Dad not wanting the only Archangel who wasn't a moron like Michael, a pushover like Gabriel or an edgelord like Raphael to leave. Dad's next big project was Hell. It was a land of death, fire and brimstone. I thought it could use a bit of work to make it a bit more habitable. Dad threatened to smite me for not calling his beloved hellhole a masterpiece. Now many of you believe that I was the one who created Demonkind. Dad was the one who did that. He was chatting with his gardener Joshua, who told him that Hell should have its own lifeforms. Dad snapped his fingers and that's where the Princes of Hell came from. They were similar in nature to Archangels, however there were more of them and they liked to destroy things. Michael thought that they were abominations that couldn't compete with the majesty of Angels. Gabriel kept her mouth shut and looked at her feet. Raphael just said that they weren't "All that". Personally, I liked the Demons. I felt they could be taught to be far better than the Angels. I'd regularly pop down to Hell to have a chat with the Princes of Hell. I showed the Princes how to make more of themselves by using their own blood. It was pretty cool watching new kinds of Demons pop up from the scorching-hot ground.
Now I know what you might be asking. "Mr Lucifer? Why aren't you an Archangel anymore? Why are you The Devil?". Well, Little Timmy, I shall tell you. As you, your parents and everyone might already know. Dad's favorite creation was Humanity. Dad had called us in to look at his new creation. It was Adam, the First Man. I saw this small, ignorant little ape and I was confused as to what I was looking at. Dad called it his greatest creation and demanded that we all bow before Adam. As my brothers and sisters got on their knees for this dirty beastie, I remained standing. "Dad... this Human, I think you called it. Its primal, raw... I don't see how this is the greatest thing you've ever made. It is literally walking around smelling of fecal matter. All it does is eat and sleep, I can't see its purpose" I said as I stared at the First Man. Michael hissed at me to obey our Father and kneel. I refused and recommended that we teach this Human to do something useful like build tools or hunt. That was when Dad blew his top at me. He scorched my angelic wings and ordered Michael to throw me into the coldest pits of Hell. Now my siblings and I may have had our differences, but we were siblings. I expected Michael to placate Dad, for Gabriel to calm everyone down like she always did. I at least expected Raphael and that sharp tongue of his to call out how stupid this was. However no one came to my aid. My people had abandoned me, every single one of them. Michael grabbed me and tossed me into Hell with all the affection of a prison warden.
I woke up in Hell, chained to massive blocks of ice. My bonds were forged with Dads love, which cut me off from whatever power I still had after my wings were stolen and my grace mostly siphoned. As I lay in that pit for years on end, I will admit I did get a bit angry at dear old Dad. All I wanted to do was destroy him and tear the wings from my brethren one by one. That was where the Princes of Hell found me. As I had helped them out in their infancy, they decided to use their power to free me. They nursed me back to a healthier state and listened to my story. The Princes were astounded that I was locked up simply because I asked questions. Demons found that they never knew anything unless they questioned it. They pledged themselves to helping my campaign against Dad. I politely informed them that going against God and winning was a pipe-dream. We stood even less of a chance of successfully rebelling against him because I was greatly weakened. To this end, the Princes began feeding me their blood. They had discovered that demonic blood carried powerful magical properties. They had never fed it to an Angel before, however they had fed it to other Demons. These Demons had either gotten sick and died, or they gained new powers. Luckily, I gained new powers. After drinking enough blood, my wings returned. Although now they were black and dotted with fire and smoke. I became even stronger than I was before I was cast from Heaven. I declared Demonkind my brethren and the Angels our enemies. The Demons rallied behind me and named me King of Hell.
