Redfloofy
BLACKJACK!
As the title suggests, this is a poem I wrote about my first relationship, and it's quite the emotional rollercoaster. Feel free to let me know what you think!
I first met you in late August, when we were seventeen,
We started talking, and you wanted to know more about me,
I told you all about my family, and what I liked to do,
And the way that you listened made me wanna know you.
Right away, you made me feel safe,
There was nothing that I was afraid to say,
You made me feel special,
Like what I said mattered,
I didn't know then, that my heart would end up shattered.
But I'm getting ahead of myself,
So I'll go back to the way I felt, at the start,
Before I ever thought that I would give you my heart.
I still remember,
In early September,
The moment I realized,
That I couldn't get you off my mind,
I was away for the weekend,
And I caught myself wishing,
That I could text you or call you,
To tell you that the beds were uncomfortable,
But the food was pretty good,
And how I would have brought you with me if only I could,
Maybe I'd tell you I missed you, if I wasn't too scared to.
When I got home, you asked how it went,
I decided to be bold and let myself admit,
That I missed you,
And I wished you would've been there too.
A couple weeks went by,
You joked about bringing me chai,
At least I thought that's all it was,
Until you actually brought me one,
That was the day,
That I accepted that I liked you,
I asked for your number, and I finally got to text you.
And then you asked me out for the very first time,
I wouldn't let myself believe that I was really on your mind,
I convinced myself that it was nothing more than just you being nice.
On the outside I looked fine, but truthfully I was a nervous wreck,
I didn't wanna look stupid in front of your friends,
Or you,
Cause at this point I knew,
That I was falling hard, and you still had no clue.
When you wanted to talk, you would gently touch my shoulder,
And every time you did it, I wished I could move closer,
And as we were walking out, I felt you looking at me,
And I started to believe,
That we were a possibility.
We hung out two more times before September's end,
And I finally found the courage to hold your hand,
You said you liked it,
And that you wouldn't mind if,
I decided to do it again.
You came to dinner with my family,
I still remember everything,
The way you switched from holding my hand to holding me,
And when I asked about it later, you told me you wished you could go back and relive it,
And I said that I did too,
I wanted to say I couldn't stop thinking about you,
But I didn't wanna scare you,
So I kept quiet,
And waited for the right time to say it.
And then the next week you took me out for my birthday,
I couldn't wait for the arrival of Thursday,
We went to our favorite place,
You must've seen my feelings written all over my face,
Cause when I told you, you weren't surprised,
You said you felt the same way, while you held me for the second time,
I was so happy I could cry,
Cause after searching for years, I felt like I had found the right guy.
A month later, you asked for permission to date me,
And I still think about how happy you made me,
When you took me out for dinner,
Or a walk in the park,
Or even just when you'd hold me close in your car,
We had our first kiss, it was weird but amazing,
Then shortly after that, you started calling me baby,
And I felt so lucky to be your girl,
And to know that it would always be, you and me against the world.
But as time went by, you started pulling away,
At first I thought nothing of it, I didn't ask you to explain,
But then I realized,
That you weren't giving me your time,
Like you used to,
That's when I knew,
That something was changing,
And not for the better,
And that maybe you and I weren't meant to last forever,
I told you my concerns,
But you said we'd be fine,
You said that you were just busy, and that soon you'd have more time.
You used to promise that we'd never fight,
But then it started happening, almost every other night,
You said a lot of things that were less than nice,
But then you'd apologize,
And everything would be all right,
I believed we would get through it, and I thought that we had,
I thought that it was my fault, but you said I shouldn't feel bad,
Cause you and I were destined for forever,
And we were gonna grow and change together.
I felt fine until the night you got the call from your friends,
And I begged you not to go, but you still left,
And I cried for hours,
Cause I was so scared that you were gonna say that we needed to come to an end.
You said that you weren't sorry,
Cause you had a good time,
I tried to tell you that it hurt, but it didn't change your mind,
So I gave up,
And told myself things would get better,
If I just gave it time, we could fix this together.
And I started to notice, that when you got angry,
You'd say things you didn't mean just cause you wanted to hurt me,
I tried to be patient,
But I hated the way,
That you made me feel guilty,
After saying that the problem wasn't me,
I started to realize that you never kept the promises you made,
I don't know when that changed,
But at some point it had,
And the fact that it did makes me sad.
