Certainly when there is way too much organisation or planning, leaving very little or no room for improvising, then the element of surprise is not going to be available. Another big "no", for me at least, is when you feel from the onset that there is no flow at all, there is no connection, kind...
Alpha male seeking an open minded workout partner, let's RP! Let's explore our fantasies yet keeping in touch with reality. I love staying fit and healthy, are you sometimes up to a physical or mental challenge? A romantic heart is always welcome. Let's push the boundaries even to exhaustion...