Poetry Buttercup's nihilistic song lyrics. (feedback welcome)

Buttercup.

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(spoiler alert, I'm one of the people who use "nihilistic" as shorthand for "casually depressed")

Okay, some things to say first of all:
- These are song lyrics, as is the vast majority of my "poetry". Music-wise the verses are subdued and melancholic, the choruses explode into a more rock-like feel.
- I generally don't write serious lyrics because I think I suck ass at them, so I hide behind tongue-in-cheekness most of the time. This is one of my rare attempts to get out of that box at least a little bit.
- I think I'm actually legit impaired in the mental department that allows people to process or create figurative meaning (probably something to do with being on the spectrum) so I honestly can't tell if something's profound or just a pile of random hogwash. I think there's a little bit of both in this, honestly. If you asked me what the song as a whole is trying to say I'd run away crying, so there. (Then I might crawl back an hour later, say 'umm... growing up in a Society(tm) and becoming jaded, maybe?' and run away again.)
- All feedback is welcome.

(verse)
what can I say
it's plain as day
we'll come to terms
with our scrapes and burns
o say, can't you see
the uncertainty
our bluff might get called
it's not too late to fold

(verse)
who would've thought
it's all for naught
the vows that we take
the promises we make (maybe "fake", I dunno lol)
all hope is gone
still life goes on
if you can't win
you might as well give in

(chorus)
hang up the phone and lock the door
ignore the raven's 'nevermore'
throw all your memories in the fire
nostalgia's nothing but a liar

(verse)
life passes by
don't even try
to seize more than you
were predetermined to
hush, hold your tongue
the axe has swung
we're not in charge
of this sinking barge

(chorus)
so throw your morals overboard
it's extra weight we can't afford
reduced to fight or flight we're free
we're animals, it's either you or me

(verse fragment serving as an outro, I guess)
hope for the best
be unimpressed
 
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An older (and perhaps more nihilistic) one.


(verse)
I'm a fool for not being
adept at this 'seeing
the light at the end of the tunnel' thing
I gaze at the murky a-
-byss, oh, how quirky
p'raps someday it's gonna gaze back and sing:

(chorus)
"that old German was right
ain't no God watching over ya
no divine friend in control
fix your own shite
just a tip, but why take my ad-
-vice, hey, I'm just a black hole"

(verse)
but the abyss remains quiet
and feeds me a diet
of self-doubt and feeling I've lost my way
if you feel great
that's great, I can't relate
I just sit on my arse every day and pray:

(chorus)
"o God, if you're listening
be a doll, hear me sing
I just can't do this alone
deus ex machina
prithee quit fucking a-
-bout, hey man, throw me a bone"

(verse)
but there ain't no reply
from the guy in the sky
you think that might force me to question him?
well you clearly don't know me
'cause God is my homie
o say, can't you hear his voice beckoning?

(God's beckoning channeled through a dissonant guitar solo)
 
(One from back when I had enough energy left to be angry rather than just plain depressed about the world. You can tell from the fact that it starts with an F-bomb. The verses are basically a hard rock version of Adele's 'Rolling in the Deep', the choruses are much slower.)

(verse)
fuck the earth to stimulate our economic growth
that's the modern mindset I've been brought up not to loathe
money's made today and what's tomorrow we don't care
consequences, shmonsequences, they're not ours to bear

(chorus A)
so burn down the forests and make the rivers straight
the world must meet our standards and never deviate
and keep up the airstrikes, o champions of world peace
the money made will justify civilian casualties

(verse)
intervene and interfere, just don't leave well alone
anything that brings in cash, the nation will condone
I was born a human so I'll surely understand
the need for greed will always have the upper fucking hand

(chorus A again)

(verse)

every faith says: pretty please, don't be a piece of shit
fuck that, let's bomb folks with whom we disagree a bit
money and religion, why else would you start a war?
guns don't sell themselves, you know, and peace is such a bore

(chorus B)
denounce on the surface, support behind the scenes
we'll all keep our mouths shut and stick to browsing memes
there won't be no backlash, no eyebrows raised today
we're all too tired to protest your 96th crusade
 
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i really liked this in the first one:

the last one was my favourite though!
Thank you! I suppose that part is an example of the "when in doubt, reference someone who already is successful to make yourself look smarter" mentality, or standing on the shoulders of giants or something. Poe's 'Raven' is a pretty good poem in any case, and it's a shame he didn't focus more on poetry if you ask me. His prose can get a little self-indulgent, but the rhythm and general vibes of his poetry just sit right with me.
 