I asked why you were trying to pull away,
And you said that you thought we just needed some space,
Cause we were too dependent, and when I heard that, I felt my heart break,
I couldn't find the words to say,
To tell you I was hurting,
Cause you made me feel unworthy,
Of your time, and of your love,
I tried to be understanding, even though I believed that you weren't giving me enough,
The more I thought about the ways that you had changed,
The more I understood that things couldn't be the same,
It was the hardest decision that I ever had to make,
But I know that to fix me, we're gonna have to break.
It makes me sad to think that you've forgotten who you used to be,
Now you're just doing what you want, even when you know it hurts me,
You used to make me feel like what we had was special,
But now all you do is tell me not to be so difficult,
I hate to think our favorite places,
Are gonna be tainted by the memories, of what we used to be,
I can't go to our favorite restaurant, cause it's just gonna remind me,
Of how you and I used to be happy,
And I can't go to the movies,
Cause I'll think of the first time we went out,
I can't go to the mall cause I'll remember how we walked around,
Even getting chai will be hard,
Cause I'll be reminded of the day that I stopped guarding my heart.
And I can't go to prom, cause I'll remember how you spun me in your arms,
In front of everyone,
I was a little embarrassed,
But at the same time,
It was nice to know, you wanted them to know that I was yours, and you were mine.
I'm sorry that it had to end this way,
I hope you know I never wanted to say what I now have to say,
But I have to be strong,
Cause I know that I'm not wrong,
And I know that the boy I once loved is gone.
I'll still remember how it felt, every time that you kissed me,
And the way my heart would race when you said that you missed me,
It hurts to know I'll never get to hear you say you love me again,
Or let you hold me close while you're driving,
I'll never get to feel your hand in mine,
I'll miss staying up waiting for your call each night,
I'll miss your voice, and your laugh, and the scent that you always wear,
And the ways you would remind me, just how much you cared.
I can't listen to our playlist without wanting to cry,
Cause it reminds me too much of the times when everything was fine,
Like the day you brought me chai,
Or that perfect Thursday night,
When I admitted that you had been on my mind,
I break down whenever I think about,
The person that you were compared to who you are now,
You don't seem willing to change,
If only you had stayed the same,
Then I wouldn't have to think about doing this in the first place.
It could've been us against the world,
I could've stayed with you forever, could've been your only girl,
But I know that what you're doing isn't right,
And I'm sorry in advance for what I'll say to you tomorrow night.
I hate that I ever had to do this to you,
I told you everything I felt, and I thought that I might lose you,
But as we sat in your car, crying in each other's arms,
I realized that what we needed wasn't time apart.
I know you're hurting, and I'm sorry that I did this to you,
But I know that getting it out was what I needed to do,
I understand if you decide to walk away,
I'll let you go, I won't beg you to stay,
Cause even though it would be hard, I know that I would be OK.
I thought I was done,
With us and with this song,
But you're promising to change,
So I'll give you a month,
And if things don't get better,
I'll tell you that we can't be together.
It's only been a day, and I'm hopelessly confused,
I thought I did what's right for us, but what if I'm just hurting you,
You keep saying we're too dependent, but I don't think that's true,
It's messing with my head, making me question the things I thought I knew.
It doesn't help that I've been hearing the song you sang for me,
It won't go away, it just keeps playing on repeat,
And I can't stop touching the ring that you gave me,
If this doesn't work out, I know taking it off won't be easy,
Cause when I get nervous,
It's the first thing I touch,
What if I can't take it off because it hurts me too much,
I can't stand the thought,
Of never feeling like I'm ready to move on.
It's been two more days,
And I still don't feel secure,
Cause things are getting better, but how long before they start to get worse,
I'm worried that we're gonna fall apart,
I can already see this story ending with two broken hearts.
Is there a way to fix this,
Or is it too late,
Am I just dragging this out by promising I'll stay?
To be honest, I don't feel like you were willing to try,
You said you needed a break, now all I can do is cry,
Cause I feel like I failed even though it's not my fault,
But maybe in a few months we'll be able to talk.
I tried so hard to make it work and it wasn't enough,
And I've lost the version of you that I knew I'd always love,
I think that you and I both know I wasn't asking for too much,
I just wanted your time, but I guess you just want to give up,
You left me standing at my door,
Hating myself for not doing more,
Even though I know,
There was nothing I could do,
Cause I gave everything to you,
And all you did was make me feel like I'm not valued.