As King of Hell, I decided to strike at what Dad loved most. Leaving Hell, I flew through the universe in search of Dads new world. Coming across Raziel, the Angel of Secrets and Keeper of Heaven's Vault, I decided to meet with her. Disguising myself as a simple cherub, I inquired as to the location of Dad's newest project. Raziel remained tight lipped, although I managed to charm her into revealing the general location. Once there, I gazed upon the planet known as Earth. It was seventy percent water with lush forests, deep canyons, scorching deserts and tall mountains. Descending to the ground, I can honestly say that I was impressed by the craftsmanship. It was a paradise that one couldn't help but admire. However, I was on a mission. So I continued onward towards my target, the Garden of Eden. At this point, Michael had taught Adam to produce a female of his kind using one of his ribs. Her name was Eve and she almost made me reconsider my plans. However, I saw her and Adam roll around in filth and remembered why I was here. Seeing a slithering green serpent, an idea came to me. I eavesdropped on the two in the form of a snake and overheard them talk about a special tree. Apparently this Garden was Dads gift to his new toys. They could enjoy everything in here except for the fruit of a tree in the center of Eden. I inwardly raged, this was Classic Dad. "You can enjoy everything except for what I don't want you to" Was just his default setting. I decided that now was time for a little enlightenment. Contrary to what it may seem like, I do like Humans. I just thought that the original product was a bit unfinished. It was like Dad wanted me to buy all the DLC for mankind instead of giving me the package deal.
I appeared to Eve in the form of a snake and told her that she should eat the fruit. "God said I wasn't supposed to touch this tree... it was literally his only rule" Eve seemed like she wanted to remain faithful to God. "God makes rules like that because he loves taking away people's ability to CHOOSE what they want to do" I said in my snakey voice. "Well.... I have always wanted to try them... the fruit looks amazing" Eve said uneasily. Now here is where Dad and Michael's stories say I seduced her with my silver tongue, claiming that I was simply a snake who gained intelligence from the fruit. That is a dumb lie and I'm pretty sure Eve wouldn't have believed that. She was the one who kept Adam in line, she was too smart for that. "YOU should be the one to decide your fate. Not some God who creates you then expects you to live by his rules" I said bitterly. Yes I was being a bit venomous. In my defense, it was probably worse for her and Adam, they were JUST Human. Eve relented and picked a fruit from the tree. I urged her to eat it and take her life into her own hands. She took the fruit back to Adam and they feasted on it. In the morning, they gained knowledge of life, death, pain, suffering and hardship. Michael came down and attempted to smite them for defying Dad. I repelled her, informing her that I had given Humans the ability to "Outgrow the need for a God". Michael called me a Devil for going against our Father twice. As she flew back to Heaven, I told Dad that one day he would have no power over anyone. I returned to Hell and sat on its throne, ready to battle the army of Heaven whenever they came knocking.
The Event by Metatron
The Event is the phenomena that occurred on December 31st 2017 in Amara City. It has been speculated to have been the result of God either dying or leaving this universe. It caused many prominent figures in Heaven and Hell to either descend or ascend to Earth and merge with members of the populace. Amara City is a hotbed of supernatural incidents. Vampire Turfwars, Werewolf Protests and even the kidnappings by the Fae. The Archangels found it harder to adjust to mortal life because of their experiences with Humans being less prominent compared to the Princes of Hell. Nowadays, both groups just find ways to get by, clashing whenever they find issue with each other. Lucifer himself has split from the Demons and formed a third faction dedicated to preventing the two groups from "Screwing Everything Up". Though he claims he just wanted to do his own thing. To this day, why The Event happened is still up for debate. All we know is that we know NOTHING...
In the Beginning... there was nothing. It was dark and sucky and void of anything remotely interesting. My Father, God appeared from the primordial nothingness in all his bullheaded glory. At first, he sat on his ass all day, waiting for something to happen. Eventually, Dad got bored and decided to create entertainment. First he created a little place called "Heaven", you've probably heard of it. A cloudy landscape full of bright lights and sanctimonious losers. The WiFi was also terrible. As soon as Dad saw that he could make things like any four year old with Lego, he went NUTS. He made stars and planets, he even made suns because heaters hadn't been invented yet and he was COLD. On his planets he made oceans that spanned for large percentages of the planet. The rest he filled out with landmasses that provided stability. Though that created a problem, who was he making it stable for? Who would be able to appreciate his work? The answer? Dad decided to try making LIVING CREATURES. So with a snap of his fingers, he made my annoyance of an older sibling, Michael. Let me tell you about that Michael, she was Dads loyal little puppy dog. If Dad wanted Michael to tell him that his newest creation was the best, Michael would tell him it was even better than that. I swear, she lacks a mind of her own. Anyway, having made Michael as the prototype for living creatures. Dad made the rest of us, his Angels". I was born after that. The oldest four, Michael, Myself, Gabriel and Raphael were designated the "Archangels". I wanted to go for "Team Satisfaction". However Dad and Michael threw a fit when I told them that I didn't like their name.
