Hippopotamus
had a Nostalgia Trip
I was writing this during my free time during class, I have an idea for where I'm going to take it but I need some proofreading first before I continue o vo
I had like, a little short paragraph at the beginning for forshadowing what would happen in the end but I really needed to edit it and so I omitted it for right now.
I also feel like I could do a better job with how I tie each paragraph together... ;;
Any part with an asterisk means I had trouble forming the wording for what I wanted to say, or potential errors.
Also, in regards to white bold 1050p, that's what I named the pen (but I dunno if that's self explanatory! o wo;;
--
A thin white mechanical pencil twirled whimsically around in the girl's soft and wrinkle-less hands. Two gems, shiny with liquid excess, settled upon the piece of paper sitting nearly motionless upon which a round computer desk was situated. For a while, those red jems continued to peer into the page, but after loosing interest they shifted and moved into the light of daytime.
It was a bright and sunny morning for the mostly nocturnal Ellime. She had stayed up the night previous to cure a case of writer's block. That night, Ellime had gotten a nebulous sense of inspiration from an odd sound just outside her door, but she could not effectively put that inspiration to words before morning came. And so there she was, staring intently out of her glass window, with the hopes that her day would lull her into writing again.
A full minute would pass before she had moved once more. The white bold 1050p she spun subconsciously while in her thoughts was moved from her hand's grasp into that of her skirt pocket's. She slid, with her now free hand, the rolling chair she had been on for a while now into its place under the computer desk. Organization settled, she waltzed off out of the dimly lit room to the outside world.
The day was bright as it was from her window. But unlike her window view, it was possible to see children, teens, and young guardians each playing outside in the sun. Ellime couldn't quite tell if they were actual parents just because of how different the kids looked from the adults... But that aside. On those rare occasions where it didn't snow, the kids would crawl out of their shelters to mingle just as they were doing at that moment in time.*
(I felt like elaborating/describing the kids more here, for smooth flow)
Ellime took her first few steps out of her doorway and into the fresh sunlight, helplessly revealing her full appearance in doing so. She was a beautiful woman. Although her hair, naturally a pale blonde, was *dotted* with streaks of color ranging from pink to red and white, it fell smoothly from her scalp to her shoulders. Her skin was void of any wrinkles or bruises. She didn't have much of a (syn for prominent) chest, but *what she lacked she made up with her curved thighs. Her face, *round and feminine but not overly plump, appeared soft and lively. The most prominent feature of Ellime*, however, was those piercing *crimson*(I didn't want to use crimson as a shade ; -red eyes of *hers.
As for how she dressed, she preferred to wear more comfortable clothes. Ellime had on crisp, red flats, a blue stretch-fit miniskirt with pockets, and a cherry red blouse under a tea green sweater. Any accessories, even though she wasn't particularly wearing any on that day, usually consisted of a headband, with a peppermint color scheme, or small diamond earrings, which she would put on whenever she felt like going out somewhere.
Ellime brought her hand up to her face to shield it from the sun. While doing so, she made her *merry (I feel like ommiting that word) way to her mailbox where she would pull down the lid and empty the contents into her hands.
Three envelopes. One, from her own publishing sponsor. Another was a letter from a distant pen-pal. The third... She couldn't tell at all. It was a plain white envelope pinned down with a clay seal which seemed to have the image of a royal stamp of sorts engraved upon it. Ellime stuffed the first two envelopes into her second skirt pocket, then headed over to the front of the house to pick at the mystery letter that had made its way to her mailbox.
When Ellime had just arrived to her garage door she managed to open the letter and pulled out the flock of papers stored inside. She took them, one by one,
--
And then that's all I have. o vo
Is it okay so far? Any comments? Concerns? Errors? What did I do well/poorly?
I had like, a little short paragraph at the beginning for forshadowing what would happen in the end but I really needed to edit it and so I omitted it for right now.
I also feel like I could do a better job with how I tie each paragraph together... ;;
Any part with an asterisk means I had trouble forming the wording for what I wanted to say, or potential errors.
Also, in regards to white bold 1050p, that's what I named the pen (but I dunno if that's self explanatory! o wo;;
--
A thin white mechanical pencil twirled whimsically around in the girl's soft and wrinkle-less hands. Two gems, shiny with liquid excess, settled upon the piece of paper sitting nearly motionless upon which a round computer desk was situated. For a while, those red jems continued to peer into the page, but after loosing interest they shifted and moved into the light of daytime.
It was a bright and sunny morning for the mostly nocturnal Ellime. She had stayed up the night previous to cure a case of writer's block. That night, Ellime had gotten a nebulous sense of inspiration from an odd sound just outside her door, but she could not effectively put that inspiration to words before morning came. And so there she was, staring intently out of her glass window, with the hopes that her day would lull her into writing again.
A full minute would pass before she had moved once more. The white bold 1050p she spun subconsciously while in her thoughts was moved from her hand's grasp into that of her skirt pocket's. She slid, with her now free hand, the rolling chair she had been on for a while now into its place under the computer desk. Organization settled, she waltzed off out of the dimly lit room to the outside world.
The day was bright as it was from her window. But unlike her window view, it was possible to see children, teens, and young guardians each playing outside in the sun. Ellime couldn't quite tell if they were actual parents just because of how different the kids looked from the adults... But that aside. On those rare occasions where it didn't snow, the kids would crawl out of their shelters to mingle just as they were doing at that moment in time.*
(I felt like elaborating/describing the kids more here, for smooth flow)
Ellime took her first few steps out of her doorway and into the fresh sunlight, helplessly revealing her full appearance in doing so. She was a beautiful woman. Although her hair, naturally a pale blonde, was *dotted* with streaks of color ranging from pink to red and white, it fell smoothly from her scalp to her shoulders. Her skin was void of any wrinkles or bruises. She didn't have much of a (syn for prominent) chest, but *what she lacked she made up with her curved thighs. Her face, *round and feminine but not overly plump, appeared soft and lively. The most prominent feature of Ellime*, however, was those piercing *crimson*(I didn't want to use crimson as a shade ; -
red eyes of *hers.As for how she dressed, she preferred to wear more comfortable clothes. Ellime had on crisp, red flats, a blue stretch-fit miniskirt with pockets, and a cherry red blouse under a tea green sweater. Any accessories, even though she wasn't particularly wearing any on that day, usually consisted of a headband, with a peppermint color scheme, or small diamond earrings, which she would put on whenever she felt like going out somewhere.
Ellime brought her hand up to her face to shield it from the sun. While doing so, she made her *merry (I feel like ommiting that word) way to her mailbox where she would pull down the lid and empty the contents into her hands.
Three envelopes. One, from her own publishing sponsor. Another was a letter from a distant pen-pal. The third... She couldn't tell at all. It was a plain white envelope pinned down with a clay seal which seemed to have the image of a royal stamp of sorts engraved upon it. Ellime stuffed the first two envelopes into her second skirt pocket, then headed over to the front of the house to pick at the mystery letter that had made its way to her mailbox.
When Ellime had just arrived to her garage door she managed to open the letter and pulled out the flock of papers stored inside. She took them, one by one,
--
And then that's all I have. o vo
Is it okay so far? Any comments? Concerns? Errors? What did I do well/poorly?