I hope that we can fix things, but it feels like it's too late,
You think I have so many problems, but you're the one that needs to change,
And if you can't, don't be surprised,
If I tell you that I,
Don't want you back,
Then I go find some other guy.
I thought you were my forever,
We were so good together,
Now I'm falling apart all because you couldn't do better,
You promised me you'd try,
But you didn't even fight for me.
Yet somehow I'm still missing you,
And wishing you were here right now,
But you're probably out,
I bet you're perfectly fine,
While I'm sitting here crying in my room,
Just trying to figure out how I'm supposed to go on without you.
I still have the candle that smells just like you,
And the jacket you gave me, but I can't wear it now,
Cause it's gonna make me think about,
The way that we used to be,
When everything was fine, and you and I were happy.
When I pictured our break-up, I thought it would be mutual,
Instead I've been left broken, wondering what the future will hold,
I hate to think that today might have been,
The last time, what if I never see you again,
Why did it have to end so badly,
Why did you have to break me like this,
Is today really the last time that we'll ever get to kiss,
What might have been our last goodbye felt so rushed,
It's only been a few hours, and already, I miss you so much.
I've been crying since the day,
That you said we need a break,
And I've tried to reach out,
But all it does is let me down,
Cause I've been nothing but caring,
And you've been nothing but cold,
And I hate this so much, I just wanna have your hand to hold,
I hope you're working on being a better person,
Because if you're not, then I can't see this working,
I hope you feel at least a little bad about the things you've done,
Cause the truth is, I've been a mess for two months.
How dare you tell me that you think that I'm not trying,
Then turn around and say that you can't stand to see me crying,
Now I'm not sleeping,
And not eating,
And it's all because of you,
And I know you want a break, but honestly, all I want is you.
Despite everything you've done,
I still want you by my side,
I can still hear you telling me that I'll be all right,
You were the one that I would run to, when I was broken inside,
But now there's no one to hold me while I cry.
And I won't be surprised,
If two weeks from now,
You come running back,
And say you're sorry, and then ask if we can work things out,
I thought I knew you,
Now it feels like I don't know you at all,
And I thought you knew me,
But maybe I was wrong.
We didn't even last a month,
You called me yesterday to say,
That this won't work,
And that I've hurt you too much,
And that you think you can't trust me,
Do you know how much that hurt me?
You've been breaking me down slowly for months,
While you lied to me, telling me that you loved me so much,
When the truth was, you wanted a way out,
How could you say I was the one that made you feel broken down?
I never asked for much,
All I wanted was your time,
You broke promise after promise, then turned around and said that I broke mine,
But I never broke a single one,
I thought that you were so in love,
I can't believe that all the things I tried to do weren't enough.
I still have all the memories,
Of times when we were happy,
It's sad to think that after today,
I'll be on my own,
Trying to figure out how to let you go.
This was never what I wanted,
This was never how I thought things would go,
I hope you know,
That I still love you,
I'll still be thinking of you,
And right now all I want is to get back the boy that I used to know.
I've been resisting the urge to text you,
And ask if you're all right,
Cause all your friends say that you're acting like you're fine,
But I know you well enough to realize,
That you're only doing that cause you have something to hide.
Part of me still wants you to come running back,
And another part says there's nothing left of what we had,
I don't know what to think,
And it's getting harder to leave you alone,
Cause I just wanna know,
Do you regret what you said,
Could we ever be in love again,
I just wish I had an answer, but I can't get one, so instead,
I'm just going on with life,
Hoping that soon you'll realize,
That maybe there's a future for you and I.
I'm ashamed to say it,
But I know I'll be here waiting,
Till you call me and say,
That you're sorry for all the mistakes you've made,
And you ask me to be yours one more time,
The only part I can't hear clearly are the words that make up my reply.
I thought that I could heal,
But after what you did last night, I don't know how to feel,
Cause when you held me, I felt safe,
But then you told me to move on right before you pulled away.
You said you were over it,
But I don't think that you are,
I could tell by the way that you held me in your arms,
That you're convincing yourself that you're fine,
But we both know that's nothing but a lie.
I hope you know that I don't hate you,
But I can't help it if I'm mad,
Cause one second things are fine, then the next you're trying,
To make me look bad,
And it makes me so sad,
To think that you're so unaffected,
While I'm still trying to forget what we had.
I'm ready to let go,
And I just want you to know,
That if you ask for me back, I'll probably say no,
Cause you've hurt me too much,
You're no longer someone I trust,
Now all that's left are all the memories of when we were in love.