(One from back when I had enough energy left to be angry rather than just plain depressed about the world. You can tell from the fact that it starts with an F-bomb. The verses are basically a hard rock version of Adele's 'Rolling in the Deep', the choruses are much slower.)

(verse)
fuck the earth to stimulate our economic growth
that's the modern mindset I've been brought up not to loathe
money's made today and what's tomorrow we don't care
consequences, shmonsequences, they're not ours to bear

(chorus A)
so burn down the forests and make the rivers straight
the world must meet our standards and never deviate
and keep up the airstrikes, o champions of world peace
the money made will justify civilian casualties

(verse)
intervene and interfere, just don't leave well alone
anything that brings in cash, the nation will condone
I was born a human so I'll surely understand
the need for greed will always have the upper fucking hand

(chorus A again)

(verse)

every faith says: pretty please, don't be a piece of shit
fuck that, let's bomb folks with whom we disagree a bit
money and religion, why else would you start a war?
guns don't sell themselves, you know, and peace is such a bore

(chorus B)
denounce on the surface, support behind the scenes
we'll all keep our mouths shut and stick to browsing memes
there won't be no backlash, no eyebrows raised today
we're all to tired to protest your 96th crusade
ok but. this whole song. is rly. rly. well done like i
i rly like this song
wowie sdhgjhds
syllable count is phenomenal and the rhymes r stellar
all with a deeper message i just aaaaa
this makes me very happy in the way that its. maddeningly and accurately depressing lol
keep up the good work : D
 
Okay, some things to say first of all:
- These are song lyrics, as is the vast majority of my "poetry". Music-wise the verses are subdued and melancholic, the choruses explode into a more rock-like feel.
- I generally don't write serious lyrics because I think I suck ass at them, so I hide behind tongue-in-cheekness most of the time. This is one of my rare attempts to get out of that box at least a little bit.
- I think I'm actually legit impaired in the mental department that allows people to process or create figurative meaning (probably something to do with being on the spectrum) so I honestly can't tell if something's profound or just a pile of random hogwash. I think there's a little bit of both in this, honestly. If you asked me what the song as a whole is trying to say I'd run away crying, so there. (Then I might crawl back an hour later, say 'umm... growing up in a Society(tm) and becoming jaded, maybe?' and run away again.)
- All feedback is welcome.

(verse)
what can I say
it's plain as day
we'll come to terms
with our scrapes and burns
o say, can't you see
the uncertainty
our bluff might get called
it's not too late to fold

(verse)
who would've thought
it's all for naught
the vows that we take
the promises we make (maybe "fake", I dunno lol)
all hope is gone
still life goes on
if you can't win
you might as well give in

(chorus)
hang up the phone and lock the door
ignore the raven's 'nevermore'
throw all your memories in the fire
nostalgia's nothing but a liar

(verse)
life passes by
don't even try
to seize more than you
were predetermined to
hush, hold your tongue
the axe has swung
we're not in charge
of this sinking barge

(chorus)
so throw your morals overboard
it's extra weight we can't afford
reduced to fight or flight we're free
we're animals, it's either you or me

(verse fragment serving as an outro, I guess)
hope for the best
be unimpressed
I love this. It's seems so dystopian and slightly unerving. Like a warning for our ephemeral earth. I think changing the line to fake would expand and give the lyrics more depth.

Anyways, the rest of your songs are wonderful as well! Keep writing!
 
A far more straightforward one this time. May or may not be based on personal experience. Uses rhythmic phasing to a somewhat hypnotising effect, I suppose. The number of repetitions is just a rough estimate, I don't have the music written yet.