Dad didn't stay angry at me for long though. If you ask any Angel, they'd tell you it was because I was his favorite child. I prefer to see it as Dad not wanting the only Archangel who wasn't a moron like Michael, a pushover like Gabriel or an edgelord like Raphael to leave. Dad's next big project was Hell. It was a land of death, fire and brimstone. I thought it could use a bit of work to make it a bit more habitable. Dad threatened to smite me for not calling his beloved hellhole a masterpiece. Now many of you believe that I was the one who created Demonkind. Dad was the one who did that. He was chatting with his gardener Joshua, who told him that Hell should have its own lifeforms. Dad snapped his fingers and that's where the Princes of Hell came from. They were similar in nature to Archangels, however there were more of them and they liked to destroy things. Michael thought that they were abominations that couldn't compete with the majesty of Angels. Gabriel kept her mouth shut and looked at her feet. Raphael just said that they weren't "All that". Personally, I liked the Demons. I felt they could be taught to be far better than the Angels. I'd regularly pop down to Hell to have a chat with the Princes of Hell. I showed the Princes how to make more of themselves by using their own blood. It was pretty cool watching new kinds of Demons pop up from the scorching-hot ground.
Now I know what you might be asking. "Mr Lucifer? Why aren't you an Archangel anymore? Why are you The Devil?". Well, Little Timmy, I shall tell you. As you, your parents and everyone might already know. Dad's favorite creation was Humanity. Dad had called us in to look at his new creation. It was Adam, the First Man. I saw this small, ignorant little ape and I was confused as to what I was looking at. Dad called it his greatest creation and demanded that we all bow before Adam. As my brothers and sisters got on their knees for this dirty beastie, I remained standing. "Dad... this Human, I think you called it. Its primal, raw... I don't see how this is the greatest thing you've ever made. It is literally walking around smelling of fecal matter. All it does is eat and sleep, I can't see its purpose" I said as I stared at the First Man. Michael hissed at me to obey our Father and kneel. I refused and recommended that we teach this Human to do something useful like build tools or hunt. That was when Dad blew his top at me. He scorched my angelic wings and ordered Michael to throw me into the coldest pits of Hell. Now my siblings and I may have had our differences, but we were siblings. I expected Michael to placate Dad, for Gabriel to calm everyone down like she always did. I at least expected Raphael and that sharp tongue of his to call out how stupid this was. However no one came to my aid. My people had abandoned me, every single one of them. Michael grabbed me and tossed me into Hell with all the affection of a prison warden.
I woke up in Hell, chained to massive blocks of ice. My bonds were forged with Dads love, which cut me off from whatever power I still had after my wings were stolen and my grace mostly siphoned. As I lay in that pit for years on end, I will admit I did get a bit angry at dear old Dad. All I wanted to do was destroy him and tear the wings from my brethren one by one. That was where the Princes of Hell found me. As I had helped them out in their infancy, they decided to use their power to free me. They nursed me back to a healthier state and listened to my story. The Princes were astounded that I was locked up simply because I asked questions. Demons found that they never knew anything unless they questioned it. They pledged themselves to helping my campaign against Dad. I politely informed them that going against God and winning was a pipe-dream. We stood even less of a chance of successfully rebelling against him because I was greatly weakened. To this end, the Princes began feeding me their blood. They had discovered that demonic blood carried powerful magical properties. They had never fed it to an Angel before, however they had fed it to other Demons. These Demons had either gotten sick and died, or they gained new powers. Luckily, I gained new powers. After drinking enough blood, my wings returned. Although now they were black and dotted with fire and smoke. I became even stronger than I was before I was cast from Heaven. I declared Demonkind my brethren and the Angels our enemies. The Demons rallied behind me and named me King of Hell.
