{Among the Four Corners}

[Bunn]

I have finally made a concepy I am playing around with. It's not great and has a lot of holes, but if I could get some tips and pointers, please let me know. If anyone wants to help me out here, it will be greatly appriciated!

I also have a few broad and/or vauge questions for you.

-when you roleplay, do you prefer a more open world story or a firm, tightly lored one?

-Plus, I need an idea on how to stylize the Four nations I have as the centerpieces. Should they look very similar to one another or be vastly different depending on the types of jobs and cultures they have?
I am thinking of expanding the world once this particular story arm is completed, so opinions are welcomed.

- How should I portray Light and Dark's personified forms. Ive heard the idea Yin and Yang, and I kinda like that- but it seems too broad.

{INTRO}
As much as the kingdom's inhaled the good of the world, they also exhaled chaos. Time was running out as the world's shortage of food and supplies began to dwindle. Everyone was paniced, hoping they wouldn't be the first to vanish.

It is said that the deer and elk stopped repopulating due to greedy hunters who only wanted the beautiful game, while others say that the goddes of life, Sienna was angry and began to take them to her realm. The fish had been disappearing without a trace, headed upstream to do what they must to make themselves multiply. When children came and stated that the rivers were awash with blood, no one knew what the source was nor why. The religious have taken to the streets, saying that their god of death, Judar, had marked the world with his blood- signifying that the end times will soon come- calling forth his sons- War, Famine, and Disease.

As the time went by, the first to strike was eat between the South and East. They had the most fertile of soil, and their people comtiously fought. The first battle was between the Southern Frecians, and the Eastern Quinarians. The Quinarians struck the first blow, opting for a quick death to finally get some potatoes for his bride- pregnant with her first child. She was so willowed it almost appeared as she could be swept off. But the Frecians were not happy, opting for a bloody retaliation, attacking the small family as well as a man who came to investigate.

At first, it was monthly when someone was attacked, but then it became weekly, and now daily. The Frecians have gotten the worst of it, the West, Wendalts, and the Northern Temarians were desperate and sent their mercenaries to find food- to fight. Food was so scarce that Frecians had to finally commit to the war treaty and lock down their borders so that their people could be safe and provided for. And due to that, many have now died bloody deaths, due to the ravenous invaders- so that they themselves could provide for their families.

Death's second son, Famine, he took the land by storm, showing that he may not be real, but his presence will be known. He and his brother War work together to obtain as many souls as they can. They farm from people's misery and have since touched fields, making their crops whither and the water in their wells reek of blood. He poisoned the food that people ate, forcing it back out of them. He was the most cunning of the three.

Many think that it will be years before Plauge comes to eliminate them, human, elf, even orc alike. But some say that he is on his way, and he will end everything if the people are still struggling.

Some say that Plauge is the most insane, his body unable to cope with the things his mind thinks and his flesh gives unto the world. Some say he will strike the water first, while others think the birds will be his messenger. They say he is the most wicked, because he cannot comprehend the things he does.

As he may be the most deadly, some say they have seen him lurking in the corners of the streets, his ragged appearance shrouded by his cloak. Some say he has claws for hands and flies eyes to scope out his next victim. He sees what his elder brothers are doing, but he.. He is waiting for the right time. And there might be enough time to stop him.

{GLOSSARY}

Gods
Life - Sienna
Controls the Earth and the things that roam over it, seen as the birth-giver of all things, mother of creatures.
Death - Judar
Controls the Abyss and human souls that have eventually perished on the surface world- father to mayhem
Light - Merida
Controls the Skies and the stars in the heavens, helping travelers find their way- mother of adventure.
Dark - Rendal
Controls the Seas and the weather that flows through clouds that he supposedly resides in- father of mystery.

Countries
North - Temarians
The north are primarily known for sheep herding and quarrying stone. The area is primarily mountainous while having vast valleys stretching from the base of the steep hills. They are heavily industrious.
East - Quinarians
The East has much marshland with an almost equal amount of fertile plains. The coast to the east has much fishing potential, pulling them forth to a more rounded agriculture.
South - Frecians
Their land is lush with willows which help rain retain in the soil, and of those that do get pulled up- the soil is blessed by Sienna herself. The ground is so rich that even the most hardy of plants wish to grow there.
West - Wendalts
With hilly, rocky regions, the area is covered by spruce and pine trees. The vast amount makes for good selling and the rocky hills keep them in place should a minor landslide occur.

 

[Generic Brooding Antihero]

First, you have to ask yourself: What do you want from this RP? What do you want the players to get from this RP?

You've established that there's some sort of apocalyptic event currently taking place. That's good, but where do you want to take it? Do you just want to see how it affects the daily lives of these players? Do you want to gather a group of characters that will try to keep the end of the world from happening? You need to figure that out first. By which, I mean: The introduction is good, and has the potential to be very intriguing. You just need to fill in the blanks where the characters play into this.

That said, here's my two cents on your questions:

When you roleplay, do you prefer a more open world story or a firm, tightly lored one?
I find that an open world runs the danger of introducing ridiculous and/or overpowered elements into the RP, but at the same time, lore that's too extensive is just overwhelming, restrictive, and drives players away. I know this is as cop-out an answer as they come, but you have to find a healthy middle ground.

I do think that what you write is just the right amount. The introduction does need a little editing and proofreading as some things sound confusing to a first-time reader. Personally, I'd do away with the names for the different countries. Just call them Northerners, Easterners, etc. The more strange sounding names you put there, the more overwhelming it is. Those things are little details, and if for introductions, you just want to show people the big picture.

Should they look very similar to one another or be vastly different depending on the types of jobs and cultures they have?
You should try to make them as different as possible, because otherwise, what's the point? Try to leave some aspects of the different nations vague, though. It will encourage your players to contribute to worldbuilding, which I'm sure a lot of people would appreciate. Elaborate on the little details only as you go along the RP. That way, it's less overwhelming to people, and the information actually sticks as they're taking it in gradually.

How should I portray Light and Dark's personified forms?
Well, that depends on how their characters are going to be relevant in the RP. What role are they going to play? Villains? Guides? Badass Deus Ex Machina at the End of the Story? From there, you should be able to decide how to best portray them.