I'm depressed
'cause I do nothing with my life
'cause I'm too tired all the time
'cause I'm depressed 'cause I do nothing with my life 'cause I'm too tired all the time
'cause I'm depressed 'cause I do nothing with my life 'cause I'm too tired all the time
'cause I'm depressed 'cause I do nothing with my life 'cause I'm too tired all the time
'cause I'm depressed 'cause I do nothing with my life 'cause I'm too tired all the time
'cause I'm depressed 'cause I do nothing with my life 'cause I'm too tired all the time
'cause I'm depressed 'cause I do nothing with my life 'cause I'm too tired all the time
'cause I'm depressed 'cause I do nothing with my life 'cause I'm too tired all the time
'cause I'm depressed 'cause I do nothing with my life 'cause I'm too tired all the time
'cause I'm depressed 'cause I do nothing with my life 'cause I'm too tired all the time
'cause I'm depressed 'cause I do nothing with my life 'cause I'm too tired all the time
'cause I'm depressed 'cause I do nothing with my life 'cause I'm too tired all the time
'cause I'm a pest 'cause I perpetuate my strife 'cause I was never worth a dime
'cause I'm depressed 'cause I do nothing with my life 'cause I'm too tired all the time

if there's a way this cycle can be broken
it ain't the pills that added 30 pounds
there's nothing good in me that they've awoken
p'raps nothing's ever been there to be found.
 
Good ear for accent placement. I can really hear a lot of strong possible metrical readings of a lot of these and there's a lot of really good structure here for a flow to work in.

I feel like some of the incidental lines get a little wordy and I think you might find some really interesting stuff if you experiment with cutting out some excess words (like prepositions, conjunctions, linking verbs, etc).

I am curious what nationality you are, there's some individual things that I'm noticing work more strongly in UK/AU English and less strongly in US/CA English and I'm wondering if I'm just imagining things.
 
Good ear for accent placement. I can really hear a lot of strong possible metrical readings of a lot of these and there's a lot of really good structure here for a flow to work in.

I feel like some of the incidental lines get a little wordy and I think you might find some really interesting stuff if you experiment with cutting out some excess words (like prepositions, conjunctions, linking verbs, etc).

I am curious what nationality you are, there's some individual things that I'm noticing work more strongly in UK/AU English and less strongly in US/CA English and I'm wondering if I'm just imagining things.
Thanks for the input!
I'm aware that I get a little too wordy with my lyrics whereas a lot of people reduce the grammatical structure to its bare essentials, and well... it's what it is, I might make some small alterations when (ahem, IF) I'm actually composing/recording it.

As for English, I speak/sing with a southern English accent so some things in my lyrics rely on that pronunciation. (I'm assuming you meant pronunciation rather than subtle shifts in the meanings of certain words?)
 
One fresh out of the oven, no music yet and I might add more verses and/or a chorus of some sort.

you tell me I'm deserving of affection
this stupid brain will never understand
you say that it's all fine
when all I do is whine
but tell me, don't it get a little bland?

you say I'm not so bad, I think it's funny
there's little to support such daring claims
I'm tired all the time
I've never HAD my prime
my hopes and dreams have all gone up in flames
 
The "I'm pretty sure I have ADHD but it's difficult to get diagnosed with it as an adult where I live" ditty. Also oops, the rhythm and rhyme scheme is identical to the previous one. I'm very original.


I've always found it far too hard to focus
attention span, it's such a fickle whore
there's times it stays for hours
and grants me superpowers
but most days it keeps darting out the door

I mem'rised random crap when I was little
I'll recall that till the day I die
but what I said I'd do
an hour ago or two
just flutters off into the fucking sky
 
The "I love having to sell 1/4 of the best years of my life (as a bare minimum) to someone richer than myself just so I don't have to starve to death" song/poem for thine enjoyment. A work of fiction.

6/8 rhythm, stressed syllables in bold & quiet beats as "..." for convenience (by which I mean it makes it harder to read)

eight hours a day ... ... I play pretend
just
to get paid, ... delaying the end
ne
ver will I ever make enough cash
t' quit this damn game 'fore I'm turned into ash

it's scary to think that I'm doing alright
I still have a place to call home for the night
ain't
that a pretty low bar for success?
I'd be a goner with anything less

each
passing week it feels harder to cope
I'm sure you get tired of hearing me mope
the bare fucking min'mum just feels like too much
I'm shite and I'd best be remembered as
such
 

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