As King of Hell, I decided to strike at what Dad loved most. Leaving Hell, I flew through the universe in search of Dads new world. Coming across Raziel, the Angel of Secrets and Keeper of Heaven's Vault, I decided to meet with her. Disguising myself as a simple cherub, I inquired as to the location of Dad's newest project. Raziel remained tight lipped, although I managed to charm her into revealing the general location. Once there, I gazed upon the planet known as Earth. It was seventy percent water with lush forests, deep canyons, scorching deserts and tall mountains. Descending to the ground, I can honestly say that I was impressed by the craftsmanship. It was a paradise that one couldn't help but admire. However, I was on a mission. So I continued onward towards my target, the Garden of Eden. At this point, Michael had taught Adam to produce a female of his kind using one of his ribs. Her name was Eve and she almost made me reconsider my plans. However, I saw her and Adam roll around in filth and remembered why I was here. Seeing a slithering green serpent, an idea came to me. I eavesdropped on the two in the form of a snake and overheard them talk about a special tree. Apparently this Garden was Dads gift to his new toys. They could enjoy everything in here except for the fruit of a tree in the center of Eden. I inwardly raged, this was Classic Dad. "You can enjoy everything except for what I don't want you to" Was just his default setting. I decided that now was time for a little enlightenment. Contrary to what it may seem like, I do like Humans. I just thought that the original product was a bit unfinished. It was like Dad wanted me to buy all the DLC for mankind instead of giving me the package deal.
I appeared to Eve in the form of a snake and told her that she should eat the fruit. "God said I wasn't supposed to touch this tree... it was literally his only rule" Eve seemed like she wanted to remain faithful to God. "God makes rules like that because he loves taking away people's ability to CHOOSE what they want to do" I said in my snakey voice. "Well.... I have always wanted to try them... the fruit looks amazing" Eve said uneasily. Now here is where Dad and Michael's stories say I seduced her with my silver tongue, claiming that I was simply a snake who gained intelligence from the fruit. That is a dumb lie and I'm pretty sure Eve wouldn't have believed that. She was the one who kept Adam in line, she was too smart for that. "YOU should be the one to decide your fate. Not some God who creates you then expects you to live by his rules" I said bitterly. Yes I was being a bit venomous. In my defense, it was probably worse for her and Adam, they were JUST Human. Eve relented and picked a fruit from the tree. I urged her to eat it and take her life into her own hands. She took the fruit back to Adam and they feasted on it. In the morning, they gained knowledge of life, death, pain, suffering and hardship. Michael came down and attempted to smite them for defying Dad. I repelled her, informing her that I had given Humans the ability to "Outgrow the need for a God". Michael called me a Devil for going against our Father twice. As she flew back to Heaven, I told Dad that one day he would have no power over anyone. I returned to Hell and sat on its throne, ready to battle the army of Heaven whenever they came knocking.
The Event by Metatron
The Event is the phenomena that occurred on December 31st 2017 in Amara City. It has been speculated to have been the result of God either dying or leaving this universe. It caused many prominent figures in Heaven and Hell to either descend or ascend to Earth and merge with members of the populace. Amara City is a hotbed of supernatural incidents. Vampire Turfwars, Werewolf Protests and even the kidnappings by the Fae. The Archangels found it harder to adjust to mortal life because of their experiences with Humans being less prominent compared to the Princes of Hell. Nowadays, both groups just find ways to get by, clashing whenever they find issue with each other. Lucifer himself has split from the Demons and formed a third faction dedicated to preventing the two groups from "Screwing Everything Up". Though he claims he just wanted to do his own thing. To this day, why The Event happened is still up for debate. All we know is that we know NOTHING...
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