I first met you in late August, when we were seventeen,
We started talking, and you wanted to know more about me,
I told you all about my family, and what I liked to do,
And the way that you listened made me wanna know you.
Right away, you made me feel safe,
There was nothing that I was afraid to say,
You made me feel special,
Like what I said mattered,
I didn't know then, that my heart would end up shattered.
But I'm getting ahead of myself,
So I'll go back to the way I felt, at the start,
Before I ever thought that I would give you my heart.
I still remember,
In early September,
The moment I realized,
That I couldn't get you off my mind,
I was away for the weekend,
And I caught myself wishing,
That I could text you or call you,
To tell you that the beds were uncomfortable,
But the food was pretty good,
And how I would have brought you with me if only I could,
Maybe I'd tell you I missed you, if I wasn't too scared to.
When I got home, you asked how it went,
I decided to be bold and let myself admit,
That I missed you,
And I wished you would've been there too.
A couple weeks went by,
You joked about bringing me chai,
At least I thought that's all it was,
Until you actually brought me one,
That was the day,
That I accepted that I liked you,
I asked for your number, and I finally got to text you.
And then you asked me out for the very first time,
I wouldn't let myself believe that I was really on your mind,
I convinced myself that it was nothing more than just you being nice.
On the outside I looked fine, but truthfully I was a nervous wreck,
I didn't wanna look stupid in front of your friends,
Or you,
Cause at this point I knew,
That I was falling hard, and you still had no clue.
When you wanted to talk, you would gently touch my shoulder,
And every time you did it, I wished I could move closer,
And as we were walking out, I felt you looking at me,
And I started to believe,
That we were a possibility.
We hung out two more times before September's end,
And I finally found the courage to hold your hand,
You said you liked it,
And that you wouldn't mind if,
I decided to do it again.
You came to dinner with my family,
I still remember everything,
The way you switched from holding my hand to holding me,
And when I asked about it later, you told me you wished you could go back and relive it,
And I said that I did too,
I wanted to say I couldn't stop thinking about you,
But I didn't wanna scare you,
So I kept quiet,
And waited for the right time to say it.
And then the next week you took me out for my birthday,
I couldn't wait for the arrival of Thursday,
We went to our favorite place,
You must've seen my feelings written all over my face,
Cause when I told you, you weren't surprised,
You said you felt the same way, while you held me for the second time,
I was so happy I could cry,
Cause after searching for years, I felt like I had found the right guy.
A month later, you asked for permission to date me,
And I still think about how happy you made me,
When you took me out for dinner,
Or a walk in the park,
Or even just when you'd hold me close in your car,
We had our first kiss, it was weird but amazing,
Then shortly after that, you started calling me baby,
And I felt so lucky to be your girl,
And to know that it would always be, you and me against the world.
But as time went by, you started pulling away,
At first I thought nothing of it, I didn't ask you to explain,
But then I realized,
That you weren't giving me your time,
Like you used to,
That's when I knew,
That something was changing,
And not for the better,
And that maybe you and I weren't meant to last forever,
I told you my concerns,
But you said we'd be fine,
You said that you were just busy, and that soon you'd have more time.
You used to promise that we'd never fight,
But then it started happening, almost every other night,
You said a lot of things that were less than nice,
But then you'd apologize,
And everything would be all right,
I believed we would get through it, and I thought that we had,
I thought that it was my fault, but you said I shouldn't feel bad,
Cause you and I were destined for forever,
And we were gonna grow and change together.
I felt fine until the night you got the call from your friends,
And I begged you not to go, but you still left,
And I cried for hours,
Cause I was so scared that you were gonna say that we needed to come to an end.
You said that you weren't sorry,
Cause you had a good time,
I tried to tell you that it hurt, but it didn't change your mind,
So I gave up,
And told myself things would get better,
If I just gave it time, we could fix this together.
And I started to notice, that when you got angry,
You'd say things you didn't mean just cause you wanted to hurt me,
I tried to be patient,
But I hated the way,
That you made me feel guilty,
After saying that the problem wasn't me,
I started to realize that you never kept the promises you made,
I don't know when that changed,
But at some point it had,
And the fact that it did makes me sad.
