You lose it in a week cause you don't have any funding.
Now... I wish... hmmm, something that would be fun to corrupt. Oh! I wish I had a monkey's paw.
Leon is able to use his knife and then constantly trip you, making you unable to get up as your recovery animations are canceled and negated by the knife.
You try to figure out what to do as a joke for a thread, but you rolled a 1.