Temma-Kati

Does Temma actively insult me on here or something because I think 


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I'm seeing


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A PATTERN HERE


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I don't know if your rank is intentionally a Tumblr reference, but in case it is, "Thanks. I stole them from the president"

Damn you guys are entertaining. Want some candy~? >

If anyone wants to know the difference between Tem and I, we chose our favorite SPN gifs and they pretty much sum us up.


Mine:


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And Tems:


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He has a great personality.

Hi! I just wanna say that you /guys?/ have some very entertaining posts. Haha, I look forward to reading them all tbh. 

People: Eat less salt!


Me:


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TEM WHAT THE HELL

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I do appreciate this visual pun though.


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Captain Jack.... SPARROW

If this is the shit I find on my phone after I let drunk Tem use it, I don't want to live on this planet anymore.

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OKAY SO


Since Tem and I are just one state above Kentucky and we were both more than a little drunk last night, we looked up strange laws on KY. The first one I get: no ice cream cones in your back packet. Back 'yonder when y'all ain't got no auto-biles' to ride in' (I swear to god people actually talk like that) and they had horses, people would steal horses by luring them with treats in their pockets. Okay, cool, I get it.


But what the fuck Kentucky...


"One may not sell BLUE duckings/chicks in numbers less than six."


Um, is there a problem with blue? What if they were purple? Can I sell five purple ducklings?  Can I sell five green chicks? What's your definition of blue? Do you have a sheet of different blues to reference to?


I need answers.

Look at this weird fuckery my brother saves on my phone.


It's like he DOWNLOADED "awkward explanations"

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*Checks off 2016* *Sighs* *Prays* *Gets consumed by satan* *Drags Tem with me* *waits for Vincent because there's no way that douchebag got into heaven* 

Guys, I seriously can't stop looking at the ring. I usually hate sparkly shiny stuff. Now i'm like yes.


Well, it might have to do with the minor fact that the love of my life just asked me to marry him.


S C R E A M I N G 


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OKAY MY BABIES I HAVE A STORY FOR YOOOUUUU SO C'MERE AND GATHER ROUND!


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I'm so excited. 


OKAY SO a little bit ago, my boyfriend (Vincent) whisked me away on a surprise date. Now, I'm not one for romantic fluffy dates, so he took me to the activity we met at: lazer tag. But after I kicked his ass (Boyah) we decided just to... walk. Just wander around. Anyways, it was simple and fun. Now here's the catch: my left shoe. Okay, I s w e a r t o g o d my left shoe - ALL of them - have this ability to untie no matter how i tie them - even a triple knot.


It's REALLY annoying.


Anyways, Vincent sees my shoe in untied and just ducks down to tie it, so i'm 'k thanks' and we head home. Anyways, I step inside the dorm me and Temma share he he leaves. Or so I thought.


I lean down to take off my shoes and i see it. The ring.


I gasped because like hey there's a DIAMOND on my SHOELACE and then Vincent opens the door and picks up my shoe, and bless his heart, kneels down and says "Temma, will you marry me? My highschool sweetheart, my first kiss, my first everything - My SOLE mate."


So naturally, I start laughing and crying at once as he undoes the ring from the shoelace and looked at me. It takes me a minute, then -


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And he puts the ring on my finger. And he kisses me. 


SO I'M ENGAGED TO THE MAN I'VE DATED FOR THREE YEARS


*squeeee*

I don't even fucking know I just wanted to share this gif


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Big Bro: I have footage of you and Tem passed out together as babies.


Me: You're a weird mother fucker.


BB: 


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Me: .......


BB: .........


Me: As I said, you're a weird mother fucker.

How Tem describes me to potential boyfriends (Before I had one)


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How i described Tem to potention boyfriends (Before he had one)


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THE GRAND ADVENTURES OF DRUNK TEM AND TEMMA: Episode One!


NTK Info.(Need to know Information): 


Blake = Tems BF


Tem: Blake is sooooo *hic* muscular and he's sooo awesome I wanna shove my tonge down his throat *lots of slurry giigles*


Me: View attachment 227810


Tem: I mean Temmmmmma he's got a six paaaaack oh I want cheese (WTF Tem?)


Me: View attachment 227811


Tem: I WANNA FUCK BLAKE


Me: View attachment 227812

KIDS GATHER 'ROUND I GOTS A STORY FOR Y'ALL SO SITTY-SIT YOUR ASS DOWN AND LISTEN UP


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As none of you knew before, Tem and I have been accepted into the University of Cincinnati. We used to be in the University of Seattle, but we were very much discriminated against there. So, we packed up and left - we got our dorm, and we're good now.


BUT THAT'S NOT IT


While at the airport in L.A.(It was a connection), we saw a guy with a decent Fender guitar. Really nicely polished, the chords were clean, etc etc.  This guy also wore a PTV shirt, so of course Tem and I were excited to listen to the guy play music we liked. Basically, we were, well...


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Anyways, he starts playing and


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IT'S SO BAD. THE GUITAR IS OUT OF TUNE. HOS POSTURE IS AWFUL. WE'RE PRETTY SURE HE WAS A  F A K E P L A Y E R.


So we don't talk about anything, we just walk up and start asking questions about his guitar. "Do you know much about this guitar?" "Oh yeah, this is my baby!" "Oh okay, what's the model?" "CD-Six-Oh." "Did you tune it?" "Yeah it's pretty much perfect."


At this, me and tem look at each other like


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Because obviously, that was NOT a CD-SIXTY, it was probably some rip-off because as we look, the Fender insignias not there! So I step up and ask to see it, and he nods like all excited and I ask him how to tune it and which chord to tune first. He looks a little like...


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So I pluck the chords and tune them up and all that stuff, and he's starting to look a little embarrassed since people have gathered around. So before i take pity on this poor wanna-be, I just fucking shred it. I've had Match Into Water pretty much down pat by now, so I just go through the whole thing and Tems over there smirking like a proud bitch and the dude's just absolutely dying and I'm the Queen bow down bitch aaaaaaand so anyways


I finish the song and hand back his guitar, and I start to turn away and end his misery but i decide nah bro just kill him. So i look at him, and -


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AND TEM JUST LOOSES IT OH GOD HE'S LAUGHING SO HARD HE'S CRYING


Anyways. *Clears throat*


That's the story. 

@Musician


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Tem, where the absolute FUCK did you get this shoe and what did you do to it? 


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That's not even your PHONE? Tem, what the HELL have you done? I swear to god Tem, when you're awake with the hangover of your lifetime, I'm gonna blast the loudest, most annoying drop-bass song I can find until you find your common sense. 


Idiot.

Can I just tell you guys that when Tem is drunk, it's absolutely hilarious? I sent him to take a cold shower after I had him drink some water and he came back out smelling really weird, so I was like Okay dumbass we've been in Cinci for less than a day WTF did you do? And I walked into the bathroom and saw toothpaste in the shower.


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Okay.


So I walk out and Tems laying on the couch mumbling incoherently since he's half-deaf and his hearing aid was off so I turn it back on and ask him.


Oh my god, Tem, you fucking idiot. 


He used toothpaste as fucking body wash.


Tem, you absolute fucktard what the HELL did you drink? Is this the kind of weird shit that happens when you go out with friends without me? God, I better get paid for living with you because this babysitting bullshit is getting old. 

Here's to native Cincinnatians - yo holla my friends, me and Tem are here to make your world sparkle! Roll out the red velvet velour, bitches - the King and Queen twins are here to rule.

I just wanna say yo holla to all those in L.A. cause hello hello friends guess where me and Tem just landed

An apple a day keeps anyone away if you throw it hard enough.