Sherwood

Sherwood · Sep 30, 2018

So, I guess RSVP'ing to a wedding invite with 'maybe next time' is the wrong answer. . . .

Sherwood · Sep 25, 2018

Do you know why Ariel the Mermaid wears seashells on her chest? She outgrew her 'B' shells! Ha!

Sherwood · Sep 11, 2018

I have just made the post that puts me up in the top five posters on the site. Hell yeah!

Sherwood · Sep 9, 2018

We used to have village idiots, but now with the internet, those suckers have gone global.

Sherwood · Sep 9, 2018

I bought my ex-girlfriend a trash compactor. Or, as Victoria Secret call it, a corset.

Sherwood · Sep 8, 2018

When I was younger, I broke up with a girl and took her wheelchair. After a day, guess who came crawling back to me?

Sherwood · Jul 27, 2018

Do you know how Harry Potter goes downhill? He walks. JK. Rolling.

Sherwood · Jul 23, 2018

An apple a day will keep anyone away if you throw it hard enough.

Sherwood · Jul 21, 2018

I am thinking of starting a band called "Books". That way, no one will judge us by our covers.

RandomBlobMan · Jul 21, 2018

I demand more of your awesome profile posts, good sir.

LennyTheMemeGod · Jul 10, 2018

“August 15, 2005.”

Whoa.

Sherwood · Apr 21, 2018

Life is like toilet paper. You are either on a roll, or you are dealing with the shit from some asshole!

Purr · Apr 21, 2018

Aaaaaaack! It's been... 11 whole daaaaays without a Sherwood pun!!

What are we gonna do until he posts again?!

Hmmm....

"What does a dyslexic, agnostic, and insomniac spend most of his time doing?"

"Staying up all night wondering if there really is a dog." =)

Your turn! =)

Purr · Apr 10, 2018

Hey Sherwood! Why do seagulls fly over the sea?

Because if they flew over the bay, they would be called bagels!

8D

Sherwood · Apr 3, 2018

I always mean what I say. I don't always mean to say it out loud, but I always mean it.

Purr · Apr 3, 2018

Remember, Sherwood - if you are attacked by a mob of clowns... go for the juggler. =)

Sherwood · Apr 3, 2018

I have to swear that microwave minutes are ten times longer than regular minutes.

Sherwood · Apr 2, 2018

When the Pope dies, is he getting promoted or fired?

Sherwood · Apr 2, 2018

Your eyes water when you yawn because you miss your bed and it makes you sad.

Sherwood · Apr 2, 2018

Technically, Moses was the first person with a tablet to download content from the cloud.

Sherwood · Mar 31, 2018

I choked on a piece of carrot earlier today. All I could think of is that I might die, and a doughnut wouldn't have done this to me.

Never trust carrots. They are evil.