I asked why you were trying to pull away,
And you said that you thought we just needed some space,
Cause we were too dependent, and when I heard that, I felt my heart break,
I couldn't find the words to say,
To tell you I was hurting,
Cause you made me feel unworthy,
Of your time, and of your love,
I tried to be understanding, even though I believed that you weren't giving me enough,
The more I thought about the ways that you had changed,
The more I understood that things couldn't be the same,
It was the hardest decision that I ever had to make,
But I know that to fix me, we're gonna have to break.
It makes me sad to think that you've forgotten who you used to be,
Now you're just doing what you want, even when you know it hurts me,
You used to make me feel like what we had was special,
But now all you do is tell me not to be so difficult,
I hate to think our favorite places,
Are gonna be tainted by the memories, of what we used to be,
I can't go to our favorite restaurant, cause it's just gonna remind me,
Of how you and I used to be happy,
And I can't go to the movies,
Cause I'll think of the first time we went out,
I can't go to the mall cause I'll remember how we walked around,
Even getting chai will be hard,
Cause I'll be reminded of the day that I stopped guarding my heart.
And I can't go to prom, cause I'll remember how you spun me in your arms,
In front of everyone,
I was a little embarrassed,
But at the same time,
It was nice to know, you wanted them to know that I was yours, and you were mine.
I'm sorry that it had to end this way,
I hope you know I never wanted to say what I now have to say,
But I have to be strong,
Cause I know that I'm not wrong,
And I know that the boy I once loved is gone.
I'll still remember how it felt, every time that you kissed me,
And the way my heart would race when you said that you missed me,
It hurts to know I'll never get to hear you say you love me again,
Or let you hold me close while you're driving,
I'll never get to feel your hand in mine,
I'll miss staying up waiting for your call each night,
I'll miss your voice, and your laugh, and the scent that you always wear,
And the ways you would remind me, just how much you cared.
I can't listen to our playlist without wanting to cry,
Cause it reminds me too much of the times when everything was fine,
Like the day you brought me chai,
Or that perfect Thursday night,
When I admitted that you had been on my mind,
I break down whenever I think about,
The person that you were compared to who you are now,
You don't seem willing to change,
If only you had stayed the same,
Then I wouldn't have to think about doing this in the first place.
It could've been us against the world,
I could've stayed with you forever, could've been your only girl,
But I know that what you're doing isn't right,
And I'm sorry in advance for what I'll say to you tomorrow night.
I hate that I ever had to do this to you,
I told you everything I felt, and I thought that I might lose you,
But as we sat in your car, crying in each other's arms,
I realized that what we needed wasn't time apart.
I know you're hurting, and I'm sorry that I did this to you,
But I know that getting it out was what I needed to do,
I understand if you decide to walk away,
I'll let you go, I won't beg you to stay,
Cause even though it would be hard, I know that I would be OK.
I thought I was done,
With us and with this song,
But you're promising to change,
So I'll give you a month,
And if things don't get better,
I'll tell you that we can't be together.
It's only been a day, and I'm hopelessly confused,
I thought I did what's right for us, but what if I'm just hurting you,
You keep saying we're too dependent, but I don't think that's true,
It's messing with my head, making me question the things I thought I knew.
It doesn't help that I've been hearing the song you sang for me,
It won't go away, it just keeps playing on repeat,
And I can't stop touching the ring that you gave me,
If this doesn't work out, I know taking it off won't be easy,
Cause when I get nervous,
It's the first thing I touch,
What if I can't take it off because it hurts me too much,
I can't stand the thought,
Of never feeling like I'm ready to move on.
It's been two more days,
And I still don't feel secure,
Cause things are getting better, but how long before they start to get worse,
I'm worried that we're gonna fall apart,
I can already see this story ending with two broken hearts.
Is there a way to fix this,
Or is it too late,
Am I just dragging this out by promising I'll stay?
To be honest, I don't feel like you were willing to try,
You said you needed a break, now all I can do is cry,
Cause I feel like I failed even though it's not my fault,
But maybe in a few months we'll be able to talk.
I tried so hard to make it work and it wasn't enough,
And I've lost the version of you that I knew I'd always love,
I think that you and I both know I wasn't asking for too much,
I just wanted your time, but I guess you just want to give up,
You left me standing at my door,
Hating myself for not doing more,
Even though I know,
There was nothing I could do,
Cause I gave everything to you,
And all you did was make me feel like I'm not valued.
I hope that we can fix things, but it feels like it's too late,
You think I have so many problems, but you're the one that needs to change,
And if you can't, don't be surprised,
If I tell you that I,
Don't want you back,
Then I go find some other guy.
