thinking
sad
Margo
+ James
Remnants of bile simmered in the back of her throat, each breath causing the walls of her neck to be raked raw. The uncomfortable itching was dampened slightly with a sip of metallic and bitter red wine, offered by one of the meek, quick to obey, maids of Jordan College’s catering sector. The vile taste was masked by the heady scent of aftershave, melting wax and ripe leather. The lack of women was apparent in the congregation. All the higher ranking scholars were confined to one room, celebrating some success that granted them funding for one of their newest, prestigious projects. The grizzled faces of ancient men and their equally old dæmons acquainted the most false smiles and gestures from Margo who had little sleep.
James’ uneasiness did not aid the situation, the dæmon paced up and around her legs, beside her he hastily brushed occasionally against her dress with his coiled, prehensile tail. He was outwardly conveying his counterpart’s impatience and it irked her. Her face was tightlipped and taunt with tire hanging lowly under her eyes. Despite the beautiful auburn curls set upon her head there was something slightly worn about her; youth seemed to be drained from her complexion. She set her blank gaze down toward James, the monkey-dæmon idly soothed himself by cooing softly but immediately halted when she locked onto him. His brow furrowed in confusion when Margo subtly beckoned him to rest on her shoulder. He did not know if this was a genuine comfort or if he was ignorant but relished in her soft touch that met him once he clambered onto her back.
It looked better when you were closer to your dæmon.
When she appeased James, she could swear that at first, he electrified her body with some peculiar polarity. It had been so long since she pressed the warmth of his fur with her bare hand and it was pleasant. Dare make this a habit. She warned herself while quickly glancing down her eyes down on her dæmon who had his head buried into her hair. James was pathetic but with this primal reaction to touch was a pinnacle point her research was studying, much to his obliviousness.
Margo knew she had little funding too seriously experiment with her theories and this expedition to the North was probably the last major project the Magisterium would allow the college in a while. She would just have to be patient. For now, she would just sip her wine and enjoy the canopies of food. The flavours were reminiscent of when she was a child and attended her parents’ high society social meetings. She’d play maid to all the snooty ladies and gentlemen, some of whom probably attended this very room today… Margo tried not to remember James who would trot by her side as an obedient Pomeranian, collecting dropped handkerchiefs and cutlery for the drunken guests.
A sudden, second wave of sickness overthrew her balance this time and she found herself subconsciously clenching James’ head into her hair. A cry of shock escaped his throat and his long arms flailed, peeling her grip from his head in panic. The darkness that crept her vision was like blotched ink and tears of breathlessness wept from both of their faces and the closest, seated scholars turned their attention to the scene. It felt like thousands of red hot needles pricked her at the same time all over her body.
“What are you looking at?” She demanded lowly, directing her unwarranted fury at James, who was hunched on the floor shaking next to her.
“Nothing.” Her dæmon’s face was completely deadpan. He got up, brushed his fur quickly and began to walk away, not inclining for Margo to follow but she had to. He made it a few metres before slowing his pace, allowing Margo to scramble up from her awkward kneeling position. She excused herself abruptly from the prying eyes of the scholars and guests and stubbornly followed James.
*
“This ‘research’ is making us sick. Don’t you realise that?” James had stood himself sat upon the basin of the bathroom countertop, to be at eye level with her. His amber, emotive eyes bore into her grey crescents, there was a great pain that throbbed in her chest but she dare let James see that.
“It is just because we are reaching something, for once in our lives… Don’t you see it?” She was met by silence, warranting her to continue her onslaught onto him. “If we could find a way to do it, we could both be independent! You don’t need me and I wouldn’t need you. The vulnerability would be gone…” The rest of her manic ramblings were left unlistened to because James’ head filled with fleeting images of disgust; could she really want to split? It was all theoretical philosophy! No way would she dare… She couldn’t let him go. James slammed his head against the cool, tiled wall in defiance, such pain caused Margo to hold her head in agony.
“Don’t you see?” He wailed, rubbing his head with one hand, “We are the same person.”
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