I thought you were my forever,
We were so good together,
Now I'm falling apart all because you couldn't do better,
You promised me you'd try,
But you didn't even fight for me.
Yet somehow I'm still missing you,
And wishing you were here right now,
But you're probably out,
I bet you're perfectly fine,
While I'm sitting here crying in my room,
Just trying to figure out how I'm supposed to go on without you.
I still have the candle that smells just like you,
And the jacket you gave me, but I can't wear it now,
Cause it's gonna make me think about,
The way that we used to be,
When everything was fine, and you and I were happy.
When I pictured our break-up, I thought it would be mutual,
Instead I've been left broken, wondering what the future will hold,
I hate to think that today might have been,
The last time, what if I never see you again,
Why did it have to end so badly,
Why did you have to break me like this,
Is today really the last time that we'll ever get to kiss,
What might have been our last goodbye felt so rushed,
It's only been a few hours, and already, I miss you so much.
I've been crying since the day,
That you said we need a break,
And I've tried to reach out,
But all it does is let me down,
Cause I've been nothing but caring,
And you've been nothing but cold,
And I hate this so much, I just wanna have your hand to hold,
I hope you're working on being a better person,
Because if you're not, then I can't see this working,
I hope you feel at least a little bad about the things you've done,
Cause the truth is, I've been a mess for two months.
How dare you tell me that you think that I'm not trying,
Then turn around and say that you can't stand to see me crying,
Now I'm not sleeping,
And not eating,
And it's all because of you,
And I know you want a break, but honestly, all I want is you.
Despite everything you've done,
I still want you by my side,
I can still hear you telling me that I'll be all right,
You were the one that I would run to, when I was broken inside,
But now there's no one to hold me while I cry.
And I won't be surprised,
If two weeks from now,
You come running back,
And say you're sorry, and then ask if we can work things out,
I thought I knew you,
Now it feels like I don't know you at all,
And I thought you knew me,
But maybe I was wrong.
We didn't even last a month,
You called me yesterday to say,
That this won't work,
And that I've hurt you too much,
And that you think you can't trust me,
Do you know how much that hurt me?
You've been breaking me down slowly for months,
While you lied to me, telling me that you loved me so much,
When the truth was, you wanted a way out,
How could you say I was the one that made you feel broken down?
I never asked for much,
All I wanted was your time,
You broke promise after promise, then turned around and said that I broke mine,
But I never broke a single one,
I thought that you were so in love,
I can't believe that all the things I tried to do weren't enough.
I still have all the memories,
Of times when we were happy,
It's sad to think that after today,
I'll be on my own,
Trying to figure out how to let you go.
This was never what I wanted,
This was never how I thought things would go,
I hope you know,
That I still love you,
I'll still be thinking of you,
And right now all I want is to get back the boy that I used to know.
I've been resisting the urge to text you,
And ask if you're all right,
Cause all your friends say that you're acting like you're fine,
But I know you well enough to realize,
That you're only doing that cause you have something to hide.
Part of me still wants you to come running back,
And another part says there's nothing left of what we had,
I don't know what to think,
And it's getting harder to leave you alone,
Cause I just wanna know,
Do you regret what you said,
Could we ever be in love again,
I just wish I had an answer, but I can't get one, so instead,
I'm just going on with life,
Hoping that soon you'll realize,
That maybe there's a future for you and I.
I'm ashamed to say it,
But I know I'll be here waiting,
Till you call me and say,
That you're sorry for all the mistakes you've made,
And you ask me to be yours one more time,
The only part I can't hear clearly are the words that make up my reply.
I thought that I could heal,
But after what you did last night, I don't know how to feel,
Cause when you held me, I felt safe,
But then you told me to move on right before you pulled away.
You said you were over it,
But I don't think that you are,
I could tell by the way that you held me in your arms,
That you're convincing yourself that you're fine,
But we both know that's nothing but a lie.
I hope you know that I don't hate you,
But I can't help it if I'm mad,
Cause one second things are fine, then the next you're trying,
To make me look bad,
And it makes me so sad,
To think that you're so unaffected,
While I'm still trying to forget what we had.
I'm ready to let go,
And I just want you to know,
That if you ask for me back, I'll probably say no,
Cause you've hurt me too much,
You're no longer someone I trust,
Now all that's left are all the memories of when we were in love.
